Unlucky Star
by Fukou da
Summary: The bro adventures of bros doing bro things.
1. Prologue: A Glimpse of the Future

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from To Aru Majutsu No Index in any shape or capacity. In case you are horribly lost, this is a fan fiction, and nothing more.

* * *

**Prologue: A Glimpse of the Future **

Dull thumps echoed through the impenetrable superstructure; only sound permeated the luminescent green tank that housed Academy City's most important Director.

Aleister Crowley was not pleased.

Approximately six minutes ago, he had received no less than four top priority messages from the Anti-Skill headquarters in districts 7, 10, 18, and 22, reporting the appearance of a "very large disturbance." They had failed to mention, however, exactly what the disturbance actually was. He normally would not be too bothered by something like this; the Anti-Skills were trained to respond to troublesome situations after all. However, this time was quite different from most other previous irregularities.

He had not planned this, nor had he prior knowledge about it. Furthermore, the disturbance seemed to be most concentrated in District 7.

District 7 was where the windowless building resided.

Crowley shifted restlessly as he flipped through the thousands of cameras located around his technological fortress. Anti-Skill was a military organization in nature. They had been trained to always report their activities to their superiors, and to do so in detail. A tedious system, perhaps, but the constant updates ensured that he would always have the newest information available, and could therefore act accordingly to almost any situation that occurred. For Anti-Skill to leave him with such a vague message, it could only suggest that the "large disturbance" was so great that they could not afford to leave any person behind to explain the details. Adding this to the hundreds of aircraft launch reports he was receiving from the Academy City outside airbases, it was apparent that this was a premeditated attack.

'But who is behind it?' he pondered internally. By the sheer range of the effected sections, it can be assumed that the attack comes in the form of many peoples, not just one powerful individual. However, most religious sects did not work together well enough to form a substantial joint-offensive. The only ones who are both in the position to attack and have the sufficient numbers to do so are the Roman Catholics a few of the larger sects of the Islamic religion. He personally hoped it was the former… the latter would prove to be troublesome.

Static danced across his eyes. Almost every single camera within the immediate vicinity had been rendered inoperable. Crowley's frown deepened; this was obviously meant to keep him from interfering. [Kazakiri Hyouka] was currently inoperable due to the event two weeks ago, and they had effectively blinded him from most of District 7. He had to admit, whoever was behind this attack was exceptionally well versed in the art of war.

However, he had taken precautions against such an attack. He had secretly recalled the MISAKA Network immediately after the malfunction of [Kazakiri Hyouka], keeping them confined to the various underground bases surrounding Academy City. Now that the opposing party had committed themselves, he would be able to mobilize the entirety of the network and crush them from behind. A classic pincer technique.

"All according to plan," he whispered, smirking.

Crowley opened a distribution map of the Sister's locations with a slight twitch of the eye. He would have to rely on the visual data feed from the Sisters in order to properly coordinate the counterattack.

However, the map did not display orderly clusters surrounding the outskirts of Academy City.

Thousands of dots, each representing an individual Sister, swarmed the technological metropolis at high speeds, congregating at the northern part of District 7.

"They dispatched without orders?" Crowley muttered, his eyes widening slightly.

Several more thumps resounded throughout the building.

"…"

* * *

[Access granted]

[Command initialized]

[Commencing synchronization of MISAKA Serial Number 11096 to {Aleister Crowley}]

[Processing…]

[Visual and audio reception synchronization completed]

* * *

"'This does not seem to be fairing well,' Misaka observes bluntly."

Misaka 11096 stood upright in the HsAFH-11 military helicopter, holding on to the side railings for support. Three Sisters stood beside her while a fourth piloted the aircraft from the cockpit.

"'While Misaka agrees with your assessment, Misaka must emphasize the importance of retrieving Serial Number 20001 unharmed. Misaka believes this is the best-'"

The Sister next to 11096 was cut off midsentence as the HsAFH-11 suddenly lurched to the left. A massive tentacle raced past, barely missing the small aircraft.

The chopper below them was not so lucky.

The vine-like mass clipped the tail, sending it spinning out of control towards the windowless building. Seven Misakas jumped out of the wrecked helicopter in quick succession, deploying their parachutes almost immediately afterwards. They watched wordlessly as the ill-fated aircraft slammed into the unknown force that surrounded the strange structure, breaking apart and dispersing harmlessly into the air.

A message relayed to every Sister in the network as they drifted slowly to the ground;

['This is Echo-Six Leader; Misaka's unit has been disabled. Misaka will meet up with Bravo and Zulu ground forces and attempt to provide support against the target. Keep fighting,' Misaka says as she attempts to cheer on her comrades.]

Misaka 11096 turned her attention away from the descending Echo-Six and towards the gigantic humanoid organism that continued to stumble blindly around the city. The network administrator was located somewhere near the top of the creature's head. Unfortunately, its head also appeared to be the source of the tentacles. There would be no hope of rescuing Serial Number 20001 unless they were dealt with.

"'Hang on,' Misaka warns!"

They shot upwards at dizzying speeds as another tendril slashed through the air they had occupied no less than three seconds ago, missing them by a scant 10 meters. Air pressure from the narrow miss assailed the craft, and the chopper rocked chaotically as the clone pilot desperately fought to maintain control.

The thunderous roar of Gatling gun fire filled the turbulent air as the Sisters, undeterred by the violent shaking, rained hell upon their organic adversary from above. High caliber rounds tore through the entangled layers of fleshy mass, shredding it to ribbons. Chunks of the wounded limb feel to the ground as it rapidly retracted back to the creature's head.

A decisive victory.

Or at least it would have been in a normal situation. The tentacles almost seemed like a replica of the mythical hydra; every time the Sisters would destroy one, ten more would take its place. They were also starting to react quicker, to move faster. The Sisters had deduced that this [parameter increase] had something to do with the eight large tentacles that were currently "anchoring" the main body to the ground, and had committed three separate battalions dedicated to destroying them.

However, despite their best efforts, the eight "anchor points" had remained largely unfazed.

"'If anything, they've just grown bigger,' Misaka grumbles in frustration…"

Another message entered her mind and abruptly put an end to her complaints;

['This is Echo-Six Leader, Misaka's unit has successfully landed, but were ambushed. Misaka's unit is down three Misaka's, and are being overrun,' Misaka yells while she fends off numerous attacks! 'To all Misakas' who are forced to make an emergency ejection, avoid the rooftops AT ALL COSTS. Repeat, avoid the rooftops AT ALL COSTS. Misaka will try to- wait, no! Get off! Misaka does not enjoy this,' Misaka screams while she struggles furiously! 'No, no, NO. MISAKA DOES NOT WISH TO LOSE HER VIRGINITY IN THIS MANNER-']

The connection to the unfortunate Echo-Six Leader was suddenly severed; she most likely cut it herself to spare them from hearing her ordeal. Misaka 11096 looked away. No words were exchanged… there was no need. They could do nothing for them. While she truly wanted to rush off to rescue her fallen comrades, she, along with the other Sisters silently standing around her, knew perfectly well that they would just be dragged down with them at this point. The bigger tentacles were, after all, simply a congregation of thousands of smaller tentacles. Faster and more agile, they were even more of a threat then its larger counterpart, as they could attack from literally every direction. Echo-Six was not the first to be captured by them, nor would they be the last. The only option was to continue on and make sure that their sacrifice would not be in vain. They still had a mission, after all.

However, despite their heroic efforts, it simply wasn't enough. Misaka 11096 slightly clenched her fists in frustration. The Sisters had been able to hold off the beast between a combination of superior technology, good coordination, and sheer numbers. However Misaka 11096, and by association the rest of the MISAKA Network, were quickly beginning to realize that they were going to eventually be overwhelmed if they didn't do something different, and fast.

Misaka 16702, the pilot, suddenly spoke up,

"'Radar is picking up an unidentified object coming in at four o'clock… signature does not fit any known aircraft design… it appears to be flying straight for the target… it's matching, no, overtaking our velocity?' Misaka reports while deeply confused."

The four Sisters turned as one towards the oncoming anomaly. Misaka 11096 scanned the area, magnifying her view ten-fold with the special military goggles assigned to her.

There, in the distance,

A single bright red couch, propelled through unknown means, rocketed towards the beast at an unbelievable speed. Duct taped to each side were what appeared to be four jumbo-sized bottle rockets, which she assumed to be the "missiles". Atop this strange aircraft were four people, all sitting comfortably despite the ridiculous velocity they were traveling at.

All except for a fifth person who, instead of sitting, was being dragged along by a rope that was attached to the back of the bizarre furniture.

Misaka 11096 left out a short gasp as her eyesight focused on this fifth person. Even at this distance, there was no mistaking the spiky black hair of that misfortunate boy.

['This is Misaka 11096 of Knife-Two, the Savior and his minor character friends have appeared at the southeast front of the battlefield. Misaka requests that all remaining aircraft move to escort the Savior to his destination,' Misaka says as she enjoys a large burst of sudden confidence.]

* * *

"FUKOU DA!"

Tied against his will to back of the affectionately named "Kouch," Kamijou Touma once again found himself in yet another misfortunate predicament.

"Nyaa, you really should relax Kami-yan, you might loosen the rope too much."

"Yea, it would be really bad if you fell from this height, Kami-yan."

"YOU'RE THE ONES WHO PUT ME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"Well we wouldn't be able to fly if you were negating the vectors-"

"SO THEN USE A HELICOPTER INSTEAD!"

"We don't have a helicopter, Kami-yan…"

"SO WHAT? YOU STOLE ONE FROM ANTI-SKILL LAST TIME, DIDN'T YOU?"

"That was different."

"LIKE HELL IT WAS!"

"Tch, aren't you supposed to be the big damn hero that saves everybody? Quit your bitching and play your fuckin' role!"

"Yea Kami-yan, don't be that way! We need you to help us! Think of all the flags we could raise by rescuing Accelerator's loli! We'll be swimming in girls!"

"Oh I see, we're going for the hero route. Good thinking Pierce!"

"I really hate you people. I really do."

No sooner had this exchange ended, the couch began to decelerate.

"Why are we slowing down, Accelerator? It's because of Kami-yan, isn't it?"

"How could I possibly do anything from back here? Stop blaming me for everything!"

"Look," Accelerator grunted, jerking his head towards their left.

Three Anti-Skill helicopters approached their position, flying in loose formation.

"Why are they flying towards us, nyaa?"

"…There's even more coming to our right. What the fuck do they want?"

"You don't think they're still pissed at us for totaling that prototype thing a couple of weeks ago, do you?"

"Who's flying towards us? What's going on? Damn it, I can't see anything back here!"

"…"

The five nervously watched the approaching aircrafts. The one leading the formation began to fly parallel with them, revealing the inner contents of the open main body.

Four Misaka Sisters blankly stared at them.

"Misaka Imouto?" Touma blurted out in confusion.

The second one to left spoke, "'Yes,' Misaka says while acknowledging the common identification."

The one farthest to the right spoke up, "'Misaka and her comrades are here to escort the Savior and his minor character friends,' Misaka explains quickly."

"Who are you calling a 'minor character' you damn clone?"

"Ahh, Misaka Imouto is so moe when she speaks in relay~"

"You have some pretty fucked up fetishes man."

"About that, Misaka Imouto… er Imoutos…? What the hell is going on?" Touma asked.

The Sister furthest to the left answered as more of the clone-piloted choppers moved to cover them, "'The beast appeared in the school district at approximately 1400 hours' Misaka begins. 'Misaka and her comrades became aware of the situation when Serial Number 20001 sent an emergency distress beacon from on top of the creatures head. Misaka has been fighting to retrieve Serial Number 20001 ever since.' Misaka concludes with a short version of the events."

The Sister next to her spoke up again, "'Misaka has had trouble dealing with the creature's tentacles… many Misaka have been captured in the process. Misaka fears that they have met a fate worst then death,' Misaka says somberly.

"Captured by tentacles? We might need some more information so that we can, uh, save them."

"God damn it Aogami…"

"'Misaka suspects that they are in the process of molestation,' Misaka complies in the request for more detailed information."

"And you just left them there?"

"Misaka and her comrades determined that Misaka would simply be dragged down with them. Misaka would like to point out that Misaka's comrades have probably not been… completely violated yet, and thus still have time to be saved if Misaka manages to take out the source of the tentacles.' Misaka says defensively."

"Not completely? How do you know?" Motoharu questioned.

"'…Misaka has noticed that the tentacles seem to greatly enjoy foreplay… and spanking.' Misaka says with mild embarrassment…'Misaka hypothesizes that nothing will happen outside of this as long as Misaka and her comrades keep the other tentacles distracted.' Misaka says hesitantly."

It sounded like a bad B-movie. Touma blushed as his imagination got the better of him. A quick glance told him that he was not the only one, as Aogami was practically drooling.

Accelerator broke the silence, "So all we have to do is take out the source of the tentacles, and you Sisters will be saved right?"

"'Yes, that would be the case. However, they seem to have rapid regenerative properties, so it is difficult for Misaka to approach the base…' Misaka says while she states the dilemma."

Tsuchimikado flashed a cat-like grin, "No problem! We'll take out that monster for you. Our team is meant for this kind of thing, nyaa!"

"'About that, Misaka was under the impression that your group consisted only of males. Did you accidently gender swap the newest addition?' Misaka inquires as she points at the new female."

Touma craned his neck to look at the black haired girl sitting in between Aogami and Accelerator. She had been abnormally quiet during the entire exchange, not saying a word since she had burst in on their breakfast and informed them of the current situation.

"Who, Gunha? Nah, we couldn't get a hold of him; he went on a mission earlier to save a cat or something." Motoharu replied. He jutted his thumb towards the girl, "She's our client. And she knows stuff about the target, so we decided to let her come with us."

"'…A giant tentacle monster is roaming the streets… and he went to save a cat?' Misaka asks incredulously."

The blonde shrugged, "Yea, he's pretty dedicated."

The sound of heavy gunfire suddenly filled the air, completely drowning out the clone's response. Looking up, Kamijou saw three massive tendrils swiping at the assembled Misaka formation around them.

Or at least it used to be three. The mass split into thousands of narrower tentacles, avoiding the majority of the high caliber slugs completely. The viney hoard raced towards the fleet; it was too many to count, let alone defend against.

"'FIRE AT ITS BASE' MISAKA BELLOWS!"

Hundreds of released missiles streaked past the tangled mass and slammed into the sections right above the point of divergence. Explosions bombarded their inner core, utterly destroying the root of the slimy amassments.

Chunks of the decimated limbs fell to the ground, taking nine choppers with them. Fifty white parachutes deployed in near unison and joined the falling debris on its decent to the ground.

"'It it appears that all Misaka's managed to make it out in time,' Misaka says while breathing a sigh of relief." She paused for a moment, then continued, "The enemy attacks are becoming more troublesome to deal with. Misaka believes that the Savior and his friends are crucial to retrieving the system administrator, and will help to cover for the Savior as best as Misaka can. However, Misaka suggests that we formulate a battle strategy before we attempt the rescue.' Misaka concludes as she shares her opinion."

Motoharu furrowed his brow, "Yea, that's the problem. We can't hurt the target; it's just being used by the tentacle thing growing out of its head. Even if we could, it might hurt Last Order in the process. The only thing we can attack is the tentacles itself."

"Not to mention that we have to find a way to shrink her back to normal size," Aogami added.

"I think Kami-yan will be able to handle that; the growth is most likely caused by some sort of rune-based magic. We would just need to find the origin point and let him give it a good whack. In fact, it's probably the source of the tentacles, so I'm guessing the rune location is somewhere near the top of the head along with Last Order." Motoharu shook his head, "The problem is reaching it with all the tentacles in the way. We gotta find some way to distract them long enough to actually get there…"

"Whatever we do, it needs to be fast. I only have about six minutes until my battery runs out."

"…I know how to distract it." said the black haired girl, speaking for the first time.

Everybody looked in her direction.

"She's been my friend for as long as I can remember. That hair band has always been a part of her… but now it got turned into that… thing."

The girl continued on, "But even though it's going against her will now, it still seems to be acting to protect her. So, if something were to "attack" her…lets say by doing something to her that she would find "embarrassing," it would probably do everything it its power to prevent it, right?"

"I suppose that's true… yes, that should work… " Motoharu answered slowly.

"And what exactly would she find embarrassing, Satan-san?" Aogami asked, smiling lecherously in anticipation.

Satan looked up at the towering figure in the distance. A wicked smile played across her face as she gripped her aluminum bat with both hands.

"We need to flip her skirt."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So the story begins. This can be considered a prologue/preview hybrid, as it ties in more with a much later chapter rather then the next one. This is my first Fanfic, so any tips/constructive criticism would be much appreciated. Hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 1: Calm Before the Shit Storm

Hey guys. Sorry about the MASSIVE delay. Shit happened. I should be able to update ALOT faster from now on.

As far as a time line, the story begins right after the events of Volume 8, before Volumes 9 and 10.

Anyways, here's the next chapter.

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**Chapter 1: Calm Before the Shit Storm**

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* * *

**Tuesday, September 15**

* * *

_**Yomikawa's Apartment**_

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not going."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

Yomikawa Aiho let loose an explosive sigh. The boy was without a doubt the most difficult, uncompromising person she had ever met. Well, she supposed some of her higher-ups could give him a run for his money, but that was neither here nor there.

"Accelerator, do you honestly think I'm going to let you lay around the house all day?"

"I just got out of the hospital!"

"Even more reason for you to get started as fast as possible."

Accelerator shot her a look of disdain from his lounging position on the couch.

"Yomikawa, there is absolutely no way in hell that I'm going to some half-assed school. There's no _reason_ too."

"I can think of a few."

"Oh yea?"

"How about not being an obnoxious punk and trying to actually learn something like other people your age?"

Accelerator looked back at her with a bored expression. "I am a certified genius. In fact, I am the top genius of a city of geniuses. Hell, all things considering, I'm probably the smartest person in the entire damn world. What, exactly, could you possibly teach me?"

"My, aren't we the vain one."

"Accurate self assessment would seem like vanity to those of inferior intellect, wouldn't it? Besides, even if I did want to receive some third rate high school education, that shitty brat would be an even bigger problem, wouldn't she?" He jut his thumb towards Last Order, who was happily scribbling in a coloring book.

"Oh, that won't be a problem. I enrolled her along with you. I even requested that you sit together so that you can always keep an eye on her." She directed herself towards the overly-energetic girl as she suddenly perked up from her coloring, "Would you like to go to school with Accelerator, Last Order?"

Last Order flashed a bright smile, "'Yes!' Misaka yells excitedly as Misaka expresses her desire to attend!"

Yomikawa smirked as she turned back towards Accelerator, "Well there you have it Accelerator, it's already two against one."

"Tch, who cares what that shitty brat thinks? I don't want to go."

Last Order immediately deflated to his words. Yomikawa was waiting for this however, and sprung her trap.

"I see. Well that's too bad I guess. It looks like Last Order _does_ want to go, however. Ah, but with her being so prone to kidnappings, I wonder how we'll be able to protect her during the day?" She quickly adopted a thinking pose, "We can't take Anti-Skills off duty just to protect one civilian that may or may not be threatened, after all. And if she were kidnapped, we might be hard pressed to find her again… Oh well, I suppose that we can only hope for the best. Not that her well-being really matters to you, right Accelerator-_kun_?"

Yomikawa looked back towards a glaring Accelerator with a smirk on her face. Last Order was perhaps Accelerator's only weakness in this world, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

"If it's that big of a hassle, just don't let her go to school in the first place, you fuckin' old bat."

"Hm, but it _is_ mandatory for an Academy City student to attend class until graduation, right? You may, for all intents and purposes, be immune to such laws, but she is not. Since I took the time to register her into the system, and since you are not of the acceptable age to home school her, she _will_ have to attend whether you like it or not." She gave him a harsh smile, "Of course, if you were to also attend class, we wouldn't have to worry about her protection so much…"

"…You bitch."

"Don't like being outsmarted, do you mister 'genius'?"

"…FINE. I'll go to your fucking shitty ass school. Are you fucking happy now?"

Smiling triumphantly, Yomikawa reached into her duffel bag.

"Very. Here's your uniforms, they're fit to your measurements." she answered, throwing him two bundles of clothes. One was much smaller than the other, and was obviously meant for a girl. Accelerator gruffly flung said bundle at an ecstatic looking Last Order, who was now singing a made up song about schools.

"When do we have to go to this shit-hole anyways?"

"Wednesday."

"Wed- that's tomorrow!"

"Why yes, it is. You know for a genius you're pretty slow."

"Fuck you."

"Sorry Accelerator, I'm not into whiny albino children."

The rest of the evening was spent with Accelerator and Yomikawa bantering back and forth as Last Order continued to happily color-in a cutesy school house in her coloring book.

Yoshikawa Kikyou, who had observed the entire spectacle from her usual living room chair, merely smiled as she continued to peer at her laptop. It seemed that things were beginning to get interesting for her two former test subjects.

She had no idea how much of an understatement that truly was.

* * *

**Wednesday, September 16**

* * *

_**A Certain Apartment Complex **_

"TOUMA!"

"Gah!"

Jolted from his sleep, the eyes of a certain spiky-haired teenager snapped open in alarm. Morning light poured from the door way, framing the small figure standing beside him.

"Touma, it's rude to ignore a lady!"

The misfortunate boy stared for a moment at the petite nun, then sighed.

"Every morning… can't I ever just wake up peacefully for once?" he asked the ceiling.

"Touma, Touma! Stop spouting nonsense and make breakfast already! I'm going to die of starvation at this rate…"

"…Somehow, I seriously doubt that… tch, hold on…"

Kamijou Touma hoisted himself out of the bathtub he slept in and groggily stumbled over to the small kitchen of his apartment. He had grown accustomed to this routine over the past few months, eating before taking a shower. Living with a girl that had the appetite of a blue whale would do that.

He opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs, taking care to note the amount of food still left. He estimated he had about two or three days left before Index managed to eat through all his reserves. He turned on the burner and placed the pan on top of it, letting it preheat to an acceptable temperature while he busied himself with cracking half a dozen eggs into a bowl. Today would be a cheese omelet. Again. The next few mornings would also, in fact, be cheese omelets, with different assorted vegetables thrown in to spice things up. His menu may not vary much, but a poor student such as himself couldn't exactly pass up a mega sale on eggs, now could he?

He poured his egg mixture into the frying pan and began to reflexively work the outside "layer" so that it wouldn't burn. Allowing his body to go to work out of muscle memory, he let his mind drift to the dream he had been experiencing right before Index had woken him. He had been having bizarre dreams for the past couple of nights, involving scenarios of ever-increasing ridiculousness. He had never been one to see much meaning in his dreams, but for some unexplained reason he had feeling that these, at least, were somehow more important.

He strained his mind, trying to remember and isolate certain details of his most recent nightly adventure. There were helicopters everywhere, all around him. He saw Academy City underneath his dangling feet…but he wasn't floating. He was being dragged along by a rope. A rope that had been connected to…

"…a flying couch?" he spoke aloud.

"Eh? Toufa, whaff are you tawfing about?" Index asked as she continued to shovel food in her mouth.

Touma blinked, realizing that he had automatically cooked and dumped the omelet onto Index's waiting plate, and was midway through making one for himself.

"Just thinking about some stuff." He muttered nonchalantly as he went back to preparing his own breakfast.

A moment later, he heard a tremendous gulping noise, and Index spoke up again in a more serious tone,

"What aren't you telling me?"

Touma sighed, sitting down opposite of her with his own omelet, one much smaller than hers, "It's not anything important, Index. I was just thinking out loud. It's nothing to be worried about."

"Touma." She growled in annoyance, "You always say that, then you go run off headlong into something and get injured like an idiot."

"H-Hey, I don't always-"

"Touma. You never tell me what's going on, even though I could probably help you."

"Like I said, there's nothing-"

"Touma, what are you hiding from me?"

"I'm telling you, I'm not-"

"Touma!"

"…fine. You want to know? I've been having weird dreams lately. Happy?"

Index peered at him suspiciously, "You're having nightmares?"

"They're not nightmares…not really. Just really surreal stuff. Like last night, I was being dragged along by a flying couch."

Index gave him a quizzical look as she polished off her jumbo-sized omelet, "What else happened?"

Gazing down at his own half eaten omelet, Touma once again tried to recall what had transpired. It was like trying to hold water in cupped hands; no matter how he tried to keep all the contents from spilling, the details kept slowly slipping away.

"I was being dragged along by a flying couch…and there was a bunch of helicopters and…tentacles? And for some reason those two idiot classmates of mine were sitting on the couch… with that psycho Accelerator guy. We had to do something about the tentacles… and we were missing someone… I can't remember his name, but it was definitely a guy. But a girl was in his place for some reason… I think Aogami called her "Satan" or something… there were also lots of Misa-"

He was abruptly cut off by Index, who had suddenly jumped out of her chair.

"What? S-Satan? Y-You've been consorting with the devil in your sleep? She yelped, pointing at him with a shaky hand.

"Wha-?"

"T-This is bad! I…I MUST CLEANSE YOU IMMEADIATELY! Ah, where is my Holy Water?"

" W-Wait a second Index, what are you talk- Hey what the hell, stop! Put that-! Where did you even get that? FUKOU DA!"

* * *

It started as a pleasant Wednesday morning for Tsuchimikado Motoharu. The mischievous spy had awoken to the delicious smell of his wonderful sister's cooking, and had wasted no time digging in. She departed soon after for her early morning maid duties, leaving him with plenty of time to kill. Not that he minded; getting up at four in the morning each day was a small price to pay for the time he got to spend with his beloved Maika. He could always catch up on his sleep during class anyways.

It was around six o'clock when he heard the familiar noises of commotion from the other side of his bedroom wall, followed by the equally familiar yelp of pain and trademark scream of misfortune. He would have normally tuned out the daily disturbance, but this time was an exception. No, today was a special day, one that would involve taking advantage of a certain gullible neighbor of his.

He rapped his knuckles on the thin wall that separated the two rooms, "You alright in there, Kami-yan?"

The noise died down immediately, and the apologetic voice of Kamijo Touma reached his ears, "Yea… sorry if I woke you up…"

"Nya, I've been up for awhile. I'm just reminding you that you need to get to school early."

"Huh? Why?"

The blond haired triple agent began to pull on his school uniform, "You're really behind, aren't you Kami-yan? Komoe-sensei wanted you to help escort a transfer student around campus."

"What? I never heard anything about this…"

"Nya, you probably weren't paying attention in class again. You really need to get rid of that habit, Kami-yan."

"I don't want to hear that from someone like you."

"I'm not the one who's facing possible expulsion from poor attention skills."

"W-Wait, what?"

The corner of Tsuchimikado's mouth twitched upwards. Too easy.

Without missing a beat, he set the preconceived plan into motion, "Kami-yan, Komoe-sensei told me to tell you that if you didn't get to school early to help the new guy out, she wouldn't be able to keep turning a blind eye to your bad grades any more…"

"WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"I thought you already knew…"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THOUGHT- DAMN IT ALL!" The boy roared.

Frantic scuffling could be heard as Touma haphazardly gathered his books and threw on his school attire. Three minutes later, and he was out the door.

Tsuchimikado grinned deviously as he finished buttoning his shirt. Hook, line, and sucker. Touma could be so gullible sometimes.

The triple agent crossed out "Trick Kami-yan: Transfer Student" on his special 'must do' list (which was naturally just under "Spend precious time with imouto") and left the apartment, humming happily to himself as he strolled down his usual path to school. It wasn't long till he met up with his fellow classmate, Aogami Pierce, who was peering appraisingly into the local lingerie store. Wrenching his eyes away from the various scanty undergarments, the blue haired boy slid into place beside him and immediately began recounting the heroic conquest of his latest galge in great detail.

"-and then right before she passed away from the breast cancer, she said, 'Even if fate separates us, my love for you will always endure, Hisao...'" Pierce gazed teary-eyed in the distance for a moment before continuing, "They really did a great job with that route... the ending was so sad, but so beautiful, man."

"Sounds like a pretty cool story bro... but not as cool as breakfast being made by a little sister!"

"You- You bastard! Laughing from atop your lofty 'Sister-end' position... I'll show you! Even an otaku can make his waifu a reality if he works hard enough!"

"Best of luck then. Though I don't think you'll be finding any rich tsunderes or magical girls anytime soon, Nya!"

"You don't know until you try! But speaking of magical girls, I think I was visited by one yesterday"

"What makes you say that?"

"You know how I go home early on Wednesdays to watch the new 'Super Alice-tan' right? Well when I went to get a snack out of the fridge, there was a pair of blue and white striped panties laying in there!"

"…You had a pair of panties in the fridge?"

"Yea, but I don't know where they came from! There was this note next to them that said 'Keep these sacred panties with you at all times. You'll know how to use them when the time comes.' And then underneath all that it said 'If these panties are ever misplaced, they will always return back to this frigid domain.' So I was all like 'the hell?' and picked them up right? But that was the thing man, when I picked them up, they were _ice cold._ Like arctic sea cold."

"Er… well they _were_ in a refrigerator, bro."

"No man, you don't understand. It was like… it was like it was _radiating_ cold. Like it wasn't cold because of the fridge, but because it's just always that cold… even when I let them sit in the kitchen for awhile, it was still like that. Shit was bizarre."

"…uh huh… Pierce, are you sure you weren't high last night?"

"No man! I'm serious!"

"Then maybe a dream…?"

"It wasn't a dream! I'm not joking! Here, I have them with me right now, you can see for yourself!"

Pierce reached into his pocket with confidence, eager to prove his sanity. However, he did not pull out said panties.

His right hand emerged to reveal a fistful of spaghetti. Wet, slimy spaghetti.

Dropping it in surprise, the lint-laden pasta spilled out onto the sidewalk and splattered everywhere, much to the disgust of various commuters.

"What the hell?"

"You little prick, I just bought these pants yesterday!"

"Spaghetti every god damned time!"

"Fucking Gamestop!"

"Wha- h-how?" Pierce sputtered as two cleaning bots rushed to the scene.

Tsuchimikado raised an eyebrow at the mess, then casually began walking away, "…Yep. Definitely high."

"Shut up! I… I must have just been tired!"

"Sure Pierce! Make sure you tell Judgment that! I need to get to class though, so I'll see you around…or not!" Tsuchimikado responded, lazily waving him off as he jogged away from his mortified friend.

Pierce stood wide eyed for a second, then began sprinting after him, "Don't leave me here damn it!"

* * *

_**Somewhere in Academy City**_

Touma ran towards the bullet train station as if his life depended on it. Which in a way it did, considering the implications of getting kicked out of school. He could most certainly kiss his current lifestyle goodbye if that happened.

But it wouldn't happen, not as long as he took the bullet train anyways. He preferred to walk to school since the train fair was (in his opinion) unreasonably high, but this was an emergency.

Still holding onto the single slice of bread that he had grabbed on his way out of the house, he continued running flat out down the bustling sidewalks of Academy City. No doubt Index was eating the rest of his unfinished omelet. A thought that didn't make his stomach too happy. But what else was he supposed to do-?

"Kamijou Touma!"

Touma's head whipped around. He spotted a familiar red haired magician making his way towards him and swore vehemently.

'_Why now, of all times? Why can't the magicians ever start something on one of my off days_?'

"I have important matters to discuss with you." the fire manipulator yelled.

"Sorry, but can it wait? I'm kind of busy today!"

Without waiting for an answer, he focused his attention back on the task at hand. He heard Stiyl yelling something at him, but decided to ignore it. If it was really that important, he could chase him all the way to school. He had to admit, he _was_ a bit curious of what Stiyl would want to discuss first thing in the morning, but as long as it didn't involve anything _too_ bad he could just-

**WHAM**

Touma stumbled horribly, colliding headfirst into a poor girl who hadn't been quick enough to dodge his mad dash for relative freedom. He reflexively reached around her as they tumbled, grabbing her by the back and spinning so that he could take the brunt of the damage.

_*Pshing!*_

The deflating noise that signaled the negation of the supernatural met his ears. Ignoring it, he tried to continue his spin, only to find that reality could be rather unrelenting. Not finishing the spin completely, the two of them crashed sideways on the concrete in a tangle of limbs.

Touma grunted in pain as he tried to remove himself from the girl, then froze. What had he just dispelled? A passive esper skill? A magician with an enchantment placed on them? Something else entirely?

He peered at her as she opened her eyes, and watched as she stared back in alarm. No bad intent as far as he could tell, just fear.

"You okay? I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You- I- who are-?" she tried to ask in a shaky voice.

She was obviously disorientated. A concussion?

"You come first, are you injured?" he asked again. He couldn't help but feel a bit concerned for her, even if she was a total stranger.

"…N-no, I'm fine." she squeaked. "But I don't-"

"Ah, this is just like one of my shoujos!" a girl suddenly squealed. A crowd of girls had amassed around the two of them in the blink of an eye.

"More like a romantic comedy. Shoujo stories always have that one asshole that tries to embarrass the main girl by blackmailing her or something."

"Man, why can't I ever run into a cute guy like that? Life's so cruel…"

"Er, Wha-?" Touma managed as the girl laying next to him suddenly went very red in the face.

What kind of wonderland did these people live in?

"Kamijou Touma!" Stiyl roared as he fought through the crowd, "Is this what you meant by 'being busy?'"

"You've got to be- go home you damned priest!" Touma yelled as he rapidly disentangled himself from the bewildered girl.

"So red-hair is the blackmailer! I knew it was a Shoujo!"

"Ah, but it looks like spiky-hair is running from him! He obviously has a dark and mysterious past!"

"So cool~!"

"But red is trying to hurt him…"

"As if we'll let him get away with that! Get him!"

The crowd surged towards the fire magician, clearing the path ahead of Touma. Astonished at the unbelievable bout of good luck that he had just experience, he jumped back onto his feet and yelled one last apology to the fallen girl before he took off. Stiyl may be engulfed in a sea of disillusioned fangirls, but that would only slow him down temporarily. He needed to get to the train and secure his passage to school at all costs.

Gritting his teeth in reckless determination, Kamijou Touma pressed on.

* * *

_**A Certain High School**_

Aisa Himegami sat quietly at her seat with her head buried in her arms. Nobody else was inside the classroom. Seiri had gone off to speak with the staff regarding the upcoming Daihaseisai Festival; the rest of the class was infamous for arriving at the last minute. It was a perfect opportunity to get in a quick nap.

Or at least it was one. The sliding door of the classroom slammed open, jolting her awake before she could drift off into blissful unconsciousness. She lifted her head and glared at the source of the disturbance, which came in the form of Aogami Pierce and Tsuchimikado Motoharu.

"-really smells like ass… Whoa, the classroom's empty." Tsuchimikado commented as he and Pierce strolled inside.

Pierce, who for some reason reeked of spaghetti, arced his eyebrows in surprise, "Wonder what happened… Fukiyose is always in here talking to herself first thing in the morning… what's up with that anyways?"

"It's probably stress right? Daihaseisai is coming up after all."

Pierce nodded thoughtfully, "Yea, I guess that makes sense. She really needs to stop taking everything so seriously and lighten up… damn there's such an oppressive atmosphere in here today."

"Nya, you feel that too? It's like the air got heavy all of a sudden…"

The two of them shivered slightly as Himegami fumed quietly. How could they not even notice her sitting there? And to go so far as to say that Seiri was talking to herself! She was the one she was talking too! No matter how you look at it, it was unforgivable for them to say such a thing!

"…unforgivable." She whispered.

"You say something Pierce?"

"No, I thought you did…"

"I could've sworn… damn it, is this classroom haunted or something? I might have to get nee-chin to perform an exorcism for me…"

"No, don't do that! It might be a shy ghost girl that can't communicate too well with us!"

"Nya, does that type of character truly exist?"

"Of course it does! But if it's a girl, Kami-yan's probably already raised her flags… where IS Kami-yan anyways?

Himegami perked up as her growing anger was suddenly put on hold. Come to think of it, it _was _strange to see these two here so early, and especially without Touma with them.

"On his way to show a transfer student around campus." Tsuchimikado responded smoothly.

"Whoa, I didn't know we had someone new coming in..."

A large grin stretched across the blonds' face, "That's because we don't. I made it up to preoccupy Kami-yan."

Aogami frowned a bit, "I thought another cute girl was going to transfer in… don't get my hopes up like that man. And what do you mean 'preoccupy' him?"

"Nya, he's our ticket to getting us out of class today."

Pierce just continued to give him a questioning look. Tsuchimikado quickly glanced around the room… his eyes didn't even stop on her. There was no way he couldn't have seen her! You're doing this on purpose you grinning bastard!

Apparently satisfied that no one else was in the room (much to Himegami's chagrin), Tsuchimikado began confiding his plan in his blue-hair friend.

"Ok, so I sent Kami-yan on a wild goose chase right? Well when Komoe-sensei asks about him, we'll be all like 'Ah that's strange, I thought I saw him with a girl in that one abandoned classroom~' and then she'll send us to go and bring him back. Once we find him for real we'll just ditch for awhile and then come back during the last ten minutes of class saying that we just now found him. And if anybody tries to stop us, we'll just say that Komoe-sensei sent us and they'll let us go! It's flawless!"

…What kind of half baked plan was that? There was no way that was going to work!

Pierce gave him a skeptical look of his own, "How do you know that Komoe's not going to just ask us where we saw him and send another teacher there to check?"

"I have prophetic visions of the future, and I saw that we'd be successful if we did it this way."

"Wha- Really?"

"No. C'mon, she's gonna be too flustered about Kami-yan to ask us something like that! What do we have to lose?"

"Hm, yea I guess. Sure, I'm in."

"Awesome. Just follow my lead and we'll be outta here in no time!"

The two of them sealed the deal with a quick brofist and shifted back to what they were talking about previously, which was apparently about "magical panties."

Unnoticed by the two, Himegami quietly left the classroom. She flicked open her cell phone and scrolled down her contacts until she came to "Kamijou Touma." She hesitated; this was the first time she had ever called him. She took a moment to silently curse the two idiots for ruining a potential romantic moment, then pushed the call button. She listened to the rings with baited breath, hoping that he would pick up…

But of course he didn't. Trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice, she left him a quick message warning him of his friend's treachery and went back into the room. She had done all that she could.

Hopefully it would be enough.

* * *

_**Yomikawa's Apartment**_

"Rise and shine, Accelerator!"

With no other warning, the bed sheets were suddenly ripped off of him. The lights flicked on a second later, effectively blinding him. His eyes slowly adjusted to reveal a grinning Yomikawa looming over him.

"Get the fuck outta my room!" Accelerator screamed.

"Sure thing." she responded. She walked out of the room and gave a thumbs up someone just outside of the doorway, "Looks like Accelerator needs your help, Last Order."

The energetic girl darted into the room and jumped on the bed, giggling all the way. She was already dressed in her own school uniform, giving her the appearance of a grade schooler.

"Get off of me or I'll fucking kill you!"

The threat fell on deaf ears, however, as Last Order continue to bounce around on his bed, "'Misaka will only leave once you start getting ready for school!' Misaka declares as Misaka resolutely carries out her duty!"

"You-!"

After about five minutes of scuffling, the two of them tumbled out onto the floor. Last Order wriggled her way out of his grasp and ran out the room. "'The mission was a success!' Misaka reports as Misaka enjoys herself immensely!"

Swearing profusely, Accelerator reached over for his bedside cane and carefully lifted himself up. He was going to _kill_ Yomikawa for this. Contemplating the various methods he could use for her brutal murder, Accelerator hobbled his way towards the shower. Once inside he found his own school uniform hanging neatly on the towel rack. A note was attached to it.

It read, 'Don't forget to wash behind your ears.'

What, did they think they were his parents now?

"Shitheads." he grunted.

He quickly stripped down and showered. Twenty minutes later he exited from the bathroom sporting a scowl and his new school attire. Yoshikawa glanced up from over her computer screen.

"Looks good on you, Accelerator."

"Fuck off."

He hobbled to the kitchen and got into the pantry. Due to his short scuffle with the brat, he had worked up quite an appetite. He was furious to find that that the only _good_ cereal that Yomikawa had to offer had gone missing.

"The fuck is this shit? It was still half full last night!"

"'Misaka is finishing them off,' Misaka responds while Misaka pours the rest of it into an extra large bowl."

He whirled around on the spot to find that Last Order was, in fact, pouring the rest of the box into a large cooking bowl. "The fuck do you think you're doing, you shitty brat! Don't go hogging all the food!"

Last Order simply got out the milk and started pouring it into the jumbo sized bowel, "'Finders keepers!' Misaka says matter-of-factly as Misaka gets out a spoon."

"You look here you little shit, I'm hungry and I'll be god _damned_ if I have to eat this old people 'Brand Oats' trash that Yomikawa buys!"

The comment earned him a death glare from the Anti-Skill manager, while Yoshikawa mumbled something about it being 'perfectly good breakfast food.' Not that he gave a damn.

Last Order, however, ignored his threats once again.

"'Silly Accelerator, Trix are for kids!' Misaka proclaims while Misaka imitates the commercial." With that, she plunged her spoon right in and brought a spoonful of the fruity breakfast food to her mouth.

But before she could take her first bite, the spoon was suddenly ripped out of her hand and flew over into Accelerator's mouth. The bowl immediately followed suit, putting itself down right onto the kitchen counter that was right in front of him. He flicked his choker back to 'normal' mode and took the spoon out of his mouth.

"Delicious." he said in the creepy voice that he usually reserved for crushing his foes.

"'W-Why would you do that?' Misaka asks as Misaka feigns innocence!"

"Because you were being a shitty brat."

"'That's not an answer!' Misaka yells as Misaka begins to throw a temper tantrum!"

"A shitty spoiled brat."

"'Accelerator~!' Misaka whines as Misaka begins pulling on your shirt!"

Accelerator ignored her as he continued munching on his cereal. What a stupid situation he had landed himself in. From being feared by all as the strongest to being harassed by a grade school brat. Not to mention being forced to attend some deadbeat school by a she-devil. It was ridiculous.

All because of that guy.

Accelerator scowled at that thought and began chewing with a vengeance. Screw whoever that guy was, it was a fluke that he had lost. He was just careless, that was all. If he ever saw him again, he would grind him to dust.

Yet even as he thought this, there was a part of him that hesitated. Not out of fear, but because somewhere deep inside of him he was truly grateful to the unknown boy. That guy was the hero who managed to end the nightmare.

And all by just swinging his fist around. That was perhaps the part that truly galled Accelerator. Even with all his power, he wasn't strong enough to end the experiment. He just went with it. He was the cowardly bastard who liked to make excuses, telling himself that he was just destroying dolls rather than killing people. But that guy… instead of looking the other way, he chose to confront the ugly truth head on, even though he wasn't involved with it to begin with. Accelerator was no shrink, but he knew enough about human psychology to know that what that boy had done was unprecedented. Even if it was to help a friend, to risk one's own life for something like that… it was beyond his comprehension.

But it seemed that whatever spurred the boy to do this had also rubbed off onto himself. As annoying as she was, he had, for some reason, decided to protect Last Order. He risked his life so that she and the remaining sisters would live, and got a good chunk of his frontal lobe destroyed for his trouble. And yet, he didn't really regret what he had done. He couldn't understand why, but there it was.

He would have continued to ponder the meaning behind his actions, but much to his annoyance, the insistent cries of the very person that he had decided to protect shattered his train of thought.

"'Accelerator!' Misaka-"

"Shut _up_ already!"

Accelerator rammed a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. That should keep her quiet for at least twenty seconds or so...

"'Mrff! Mirafa cfft fwlw fis!' Mifafa fess af Mifafa bfushfs."

Scowling, Accelerator slammed the bowl down and began to hobble away, leaving the rest to Last Order. "Tch. Enough of this shit. It tastes like ass anyways."

He made his way to the couch and flung himself on it. He couldn't believe he was sitting there thinking about something so stupid. It didn't matter. He had done what he had done because he had felt like it at the time. That was all.

"Fucking stupid." he mumbled into the pillow.

Today was going to be a shitty day, he could feel it.

* * *

_**Bullet Train Station**_

"What do you mean it's not working?"

"Sorry kid, the rails got fused together for some reason. It's closed till further notice."

Touma stared at the Judgment officer in dismay. His sure chance of getting to school on time had just been crushed before him. He was a fool to have believed that he had gotten a lucky break for once.

…wait a minute.

"They fused together? Isn't there a safeguard against that or something?"

The Judgment officer sighed, "Yea, there is. It's probably a pyrokinesis playing a prank or something. We'll catch them eventually, but for now I'm going to have to ask you to vacate the area immediately."

But Touma wasn't listening. A pyrokinesis…

"…You bastard."

"Pardon?"

"YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, YOU BASTARD!" Touma roared.

"W-what the hell is your problem kid?"

Touma ignored the man and began sprinting off towards his school, raging all the way. "YOU THINK THIS WILL STOP ME, STIYL? I'M GOING TO MAKE IT NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES, YOU ROTTEN SON OF A BITCH!"

The confused man stared after him, then shook his head. It was too early in the morning to be dealing with lunatics.

* * *

_**Somewhere in Academy City**_

Accelerator stared outside the window with a bored expression on his face. Last Order was bouncing around in the back of Yomikawa's car with him while the two older women were seated in the front.

"But really Accelerator, it's astounding that you managed to heal as quickly as you did. Even the head doctor was amazed!" Yoshikawa commented.

"Tch, what else did you expect? I'm the top esper. Nothing is out of my reach." Accelerator responded, still staring out the window.

"If you say so…"

Accelerator just made another annoyed grunt. Truth be told, he wasn't exactly sure how he had recovered so fast either. All that he knew was that shortly after destroying that pathetic teleporter girl, it had been much easier to move around, provided that he had his cane for support. His walking pace with the instrument had doubled overnight. Literally.

It had baffled the frog faced doctor. His only explanation was that using his power in a combat setting again had somehow retrained his brain to adapt with the damaged brain matter… though Accelerator could tell that he was simply making an educated guess.

But he honestly didn't give a damn. As long as he had regained greater control over his body, Accelerator couldn't care less what it was from.

Last Order apparently didn't care too much about such things either.

"'Accelerator, look at what Misaka drew!' Misaka demands as Misaka displays her artwork proudly."

Accelerator stared at the paper she was practically shoving into his face. It depicted a bright red school house, with a smiley faced sun just hovering over it. The background was mostly white, with only a few green-brown scribbles (which he assumed were trees) punctuating the colorless backdrop. A solid line of blue was at the very top of the picture, representing the sky.

The foreground showed four haphazardly drawn stick figures. The two tallest ones had blue hair, the first one in a ponytail and the other cropped at mid length. A slightly shorter stick figure with white hair was next to them, and was holding the hand of the smallest stick figure, which had brown hair respectively. They all had smiley face except for the white haired one, who had a decidedly grumpy looking face.

Accelerator's eye twitched. "The fuck is this?"

"'Can't you tell…?' Misaka asks as Misaka deflates slightly…"

Yoshikawa turned her head sideways and gave him a disapproving frown. He imagined she was thinking something like, 'Was that really necessary? She tried her best for you.' He shot her a look that said 'mind your own damn business' and looked back at the disappointed Last Order.

He grabbed the paper out of her hand and turned it slightly that they both could see.

"Of course I can tell what it is, but that doesn't mean it's good." He pointed at the background, "Look here, brat. Why would you leave this area blank and only color the very top blue? Does the sky have a big white space before it becomes blue in real life?"

"'Um, no…' Misaka answers as Misaka realizes her mistake."

"Of course not. You're supposed to color it all blue. Don't leave some half assed white space. And draw some damn clothes over the people; the two hags are hard to tell apart without it."

Last Order nodded, still looking a bit down.

"Tch, don't give that look you spoiled brat. If you're going to do something, you need to do it right. I won't accept anything less. I'm not like those two hags, letting you get away with some half assed drawing. The only way that's getting on my fridge is if it's done right."

Accelerator pushed the drawing back into her hands and stared out the window again.

"'Y-you'll hang Misaka's artwork on the refrigerator if Misaka does to the corrections?' Misaka asks as Misaka experiences a sudden feeling of hope."

"…maybe. But it better be damn good, you shitty little brat."

"'Misaka will show you that Misaka is worthy of your favor!' Misaka yells as Misaka takes your lesson to heart!" And with that, Last Order took out a few blue pencils from her pocket and began quickly coloring in the blank white space the same color as her pre-designated sky.

"Not here idiot, you'll tear the damn thing apart!"

The rest of the trip was spent keeping the impassioned girl from accidentally wrecking her own work.

* * *

Touma once again found himself racing through Academy City, this time heading directly for his school rather than the defunct bullet train. He had only twenty minutes to trek the distance of several city blocks. For a normal Academy City student, this would have been a near impossible feat, what with the amount of running that he had had to partake in earlier. But Touma was far from ordinary. His stamina for long distance running had become alarmingly high after years of running away from various gangs.

*growl*

But even Touma had his limits. He needed at least _some_ food on his stomach before running such a marathon. And having apparently lost his slice of bread along the way, he didn't even have anything to nibble on at the moment.

'Focus Touma! You're almost to the finish line!' he mentally scolded himself, 'You can eat later!'

He pushed himself to run faster even as his stomach screamed in protest. Nothing would get in his way. No matter what was going on, he wasn't going to stop-

"Damn man, that dorm is burning up!"

"Where's Judgment? There could be people still in there!"

"..." Touma slowed down and stared at the dorm complex to his left, which was quite obviously on fire. Had he been so preoccupied with his groaning stomach that he didn't even notice such a thing?

Touma quickly looked around. No Anti Skill. No Judgment. Nobody making a move to help with the situation.

Smoke poured from the entrance as the fire made its slow march up the interior.

Damn it.

He grit his teeth and faced the burning building. If nobody was going to do anything he would have to. A person's life was more important than his grades would ever be. Bracing himself mentally, he started towards the smoldering building.

But before he could take two steps forward, a white blur flashed next to him. A hand grasped his left shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. Touma looked over in surprise.

Standing next to him was a boy about his height. He wore all white, save for his t-shirt that displayed a red Rising Sun. A white jacket hung around his shoulders, giving it the appearance of a sort of makeshift cape. Black, somewhat spiky windswept hair fanned out over his white headband, matching the overall style of his attire.

"Uh?" Touma managed. He was sure that the boy hadn't been there a second ago…

But the mysterious man wasn't looking at him, but the fire in front of them. A heartbeat later he nodded, then glanced at Touma from the side.

He gave his shoulder a small, reassuring squeeze, "Stand back, I got this."

Before Touma could respond, the bizarre boy let go of him and jumped forward. He landed right next to the billowing flames that were slowly engulfing the exterior wall.

Pulling his arm back, he let forth out a mighty yell.

"AMAZING PUNCH!"

His fist shot forward and made contact with the flames…and they disappeared. Not just the flames in front of him, but the entire thing. It was as if a giant invisible broom had materialized and swept the fire out of existence.

Touma stared at the white-clad wonder as he turned around and yelled out to the stunned crowd. "Everything's alright now. Just let Judgment take care of it."

The crowd slowly dispersed, glancing backwards at the boy as they went about their business.

Touma's mind was still reeling. He had said to "let Judgment take care of it." However, he didn't see the tell-tale green band of Judgment around the boy's arm. And he definitely didn't look like he was a part of anti-skill.

But more importantly…

"Did…did you just punch out _fire_?"

The boy, who Touma decided to call "White" for the time being, looked over at him and grinned.

"Allow me to explain! By using the compounds in the… well we'll save that for another time. You're trying to get to school, right?"

Touma blinked in surprise. "Er yea, how did you- oh right, my uniform. If everything is alright here, I really need to get going…"

"I'll help you out then! I'll be able to get you to your destination in half the time!"

Touma opened his mouth, then closed it. He was a little taken aback by the sudden offer for help and didn't really know how to respond.

_'What's with this hot-blooded hero type character?'_

Then it all clicked. Why didn't he realize it sooner? Rule number one of Kamijou Touma's identification technique: If the person is strange looking or acting, then he must have known them before his memory wipe. Obviously, this was one of his past acquaintances. Why else would he have such a familiar attitude towards him? White wouldn't be offering to take him to school unless he knew who he was and where he attended. It's not like he had offered anybody else.

"Yea, that'd be great. I owe you one." he said casually. He had to play it cool till he figured out White's name, otherwise White might figure out about his memory loss.

Still, it was nice to know that he had such a reliable guy as a friend.

"Nonsense, you don't owe me anything!" White waved off. "Okay, I'll need you to stand right here."

White was pointing to an area about four meters to his left.

Touma tilted his head in confusion, but complied anyways. White nodded, then closed one eye and lifted his thumb into the air. His open eye focused on his lifted thumb. It was almost as if he was aiming at something in the air…

Apparently satisfied, White walked up to him until they were about an arms distance apart. "Alright, let's get this started. Sorry if you get a little wet."

…Wet? Why would he get wet?

That was when a something suddenly occurred to Touma;

White had never explained _how_ he'd help him get to school so fast.

Before he could react, White had already moved. His hands shot forward and grabbed Touma by the underarms, and in an inhuman display of strength, threw him ten meters into the air.

"WHA-?"

Flailing helplessly, his body flipped over in a lazy arc as it met the peak of the throw. He began his ungraceful decent with his head pointed towards the ground and his feet towards the sky. He couldn't see what White was doing since his face was pointed away from him, and was instead forced to watch in horror as he came crashing to the ground.

But right before he was about to crash, he heard White a meter behind him.

"K-STYLE: GALACTIC PUNT!"

His body was suddenly jerked upwards as a strange spinning force impacted the small of his back. Spinning out of control, Touma's body rocketed forward and up, sailing over the rooftops of Academy City at breakneck speeds.

"FUKOU DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

_**A Certain High School**_

Accelerator's group finally arrived at their destination. It was fifteen minutes till class started, but Yomikawa assured him that it was fine. They were apparently going to get a tour of the place first, then get introduced to their classroom after lunch break.

"Why aren't we in your class?" Accelerator asked as they headed for the teacher's lounge. He was surprised that Yomikawa hadn't tried to keep him under her supervision.

"It's school policy. If a student's guardian also happens to teach at the same school that the student attends, it is mandatory that they have different classes. It's meant to avoid favoritism." Yomikawa gave him a teasing grin, "I know it will be hard on you, being so far away from your Yomi-nee, but you'll have to bare with it Accelerator. I promise I'll be right here afterschool for you."

"As if I would want to be in your shitty class. Not having to hear your constant nagging all day? I could get used to something like this."

"About that, I'm going to have to ask you to keep foul language to a minimum while you're in school. Using powers during instruction time is also prohibited."

Accelerator only grunted in response, and they came to a stop outside to the teacher lounge. Yomikawa turned around and crossed her arms, staring at him and Last Order. "The room you're being assigned to isn't exactly strict on such things, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. But _try_ to behave. Regardless of what you might think, this could be a great opportunity for both of you to grow."

Last Order nodded enthusiastically. Accelerator just snorted in disbelief.

Yomikawa looked at him for a moment longer before continuing, "Well, me and Kikyou need to get to get going. Just wait in here until your aid comes to show you around. I'll see you after school."

With that, the two blue haired women split off in different directions. Yomikawa was going to her class to teach and Yoshikawa was taking the car so she could continue her job search. Accelerator and Last Order entered the lounge room to find it empty.

Last Order wasted no time in taking advantage of this, promptly flinging herself on one of the large couches and bouncing around. Accelerator didn't bother to stop her, opting to throw himself onto the other couch instead. He had hardly been in here for a five minutes and he was already sick of this dump of a school.

After about ten minutes of romping around, Last Order suddenly stopped, sitting straight up on the worn couch.

Accelerator picked up on the sudden change, and turned his head to look at her.

"What's wrong, brat?"

Last Order frowned, "'Misaka is getting a report from another Misaka. That Misaka claims that she saw another Misaka standing outside of the school, but could not make contact with said Misaka.' Misaka explains as Misaka lays out the situation."

"So what?"

"'The Misaka that is giving the report claims that when trying to greet the suspect Misaka physically, the Misaka in question ran off on her own. This is very strange behavior for Misaka.' Misaka informs as Misaka summarizes the report." Without any further explanation, Last Order hoped off the couch and went for the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Accelerator demanded.

Last Order turned around and gave him a reassuring smile, "'Misaka is going to meet up with the Misaka that gave the report. Misaka won't be far, as the rendezvous will take place at the front entrance.' Misaka explains as Misaka tries to quell your concerns."

He stared at her for a moment before finally relenting, "…just don't take all day."

Last Order nodded and left the lounge. Accelerator turned back over and stared unhappily at the ceiling. About five minutes later, the door creaked back open.

"Bout time you shitty-"

Accelerator halted midsentence as he started at the person standing in the doorway.

* * *

Soaking wet, Touma wearily jogged toward the entrance of his school, which was now only a few dozen meters away. He had landed on top of the roof of a fancy hotel, which just so happened to have a rooftop pool. The water had somewhat cushioned his fall, though it was really the sudden, inexplicable decrease in velocity about a minute earlier that allowed him to survive even that.

He had had to sneak his way out of the hotel from there, which was impossible due to his drenched attire. Luckily, nobody suspected him of trespassing… or maybe they were just too distracted by the wet mess he had made through the lobby. The worst part of it all was the fact that both his school books and his cell phone had been completely ruined by the sudden dip in the pool. He swore he was going to beat the snot out the mysterious White until he got back a total refund.

But he was going to make it. That was something, at least.

*growl*

Touma sighed. Now that he was definitely going to make it to school on time, his mind started to drift to other things. Namely how he would have to suffer through class until lunch break, which was four hours away.

"Fukou da…" he grumbled.

"Phftf, Mifafa sfts"

"?"

Touma's head snapped to the right. A girl with shoulder length brown hair and military goggles jogged beside him, holding a piece of toast in her mouth. A Misaka Imouto.

She motioned him to stop, and seeing how he was almost at the front entrance anyways, he obliged. The clone took the toast out of her mouth and held it out towards him. "'You lost this.' Misaka states while presenting her good nature."

"…Come again?"

The clone blinked then pointed at the toast with her free hand, "'Your bread. Misaka secured it earlier when you were experiencing difficulties, and is offering to return it.' Misaka explains quickly."

"My… wait, you mean that slice I was carrying around earlier? How did you-?"

"'Misaka captured it as it flew in the air from the collision.' Misaka reiterates."

Touma nodded slightly. So he had let the bread go when he ran into that girl from before… and the clone had managed to catch it before it hit the ground? He had a sudden image of a Misaka Imouto jumping in the air and catching the wayward food with her mouth…

"About that, why do you have it in your mouth…?"

"'Misaka was heating it by using Misaka's bioelectricity to emulate a toaster.' Misaka explains thoroughly."

"So you couldn't have done that without sticking it in your mouth…?"

"'…Affirmative.' Misaka confirms as she blatantly lies."

"…Uh huh… well whatever. I really needed something to eat." He took the warm bread out of her hands and began munching on it, "Thanks a lot Misaka Imouto, you're a life saver."

"'Misaka would argue that you are a much better life saver then she is.' Misaka points out."

Touma grinned sheepishly, "Er well, it was a figure of- never mind. Well I need to get to school, so I'll see you around. Thanks again!"

He waved and walked through the entrance. He didn't notice the blush of the Misaka clone as he left, nor did he see her mouthing the words "indirect kiss."

He instead ran right into a blue haired woman wearing a lab coat. For the second time that day he fell, only this time landing on top of the woman rather than on his side.

"Sorry!" he yelped, hastily jumping off of her. He hesitated, then offered her a hand up.

"No problem, no problem." she replied, accepting the out stretched hand and using it to lift herself up. She gave him a small, bemused smile as she went to pat herself off, "Though, I do wonder why you're uniform is soaked. You managed to get me all wet so early in the morning…"

Touma choked at the poor choice of words. The angry whispers of passing students filled the air.

"He managed to bag an older professional type? Isn't that impossible?"

"If it's him, nothing is impossible."

"How does he do it?"

"To announce it so openly…"

"Unbelievable."

The woman seemed completely oblivious to the insinuations. She suddenly frowned and peered closer at him, forcing him to take a step back.

"Uh?"

"…have we met before?" she asked without preamble.

"Um, I'm not sure? I… I don't have the best memory…"

She didn't respond to this, except to continue studying his face. It was rather unnerving. He coughed awkwardly and looked away, letting his eyes wander across the wall until they rested on the clock that was perched there.

With a start he realized that he only had five minutes left.

"Crap, I need to find that transfer kid. Sorry, but I got to go!" With that he took off for the front office, leaving the mysterious girl gazing after him.

Quickly finishing the rest of his toast, he walked into the front office. The staff member at the front desk looked up from her screen lazily, then stiffened. Touma decided to make the first move, "Uh, I'm supposed to be escorting a transfer student around…?"

"O-Oh yes. I didn't know that y-you were the one- I mean, they should be in the t-teacher's lounge…" she stammered.

Touma cocked an eyebrow at her flustered demeanor, but decided to ignore it. She was probably embarrassed because he had caught her slacking off. "Oh I see. Thanks."

"A-anytime…" she said breathlessly.

Giving her an encouraging smile, he left the office and headed for the teacher's break room. He heard some people talking about a grade schooler roaming the halls, but dismissed it as somebody overreacting to Komoe-sensei again. After a few minutes, he was standing in front of the door of the teacher's lounge. He hesitated a little, then reached over and turned the knob.

The room was empty, save for a lone boy resting on a couch.

"Bout time you shitty-" the boy began, then stopped.

Touma froze, staring wide-eyed at the person before him. White hair. Red eyes. Pale skin. An ever present scowl. There was no mistaking it.

"**You…**" the boy growled, forcing himself upright.

Accelerator was the new transfer student.

* * *

**Author's Note: **This chapter was a gigantic pain in the ass. Too many perspective changes. Ugh. I was initially going to have this chapter cover to the point where the bros inevitably wreck the school, but decided against it. That will be next chapter.

It will take a few chapters until Accelerator becomes "bro" enough towards the group. Once that happens, this story will become very, **very** silly. And yes, Pierce's rant about magical panties is extremely important to the plot.


	3. Chapter 2: First Impressions

Meant to get this chapter up sooner. Oh well. Enjoy.

* * *

.

**Chapter 2: First Impressions**

.

* * *

_**The Teacher's Lounge**_

Accelerator stared at the boy standing in the door way.

The hero. The one who had defeated him was once again before him.

Why?

"What in the _**fuck**_ are you doing here?" Accelerator demanded.

The boy stared for a moment before slowly responding, "I'm supposed to be escorting a transfer student around campus… and it looks like you're him."

"You… what in the fuck are you trying to play at?" he snarled. "Like I would ever need your fucking help for anything!"

He lifted his hand halfway towards his neck… then stopped. The boy had mimicked him, placing his hand in front of him like a shield. Time slowed to a crawl as his own outstretched limb twitched in indecision.

Why was he hesitating?

As if on cue, a tiny, angelic looking Last Order appeared on his right shoulder, sporting a pair of miniature wings and a taped-on halo. The manifested consciousness turned its virtuous gaze towards him and spoke,

"'_He helped to end our suffering. Harming him would only reopen old wounds.' Misaka says as Misaka attempts to sooth your anger."_

Accelerator lowered his hand by a fraction before a sudden burst of flame caught his attention. Another shitty brat was sitting on his left shoulder, only this one had horns and a devil's tail.

The new addition grinned menacingly and whispered into his ear, _**"'You are Accelerator, the demon of Academy City. You crush all who oppose you without mercy. Feast upon this fool's flesh and regain your rightful place as the strongest!' Misaka demands as Misaka attempts to sway you from the righteous path!"**_

Frowning, the angelic Last Order clasped her hands together as if in prayer, _"'Accelerator is better than that. He is a changed man.' Misaka claims as Misaka puts her faith in her guardian's good nature."_

"'_**BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!-'**_

The two apparitions continued to bicker with each other. Accelerator chose to ignore them in order to preserve what little sanity he had left.

His hand still hung in the air. He and the hero stared at each other in tense silence.

After what felt like eternity, the hated one finally spoke;

"Look, it's not like I volunteered to do this. I'm just as surprised as you are. But regardless, I have to show you around school today."

The boy began lowering his hand, still looking him right in the eye as he spoke, "Instead of making this a bigger deal then what it actually is, why don't we just both try to get this done as fast as possible so that we won't have to see each other again, ok?"

Accelerator gnashed his teeth, racked with indecision. One side of him was truly taking what the boy had said to heart… the other side of him was determining if he could turn on esper mode and get in a kill shot before the boy had time to react.

Why would the hero not immediately try to stop him anyways? Wasn't it that guy's duty to try to stop villains such as himself, and for him to do the same? Wasn't that how their respective roles were supposed to play out? What was with this guy, messing up the natural order of things?

Did he have some sort of rule that he only fought if he was attacked first? But that couldn't be it, otherwise he wouldn't have tried to stop the experiment in the first place. So then why did he not try to stop the demonic top esper again?

Why was that guy so accepting of such a ridiculous situation?

He should kill him. That was his assigned role, to play as the villain. It wasn't his fault that the hero half assed his own role.

He should…

Yomikawa's voice suddenly echoed through his ears;

'…_try to behave…'_

…Fuckin' old bat. Since when did he start giving a damn what other's wanted? He was Accelerator, he did whatever he damn well pleased!

Despite that, he let his hand drop back down onto the couch, then grabbed his cane with it. He hoisted himself up, and walked slowly towards the hero. "This better be fast, or else I'm going to give you a new fuckin' mouth to preach with."

The hero slumped slightly out of what he could only guess was relief. He still maintained his guard however, even as he motioned to follow him. As expected of his nemesis.

Just because Accelerator had decided not to kill the hero right there, didn't mean he wasn't going to later.

* * *

_**Komoe's Classroom**_

"Today we'll continue with our lesson on the laws of thermodynamics." Komoe stated as she got on top of her usual chair. "I trust that you all read the first part of chapter eleven, right?"

"Ahhh I must have forgot~!" Pierce called in a sing-song manner. He was easily the loudest response.

"Pierce-chan, how can you forget so often? What am I going to do with you…"

"Ah~ I'm really sorry sensei~!" Pierce yelled with joy. It was quite obvious that he was enjoying the scolding.

"Mmm just try harder next time." Komoe sighed. Then her head perked up as she noticed that the seat next to Pierce was empty, "Where's Kamijou-chan?"

"Nya, that's weird, I was pretty sure I saw Kami-yan in one of those abandoned classrooms with a girl this morning…" Tsuchimikado spoke up.

"Yea, Kami-yan was here really early this morning. Maybe he got lucky…?" Pierce followed up.

Komoe nearly fell off the seat she was standing on, "W-w-w-w-what? W-what was he doing with a girl so early in the morning?"

The classroom was thrown into pandemonium.

"Damn it, another one?"

"To go that far in a school setting…"

"No, they're making it up. Tsuchimikado tricked-"

"Kamijou, you bastard!"

"You're just upset because he didn't pick you."

"Sh-Shut up!"

"No, I'm telling you that he got tricked into-"

"Kamijou really did this time, neh?

"That guy is a monster! A plague on mankind!"

"Why won't you people listen to me…"

"Q-quiet down everyone! I-I'm sure there's a good reason for all this!" Komoe yelled over the uproar. The class grudgingly quieted down, and Komoe turned to the two sources of the outburst, "Pierce-chan, Tsuchimikado-chan, you saw him right? Bring him back at once!"

"Nya, will do!"

"Anything for you, Sensei!"

The two boys promptly left the room. Himegami face palmed.

Once outside, the devious duo glanced at each other with barely contained laughter.

"Kami-yan. _Lucky_."

"Good one!"

The two laughed uproariously as they strolled down the hall.

* * *

_**In a Certain Parking Lot**_

Something was eating at Yoshikawa. The boy she had run into earlier seemed far too familiar to her, considering how rarely she interacted with people of his age group. So why did he give her such a sense of foreboding?

She made her way uneasily to Yomikawa's car and climbed inside. But instead of starting the vehicle, she reached for her laptop.

The blue-haired scientist flipped open the device and stared lost in thought at the start up screen. She tried to recall the boys' features. Standard school uniform, average height, looked like he was in relatively good shape… nothing that really stood out. The only notable feature was his spiky black hair…

…wait.

Alarm bells went off in her head. Yoshikawa began rapidly tapping in commands on her laptop, undoing the locks she had placed around her most sensitive files. A few seconds later, she was browsing an array of gruesome videos labeled only "Level 6 Shift." Finding the last video, she hit the play button, praying that she was wrong.

The industrial zone of Academy City popped up onto the screen. She began to fast forward, skipping past the arrival of Accelerator and the Misaka clone and the beginning of the fight. She slowed it down as she got to the part were Accelerator stood victorious over the clone's body, about to deal the final blow.

'_Get away from her!'_ an all too similar voice yelled out. A boy with spiky black hair emerged, confronting Accelerator. No mistaking it; it was the same person she had bumped into earlier.

…hadn't he said that he had to help out a transfer student today?

Oh _hell_.

Yoshikawa jumped out of the car, running back to the school as fast as her legs could carry her. Which in all honesty wasn't very fast. She was a researcher, not a marathon runner.

Her analytic mind raced even as she cursed her lack of athletic ability. There was no way that she would be able to stop Accelerator if he decided to go on a rampage. Not even that boy could stop the collateral damage that Accelerator could inflict. She would have to get to Last Order and force her to turn off the Network. But if she was with Accelerator, wouldn't she turn him off anyways if she saw that things were going to turn out? Yes… maybe Last Order had already taken care of things. She certainly hoped so…

Then Yoshikawa beheld something that dashed that hope completely. Last Order was standing right outside of the building chatting with another Misaka clone.

She wasn't with Accelerator.

* * *

_**In the Hallways (Touma and Accelerator)**_

Accelerator angrily marched next to said spiky haired boy, lost in thought. He was focused on nothing else other then the return of the hero. The fact that Last Order was not with him didn't even register.

He couldn't stand being near the guy. He so dearly wanted to crush him…

"'_**Yes, make him beg for mercy Accelerator! Make him squeal like the filthy pig that he is!' Misaka whispers as Misaka urges you to take action!"**_

…but another part of him couldn't go through with it. Deep down, so deep that even he didn't realize it, he was actually happy. Was payback really necessary? Why couldn't he just move on?

"'_Accelerator is kind deep down. You are above such things as payback.' Misaka says quietly as Misaka reaffirms her guardian's good nature."_

It was accurate to say that Accelerator at this point was like a wobbly metal plate balanced on top of a fence. Even the slightest push would send him over the edge, for good or for worse. Last Order would have been all the push he needed to stay dormant, had she been there. But on the flip side, there had not been anything to push him in the other direction either.

And so he remained in this chaotic state of indecisiveness, his inner mind a stalemate.

"Uhhh… you okay? You look kind of zoned out…" the hero suddenly interjected.

"Shut the fuck up and mind your own business!" Accelerator blurted out of reflex.

The boy looked at him nervously, then shook his head, "Never mind then… anyways, this is-"

But Accelerator wasn't listening. The war taking place inside of him demanded his attention, and thus the delicate balance remained intact.

For now…

* * *

_**In the Hallways (Pierce and Tsuchimikado)**_

"…but seriously man, good call." Pierce finally managed after they had calmed down a bit.

"Nya, I told you."

"So what do we do now?"

"Well we need to find Kami-yan first. Don't want him running into Komoe-sensei."

"Yea, I hear you. Hold on, I'll give him a call."

Pierce flipped open his phone and dialed Touma's number. A few seconds later he made an annoyed face and flipped it shut again. "He's not answering. I think he turned his phone off. What do we do now?"

Tsuchimikado frowned. "Looks like we'll have to look for him for real. He's probably at the front office anyway. Let's go."

They descended the staircase and began making their way to the front of the school in silence.

Suddenly, Tsuchimikado spoke up, "What color panties do you prefer?"

"Well… a true man loves all kinds of panties… but I'd have to go with striped."

"'Striped' isn't a color, Pierce."

"Blue and white stripes."

"Pfft, just like those 'magical panties' this morning, right?"

"Shut up! What's your favorite then, granny panties?"

"Mine is lacy red." Tsuchimikado announced proudly.

"Ha, should've known you would pick something so boring."

"They are not boring! And they're a lot better than your generic striped panties! You just can't comprehend its classical appeal!"

"It's you that can't comprehend! They aren't generic, they're iconic! But it's not like _you_ could ever understand, striped panties are only loved by _mature_ people with _refined_tastes!"

"Iconic? Refined? Are you joking? Stripes are for man-children! Red is clearly the way to go!"

"You take that back you son of a bitch!"

The two stopped and began rolling up their sleeves in preparation for an all out brawl. It was then that they heard a muffled, yet very familiar voice coming from the P.E locker room.

Forgetting their earlier argument, the two snuck over and pressed their ears against the door.

"….new set of clothes…"

"…you're fault I ended up this way…"

Touma was in there, and he obviously wasn't alone. Judging from the higher pitch, the other voice had to belong to…

"Dude, I think he really_ is_ with a girl!"

"That bastard, no wonder his phone was turned off!"

The two irate idiots looked at each other, communicating wordlessly. Nodding in unison, they barged into the locker room to witness the spectacle firsthand.

Pierce led the charge, "Damn it Kami-yan, you seduced another girl already? And in the locker room too?"

The accusation died in his throat as he and Tsuchimikado beheld the scene before them.

* * *

_**Just Outside of A Certain High School**_

Last Order stood in front the Misaka clone who had reported the suspect behavior of a fellow Sister.

"'Misaka wishes to inquire as to why the administrator would force a physical rendezvous when a more efficient method is available.' Misaka asks while calmly reminding the administrator of the network capabilities."

Last order puffed out her cheeks, "'Misaka feels that physical interaction is important!' Misaka responds while Misaka expresses annoyance at her underling's questioning!"

"'Misaka suspects that the administrator wanted to flaunt her importance to this Misaka.' Misaka accuses as she eggs the administrator on for her amusement."

"'M-Misaka would never do something like that!' Misaka denies as Misaka tries to conceal her vanity!"

The clone gave the barest hints of a smirk before continuing her sharp-tongued commentary, "'Misaka finds it sad that the administrator displays such childish traits.' Misaka says while she secretly laughs at the administrator's insecurities."

Last Order began stamping her feet into the ground, "'M-Misaka is tired of your baseless accusations!' Misaka yells in irritation as Misaka takes offense to being called childish!"

"'If Misaka's accusations were baseless, then why is the administrator becoming so worked up about it?' Misaka inquires as she thoroughly enjoys herself."

"'Hauuu! Enough of this! Misaka wants to hear the report firsthand!' Misaka demands as Misaka attempts to bring the conversation back to its original topic."

"'Misaka insists that the administrator watches the video feed so that Misaka can avoid recounting the same story for a third time.' Misaka puts forth as she stands her ground."

Last Order finally relented after a brief stare off, and began uploading the data.

* * *

**[Memory Synchronization of MISAKA Serial Number 12951 to SysAdmin MISAKA Serial Number 20001 Initializing]**

Misaka 12951 was on her first patrol since rehabilitation. The frog faced doctor had admitted the Sisters (except for Misaka 10032, who required further medical treatment) from the hospital two days prior, with the order to return twice a week for check up.

12951 looked around as she slowly made her way through the somewhat busy streets of Section 7. Technically, Section 7 was not under her assigned patrol, but seeing as 10032 was still in the hospital, 12951 had taken it upon herself to cover 10032's duties until her release.

Not that she minded. 12951 found that rehabilitation had left her with a much greater understanding of her own emotions than before, and realized that she rather enjoyed taking walks through the technological metropolis. It was… nice was not an adequate word. She quickly surfed through her vocabulary banks, picking out the descriptions that best fit her feelings toward patrol duty.

Fun, exciting, surprising, entertaining, enjoyable, peaceful, soothing, refreshing, rejuvenating, pleasing, lovely, thrilling, and beautiful. Yes, walking through Academy City was all of those, simultaneously. She was amazed at how much she had missed it.

Of course, 12951 had an ulterior motive for taking on 10032's duties. It just so happened that Section 7 was where a certain unfortunate individual resided. Looking to take advantage of this, she secretly hoped that she would be able to meet with the Savior personally during her rounds. If all went well, she might be able to gain a head start on the battle for the boy's heart.

A small smile formed on her face and her heartbeat became slightly elevated. Such was the effect that Kamijou Touma had on the Misaka imoutos.

Partaking in a brief mental exercise called "daydreaming" Misaka 12951 began imagining the various possible conversations that she could have with her object of affection. To the average person, this was nothing special. But to the Sisters, a game of imagination that was not focused entirely on combat situations was something both new and wonderful. It was a testament to how their life had changed since his intervention.

She made her way along one of the high schools of Section 7. Still caught in her fantasizing, it wasn't until she was within shouting range that she became alerted to a very familiar electronic signature to her left. Misaka 12951 looked over to see another Misaka imouto standing in front of the school building.

Why would another Sister be in her patrol area? Had she wandered off by accident?

Then another idea came to 12951; was this Sister maneuvering to sabotage her superior patrol position by trying to find the Savior first? It made sense, staking out schools. The Savior _was_ a high school student after all, and learning which school he attended would be extremely advantageous…

Unacceptable. She could not allow herself to be outmaneuvered like this.

12951 quickly sent a mental message through the Misaka Network, demanding that the interloper return to her route at once… only to get an error message. The Sister had apparently disconnected herself from the Network. Most likely to hide her activities.

Undaunted, 12951 quickly made her way towards the rouge clone. As she came within speaking distance, she noticed for the first time that the Sister was speaking. 12951 stopped short and watched curiously as her target stared off in a daze, muttering the words "indirect kiss" repeatedly.

After about a minute of this, 12951 decided to make her move.

"'Misaka would like to inquire as to what you are-'"

Whirling on the spot, the wayward Misaka imouto stared in alarm at 12951. Her face was surprisingly animated for a clone. "'Misaka has been spotted! Misaka will now make her exit at once!' Misaka crys as she makes a tactical retreat!"

Without hesitating a second, the panicking clone sprinted towards the track field. 12951 tried to run after her, but was amazed to find that she was easily out stripped by her Sister. The mysterious clone vaulted over the bordering fence with ease, disappearing over the edge.

12951 immediately opened broadcasts to the entire Network, demanding a roll call. To her astonishment, all checked out. Every Sister in the Network was accounted for. None of them were anywhere close to her location.

But then, who had just run from her?

**[End of Memory Feed]**

* * *

Last Order came back to her own world as 12951's world slowly faded out. She frowned in thought. "'If all Misaka's were accounted for, then it couldn't have been a Sister.' Misaka says as Misaka deduces the obvious."

"'Misaka agrees with your assumption… however Misaka is unable to think of any suspects that would fit the parameters.' Misaka states as she presents the dilemma."

Last Order adopted a thinking pose, "'Could it have been Onee-sama?' Misaka asks as Misaka thinks of a solution."

12951 shook her head, "'Onee-sama was spotted earlier, abusing her powers on a girl with pigtails.' Misaka replies as she shoots down the explanation."

"'A shape shifter then?' Misaka presents as Misaka tries a new line of thought."

The clone shook her head again, "'AIM signature was identical to our own. Even if another electromaster was somehow capable of disguising themselves as a Sister, their AIM field would still differ from our own.' Misaka continues as she shoots down the other popular solution."

Last Order scratched her head in frustration, "'This is very strange… oh, oh! Misaka has figured it out!' Misaka proclaims as Misaka suddenly makes sense of everything!"

12951 widened her eyes slightly and signaled her to continue.

"'Thanks to Misaka's adventures in the world of gaming, Misaka has come to the conclusion that the culprit is obvious… a Ditto!' Misaka concludes as Misaka puffs out her chest in pride!"

"'…A what?' Misaka asks as she doesn't understand."

"'A Ditto! Misaka had the opportunity of playing pokemon during Misaka's stay at the hospital, and Misaka clearly remembers the ditto pokedex entry! It is said that it can copy the DNA from any living organism and copy it completely, even down to their abilities! So in that regard, Misaka deduces that it would have an identical AIM field as Misaka if it copied her! Too think Academy City is secretly breeding these… it is truly a marvel of science!' Misaka yells excitedly as Misaka shares her vast knowledge with her underlings!"

12951 didn't seem too impressed with her analysis, "'…To think this idiot is the head of the Network… how embarrassing…' Misaka says as she hangs her head in shame."

Before Last Order could respond, a familiar voice rang out,

"Last Order!"

The two clones turned and regarded the person running towards them.

It was Yoshikawa, but not the normal Yoshikawa that Last Order knew. Something was off. The normally calm female scientist had a look of urgency on her face, and was trying to yell something to her between breaths.

But before she could ask the disheveled woman what was wrong, both Misaka's were thrown to the ground as a small explosion came from behind. Disorientated, Last Order looked back over her shoulder.

The school entrance was completely blocked off with debris.

* * *

_**In the Hallways**_

Touma nervously walked along side of the world's most powerful esper, showing him the various need-to-know locations of his high school. He had been careful to make sure that the psychopath was always to his right, so that he would be able to quickly react to any of Accelerator's sudden murderous impulses. He was amazed to find that he had yet to utilize such a defensive measure yet.

All things considered, he supposed that things could be going much, _much_ worst, given the situation. The sheer fact that Accelerator hadn't immediately started attacking him was a miracle in itself.

Still, it was painfully obvious that Accelerator not on good turns with him.

"I know that the locker room is here, it's fucking obvious! What else would be next to the gym you fucking retard! Do you think this is funny or something?"

"…Accelerator, I don't like this either. I would give just about anything to be somewhere else right now. But I _can't_. I _have_ to show you everything. Trust me when I say that I'm going as fast as I can. But if you keep slowing us down-"

Accelerator whirled around, shooting him a look that could kill, "You got a problem with my pace, fuckhead? You want me to show you just how _fast _I can go?"

Touma winced on the inside. Accelerator must have thought he was making fun of his slower walking pace or something. "I'm talking about your attitude. If you would just say 'okay' to the stuff I tell you, we could move on and get done. Instead, you keep taking offense to every damn thing I say, and I have to spend time explaining myself. I'm not trying to make fun of you, so let's just get this done and go."

"Don't give that patronizing tone you ass licker, you think I'm just going to let you walk all over me? Just say 'okay' to whatever you tell me? Go fuck yourself. I've never taken shit from _anybody_, and I ain't about to start taking it from you."

Touma repressed the urge to punch his face in. He couldn't, not in this environment. Too many people could get hurt if Accelerator decided to go ballistic. Plus, he wasn't very sure of his chances of winning a second time against him, especially so in a confined place like this.

Summoning all his patients, he attempted to reason with the deranged man yet again, "Look, we're almost done. All I have to do is show you the locker room and your class. Ignore me, I don't care, would you just _please_ cooperate so that we can get done?"

Accelerator just made an agitated noise and started hobbling towards the locker room door. Touma ignored the part of him that screamed not to follow, and went in after him.

It was just a regular boys locker room. Touma took the initiative once again, "This is the locker room-"

"I know it's the fucking locker room, I just fucking said that!"

"…this is where you get changed into your PE clothes. You should have your own assigned locker… oh you've got to be kidding me."

Accelerator's locker was right next to his. So much for his plan to avoid him from now on.

"Fukou da… your locker is right there, next to mine…" he mumbled in resignation.

"You mean I have to spend my fucking-"

"Yes Accelerator," he cut in, "It means we'll have to see each other every day from now on. If you want to be moved, take it up with the teachers. I know I will. Anyways, you should have your own PE clothes and spare uniform in your locker. Make sure that they're the right size."

Turning towards the outside exit, Touma continued on with his short tour, "When you get dressed, you go out that door. It leads outside. We usually run laps or-"

"What the fuck is this?"

Halting mid-explanation, Touma turned to see Accelerator holding his P.E. and extra school uniform in his left hand. Unfortunately for him, and by proxy Touma, there had apparently been a mistake in the ordering of his dress attire, as both of the uniforms that he held were clearly meant for a girl.

A mistake that a certain androgynous albino did not take kindly to.

"You! You motherfucker! What the fuck do you think you're trying to pull?" the irate esper screamed, hurling the feminine clothing at the pitiful boy, "It's not enough that you beat me before, now you're trying to parade me around like a fuckin' trophy? YOU THINK YOU CAN HUMILIATE ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH?"

"J-Just calm down! I didn't know, I swear! We'll get you a new set of clothes, just don't do anything stupid!" the misfortunate boy sputtered in an effort to pacify the raging Level 5. However, he couldn't convey this properly as most of his message was rendered incoherent by the skirt Accelerator had flung at him, which was now hopelessly entangled in his hair and face. As such, Accelerator only caught a portion of what he said, and in his rage managed to misinterpret its contents severely.

"YOU CALLING ME STUPID?"

"What? No! I just don't want you to do anything rashly!" Touma desperately tried to explain, waving his arms up and down and stumbling about half blind as he tried to express his intentions.

But to Accelerator, this looked like he was mocking him for having to use a cane to move around.

"YOU BASTARD, IT'S YOUR FAULT I EVEN ENDED UP THIS WAY, TRYING TO ACT LIKE A BIG FUCKING HERO!"

"What are you talking about? Stop misunderstanding everything I say!"

It was at that point, just he managed to remove the stubborn clothing from covering his mouth, that Touma's chronic bad luck met its daily peak.

In the middle of the (one-sided) screaming match, neither of the two boys had heard the door of the locker room open, nor the two pairs of footsteps that accompanied it. As such, both were equally caught off guard when a familiar, annoyed voice rang out.

"Damn it Kami-yan, you seduced another girl already? And in the locker room too?" Pierce demanded as he and Tsuchimikado barged in. The duo stopped abruptly as they beheld the scene before them; Touma, with a girl's skirt still covering half his face, stood three meters away from an extremely pale, extremely angry-looking white haired boy who was waving around a cane. A look of confusion, surprise, and in Tsuchimikado's case, familiarity played across their normally grinning faces.

Time seemed to stand still as a brief silence washed over the four boys. The sudden intrusion halted the escalading argument in its tracks; an unknown tension seemingly removing their ability to speak. Looking curiously towards Touma, the two interlopers wordlessly asked for an explanation, which was in turn met with a bewildered, frantic expression.

The silence was broken by Accelerator, who slowly began to laugh. Pierce began to chuckle slowly in return, under the impression that the ominous feeling of oppression had been broken. Tsuchimikado stomped on his foot, quelling his blue haired friend instantly as he subtly signaled to move closer towards the door.

Unabashed, Accelerator continued to laugh, his body stooped over his cane and his face lowered so that his hair hid its features. Ten seconds later he lifted his head again, his laughter not reaching his cold, slightly erratic eyes.

"So, I'm a girl, huh?"

It was a rhetorical question. One that expected no response.

So of course, being the idiot that he was, Pierce decided to respond.

"Well, your hair _is_ kinda long…."

It could be that he wasn't aware of the ominous aura coming from Accelerator.

It was possible that he didn't think a frail-looking, crippled albino could do him any harm.

Maybe his brain had been horribly addled by the numerous eroges that he played.

Or perhaps he was simply an imbecile of truly epic proportions. Why Aogami Pierce would say this in such an obviously dangerous situation is a truly a mystery.

Whatever the reason, this comment seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Accelerator's face contorted in murderous rage as he threw aside his cane and reached for the choker that clung to his neck. Flipping the switch that would temporarily grant him his former power, he thrust his free hand at the fool who had dared to mock him. A loud bang resounded as air was violently compressed and redirected, racing from his finger tips towards the blue haired boy.

But Touma was faster. Leaping between his two fellow idiots and the monstrous Level 5, he brought his right hand before him and intercepted the invisible attack with his Imagine Breaker. The familiar sound of deflation met his ears as his mysterious power unraveled the supernatural assault.

His mind raced as he desperately searched for a way out of the bizarre situation. His first thought was to try and take out Accelerator right then and there… an idea that was almost immediately discarded. While he wasn't exactly a scholar, he was by no means stupid. Trying to fight Accelerator in a cramped area with little to no room to maneuver was suicide (well, more suicide then normal anyways). One good hit from the many large, heavy objects that littered the locker room could mean the end for him. It wasn't like his hand could dispel momentum after all. And even if he could successfully dodge the various potential projectiles, they could easily end up hitting his two friends instead.

Fighting in the locker room simply wasn't an option. Which left him with only one viable course of action: Tactical Retreat.

In other words, getting the hell out of the locker room.

"RUN!" he yelled, turning toward the entrance and praying that the other two would react in enough time to follow him.

As it turned out, both Pierce and Tsuchimikado had plenty of time, as they were, in fact, way ahead of him. Touma only just caught a glimpse of blue and yellow darting out of the still open entrance.

"H-Hey!"

Touma dove out of the still-open doorway, a chunk of warped metal grazing the tips of his spiky hair as it imbedded itself into the wall. Landing in the hallway, he rolled forward, launching from the ground and immediately cutting to his left. He planned to run to the school entrance and lure Accelerator, who was almost certain to pursue him, outside of the campus. This way, the rest of the school wouldn't get involved with their inevitable fight.

Unfortunately for Pierce and Tsuchimikado, they had also made the choice of escaping down the left side rather than right.

"Nya, go away Kami-yan!" Tsuchimikado yelled as the three of them sprinted down the hall.

"Yea, we don't want caught up in your lover's quarrel!"

"You go away! I'm trying to get him out of the school before he kills somebody! And he's a guy, you idiot!" Touma yelled back as they made another turn to the left.

"W-Why would you be recruiting a trap? Are you trying to add a homosexual route to your harem this early in the game? Even for you, that's a bit too ambitious Kami-yan! You need to fill out your base set before moving on to that kind of advanced play, or else you're going to get a bad end!"

"What in the living hell are you talking about?"

The entrance was straight ahead now, only fifteen meters to go. Touma quickly glanced behind him. There was nothing there, only an empty hall.

Why wasn't Accelerator following them?

His question was immediately answered as the left wall ahead of them suddenly exploded. The force of the shockwave knocked the three of them to the ground, their bodies mercilessly pelted with bits of wall plaster and brick. Recovering quickly as his survival instinct took over, Touma sprang to his feet even as he continued to shield his body from the raining debris. He frantically scanned the area, trying to shake the crippling sense of disorientation from their minds.

Accelerator stood in front of them, a psychotic grin spreading across his face.

"And where do you think you're going?"

There goes the school exit plan…

"Look Accelerator," Touma began, trying to buy his two friends enough time to escape, "You can't hold it against Aogami, he's not right in the head! If…if you really want to fight somebody, fight me instead! Let's do it outside away from oth-!"

"Thanks Kami-yan, we owe you!"

"Way to take one for the team!"

Touma stumbled and fell as two sets of hands pushed him forward. He whipped his head around to see the retreating backs of Tsuchimikado and Pierce.

"WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU?"

"…heh. Looks like it's only the two of us now, hero."

Touma looked back at the crazed esper pleadingly, "Like I said, why don't we take this somewhere-?"

Accelerator ignored him, instead gathering the debris that littered the ground and firing it directly at his still kneeling position. Touma pushed backwards with all the strength he could muster, just barely dodging the rain of death. He landed in a sitting position, and quickly sprang to his feet .

Accelerator laughed, shooting another torrent of floor fragments at him. He was toying with him.

Touma twisted and jumped to his right. Chunks of concrete and brick grazed against his side, ripping his uniform apart and tearing against his skin. He stumbled, but managed to stay on his feet as he landed.

Touma didn't waste time looking at his side. Even with the skirt (which was still wrapped around his head) continuing to hamper his peripheral vision, he knew it wasn't serious. He could barely feel anything at all, due to the adrenaline pumping through him. What was important was luring Accelerator away from the school.

This was as much of a survival measure as it was a selfless one. Because it was obvious that he wasn't going to be able to win like this. They both knew it. Accelerator had too much of an advantage in confined spaces. The only way he would even have a shot against Accelerator was if he was in a more wide open area, able to move around freely to dodge if necessary.

So that was why as immediately turned and sprinted back down the hall once he had made his landing. He relied on pure memory to guide him as he craned his neck to keep his eye on Accelerator. Losing sight of him would be fatal.

He hoped to run back to the locker room and out the door to the school's athletic field. It wasn't the greatest area for something like this, but he wasn't feeling too picky at the moment.

Accelerator seemed to have anticipated this though. Trying to round the corner to get to the locker room, Touma was forced to dodge out of way as Accelerator shot the remaining amount of the scattered debris to his right. His momentum carried him past the now wrecked hallway entrance, and he was forced to keep running that direction as Accelerator began taking off after him.

Accelerator threw out his hand, shooting another compressed "bullet" of air at him. As if on instinct, he twisted his body, swatted the blast out of the air, and continued running in one fluid motion. Under a different circumstance, he would be questioning how such a feat felt so natural to him.

Multiple loud bangs resounded, and he dodged and blocked as he went. The dodged shots tore the classroom walls to shreds, revealing the horrified faces of the students and teachers inside.

Accelerator began shouting at him.

"Is this all you've got, hero?" he taunted, shooting more air bullets as he maintained his distance, "Aren't you supposed to stop a villain like me? Or was all that just a fluke?"

He ignored him and continued to weave in and out randomly, trying to throw off Accelerator's aim even as he frantically thought of a way out of this. There were stairs to his left, but that would just trap him upstairs. But if he kept running, he would hit a dead end…

It had to be the stairs. Both ways seemed hopeless, but if he kept going up he would eventually get to the roof top, which was at least wide open.

Acting like he was hesitating, Touma slowed down slightly when he reached the intersection of the two paths. He turned his head towards the eventual dead-end hallway straight in front of him, making it appear to Accelerator that he was going that direction.

He waited a heartbeat, then jumped abruptly to the left and into the stairwell.

Just as he had hoped, Accelerator tried to capitalize on the feigned opening, rocketing right into and past the area he had occupied… were those freaking _tornadoes_ on his back?

He barreled up the stairway three steps at a time, rounding the corner as he took the second set up to the second floor. Hopefully Accelerator's overshooting of the entrance would buy him a few extra- HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Accelerator emerged just behind him in the middle of the stairway, shattering the wooden structure into a million pieces. Touma dove for the second floor hallway before the stairs gave out from under him, just barely making it. He rolled to the right and took off, hearing wood splinter behind him.

He spotted Tsuchimikado and Pierce ahead of him, who once again had the great misfortune of choosing the same path as he did to flee to. They were both looking back at him as they ran, or probably more accurately, were looking at his pursuer making another destructive entrance into the second floor.

"K-Kami-yan, why aren't you keeping him busy?" Pierce yelled back at him.

Touma didn't even bother responding.

'Something's off.' He thought as he caught up with his traitorous friends and looked back at Accelerator. 'He could've got me back there. Why did he keep his distance?'

Was Accelerator afraid of direct combat with him? It made sense… but somehow, Touma got the feeling that he was pulling his punches even with his ranged attacks.

'But why?' He thought as he blocked a few more air attacks. 'Why would he hold back?'

As he continued to block the rampaging esper's relentless assault, a familiar, frightened yelp caught his attention. Despite himself, he turned his eyes away from Accelerator and looked in front of him.

Standing frozen in the hallway, Komoe-sensei was giving him a deer-caught-in-the-headlights sort of look that made him instantly recognize that she would not be able to get out of the way in time. Even if she could, Accelerator would probably plow right through her…

He instinctively reached out and grabbed her before they collided into each other. Cradling her against his chest with only his left arm, he twisted back around and blocked another blast that was aimed for his head.

"WHA- WHA- WHA- WHA- WHAT IS GOING ON?" she squeaked, clinging on to him in confusion.

Touma could only grunt back as he continued to shield them from the supernatural barrage. Komoe was extremely light, but carrying her while running and defending against the Level 5 was pushing him to his limit.

"Unbelievable! Even in this super bad end, you're still raising flags?" Pierce yelled out in between breaths. "This kind of dedication is just-!"

"As expected of the high level Kami-yan!" Tsuchimikado huffed.

"WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE YOU STUPID BASTARDS! Touma screamed back.

And so the three of them continued to run towards the roof. With a skirt firmly wrapped around his head and a ten year old looking teacher in his arm, he and his two idiot friends were being pursued by a crazed raging albino with tornado wings. He supposed that it would have been kind of funny if he wasn't in the middle of it all.

* * *

_**Just Outside of A Certain High School**_

Last Order continued to stare at the wrecked entrance. Multiple explosions could be heard inside the school building.

"'W-what's going on?' Misaka asks as Misaka-"

"Last Order!" Yoshikawa cut in.

Last Order tore her eyes from the mess and stared up at the panting Yoshikawa. She was quite clearly trying to tell her something, but was having a hard time catching her breathe.

"You… you need to… turn off Accelerator's access… to the Network…" She finally spat out.

"'Eh? But why?' Misaka-"

Yoshikawa couched down and grabbed her by the shoulders, "There's no time to explain! Just do it!"

Several more detonations occurred as Last Order stared at Yoshikawa. Hesitating for a moment, she finally relented and closed her eyes.

**[Forced Network disconnection of {Accelerator} commencing…]**

* * *

_**On the Rooftop of A Certain High School**_

Touma had finally made it to the rooftop. Quickly putting down Komoe, he turned around to face the cause of this madness.

Accelerator slowly walked out of the rooftop exit, a smile across his face that didn't quite meet his eyes. The two of them locked eyes and stared. This was going to be their second showdown. It demanded some formality at least.

Finally breaking the silence, Accelerator spoke in an excited manner, "This is interesting."

"Not really, I find it all pretty stupid." Touma responded back, "Look Accelerator, you wanna fight? That's fine. But let these guys go. They have nothing to do with us."

Accelerator's grin grew wider, "Yes, that's it. Now you're playing your proper role."

To Touma's immense surprise, Accelerator motioned for the others to go, "You pieces of trash over there have ten seconds to leave. I don't have time to waste on nobodies."

…no response. The three uninvolved people didn't move at all. Why weren't they leaving?

Accelerator was beginning to lose his patients, "What the fuck is this? You have a death wish or something? Get the fuck out of here already!"

Komoe spoke up in a quivering voice, "B-but, Y-You shouldn't fight… it won't solve anything…"

"Tch, did I ask for your opinion you shitty brat?" Accelerator snarled back.

"…Get out of here already you guys." Touma half asked, half demanded.

"Kami-yan…" Pierce whispered, his voice strangely serious.

"I'm fine on my own. Against a guy like this, you'd just get in the way. Go already."

"But…"

Accelerator began walking towards them with a scowl on his face, "This is your last fucking warning. I'll rip you to shreds if you get- hgd dasgah…."

Without warning, Accelerator made an awkward gurgling noise and crumpled. Landing face first on the cold, hard concrete, he made no further movements to get up.

The sudden turn of events left them speechless, not quite believing what had just happened.

"Wha… What the hell?" Touma finally managed after a long period of silence.

"Holy shit Kami-yan… what the hell did you do to him?" Pierce asked, staring wide eyed at the non-moving Accelerator.

"I- I didn't do anything! He just fell over on his own!"

Letting out a long sigh of relief, Tsuchimikado shook his head, "Wow. That was just about the most anti-climactic thing ever."

For some reason he sounded a little disappointed…

"Is…is he alright?" Komoe asked, staring at Accelerator's limp figure from behind the safety of Pierce's leg.

The door was suddenly kicked open. A busty woman in a green jersey stood in the doorframe, pointing a pistol at the four of them.

"Hand's in the air!" she barked.

The four of them immediately complied.

"Kami-yan's the one that killed him!" Pierce shouted.

"I did _not_!"

"Shut up. You're all coming with me." she growled, sparing a brief glance at Accelerator's non moving body.

As if on cue, ten fully armed Anti-Skills stormed out of the doorway.

"Fukou da…"

* * *

_**A Certain High School, Several Hours Later**_

"Community service?" Touma repeated, hardly believing his ears.

"_Extensive _community service until you pay off the damages. And you'll all be on house arrest until you're done." The aging man corrected, glowering at the four of them, "And that's getting off _light_. You're lucky I didn't just get Anti-Skill to cart you all off to a correctional facility. Be grateful that you had somebody to vouch for you."

Touma let out a long breath that he had unconsciously been holding. They weren't going to jail. Despite everything that happened, he wasn't going to have a criminal record to contend with. His relief was indescribable.

"T-thank you so much!" he blurted out, inclining his head to the principal, then to Komoe and the jersey-wearing teacher. Tsuchimikado and Pierce followed suit.

Komoe gave them a tired smile, "Just be sure to never do that again…"

Jersey-woman just nodded, still looking at Accelerator in disappointment. The white haired boy continued staring at the wall, looking relatively bored despite being held at near-gunpoint by a dozen Anti-Skill.

The principal cleared his throat and spoke again,

"Yes, you are all _very_ lucky that nobody was seriously injured. That would've been an even bigger nightmare…" he trailed off, his voice high strung and tense. He looked over at the massive amount of paper work on his desk, groaned, and continued, "You will be escorted back each day by Anti-Skill until all expenses are accounted for. Once we contact your parents, you are free to go for the day."

Suddenly, Pierce's hand shot up.

"…Yes?" he asked wearily.

"Can't we just have a bunch of after school classes with Komoe-sensei to make up for it?"

"_No_, Pierce. That wouldn't help anything, and the school has to be rebuilt anyways."

Pierce sunk back into his seat with a frown.

The brunette administrator tiredly brought out a book that listed the entire student body's contact information. He looked first at Accelerator, "Your guardian is already present and aware of the situation, so you are free to leave."

Accelerator grunted his acknowledgement, then grabbed his cane and stood up. Shooting Touma one last look of hatred, he hobbled out of the (amazing still intact) principal's office. He was accompanied by five Anti-Skill and the jersey-wearing teacher, who had what looked to be a death grip on his left shoulder.

The principal relaxed slightly, "You're up first, Tsuchimikado."

"Er… I wouldn't bother calling the number listed…" Tsuchimikado said with a half smile.

The principal stopped mid dial and looked at him suspiciously, "And why would that be?"

"Uhhh… how should I put this… my foster family is kinda laying low at the moment, so they switch addresses a lot. They've probably changed number ten times since then…"

"Wonderful." he remarked dryly, "Do you happen to know their _actual_ number then?"

"Nya, wouldn't that kinda defeat the purpose? The only number I have that's family related is my step sister-"

"That will have to do." he said tersely. The principal punched in the number and waited. After a few seconds, he began speaking again.

"Hello, is this Maika speaking? Yes, this is the principal of A Certain High School. I'm calling because of an incident concerning your brother and his friends- No, they're alright. Well, why don't I just let him explain it to you?"

She hit the speaker option and motioned for Tsuchimikado to speak.

"Hey Maika…" he said in an uncharacteristically soft manner.

"Onii-chan? What's going on?" Maika's voice echoed across the room.

"Uh, well… me and the others… sorta accidently destroyed half of the school…"

"W-what? Why would you-?"

"We didn't mean to… it's kinda a long story, so I'll explain everything later ok?"

"…Ok. So long as nobody was hurt…"

Tsuchimikado grinned, "You'd think I'd let that happen?"

Maika giggled on the other line, "I guess not. I'll make some food, so we'll discuss it over dinner. Any requests?"

Pierce made a choking noise in the back ground, clearly mouthing the words 'lucky son of a bitch.' Tsuchimikado kept going as if nothing happened.

"Nya, how about curry?"

"Ok then. I'll see you later onii-chan!"

"See you!"

The blond triple agent beamed as his step sister hung up. "So that means I can go now, right?"

"Yes…" the balding man consented, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Tsuchimikado quickly got up and left with his Anti-Skill escort.

The principal glanced at Pierce and let out a loud groan. He dialed what Touma could only assume was Pierce's parents, then got out of the chair and went for a locked cupboard.

The phone was still apparently on speaker, since as a female's voice hurriedly greeted the room.

"Uhhh hey… is this important? I'm kinda in the middle of slaying some demons so-"

The principle cut her off midsentence, "I'm afraid that this is _far_ more important than playing video games ma'am." He undid the lock and opened the cupboard to reveal various exotic liquors. He got out a shot glass and began to pour an amber liquid in it.

"Ohhhh you're that principal guy I talked to last time! What's up?"

The balding man kicked back a shot expertly before answering, "Well to put it bluntly ma'am, your son and his colleagues managed to destroy half the school today, and will now have to participate in extensive community service to pay off the damages."

There was a long pause in the woman's response.

"Ma'am?"

"BADASS!" the woman yelled excitedly, "How'd they do it?"

The man looked doubtfully at the meager shot glass and pulled out a regular one instead.

"We were chased by some crazy super powered albino guy Mom!"

"Oh hi Aogami, I didn't know you were there. What do you mean crazy albino guy?"

"He was shooting wind spells and stuff at us! I think he was pissed at Kami-yan for making him dress like a trap or something… anyways, we were chased all through the school and it was kinda scary, but it was really awesome!"

"That's crazy! Man, I'll have to come down one day and- Oh shit…"

The voice of the carefree woman was suddenly cut off and replaced with a more serious one.

"What's this about destroying a school?"

"And who might you be?" The principal asked, slightly rosy around the cheeks.

"I'm Aogami's mother!"

"But I thought the woman from before was his mother?" he asked in confusion.

"They both are actually. I don't have a dad." Pierce explained.

The voice carefree woman broke in, "Come on honey, they weren't hurting anybody-"

"Don't you 'honey' me you damn otaku! And you Aogami! You better not make any more trouble for those nice people, or else I'll come down there and punish you myself!"

"Ok…sorry…"

"See, he said he was sorry! Jeez, you're acting all tsun tsun with no dere dere…"

"W-Who are you calling a tsundere?"

"Awww, you're blushing!"

"S-Shut up!"

Scuffling sounds could be heard from the other line and the call ended abruptly. Touma suddenly had a very good understanding as to why Pierce acted the way he did.

Pierce smiled at the now rather drunk principal and quickly excused himself. Only Touma remained.

"…Um, so…?"

"Just _go_." the principal said.

"But-"

"**GO!**"

"Yes sir!"

Touma ran out of the room, leaving the pitiful man to his own devices.

* * *

_**Pierce's Apartment**_

Pierce let out a long sigh as he slid down the inside wall of his apartment. The Anti-Skills had just dropped him off.

He looked down at the tracking bracelet they had just attached to his right ankle. He and the others had been put on house arrest after today's incident. They were told it was going to stay that way until they had paid off all expenses owed to the school.

No ogling at girls. No lingerie store prowling. No more scolding from Komoe-sensei either, not until they fix the school anyways. So many of his hobbies so cruelly taken from him…

"This sucks!" the defeated pervert yelled. The outburst echoed across the lonely apartment.

Pierce sighed again and began to slowly sulk his way over to his lone computer, intent on drowning out his sorrow by marathoning various eroges. But before he had the chance to start, something caught his eye. Draped on the computer monitor was…

"The panties?" Pierce yelped. The blue and white stripped negligee had returned to his apartment just like the note said it would! But how?

He carefully plucked the mysterious undergarments off of his computer screen. Just like last night, they were cold to the touch. After staring at them for a good five minutes, he hesitantly placed them next to his mouse pad and sat down.

He started up the computer, still looking at the panties from the corner of his eyes. How could it still be cold if it had laid here all day? He didn't think that a pair of underwear was capable of creating an endothermic reaction…

Or, if it couldn't be explained scientifically then…

Pierce shook his head and focused back on the screen. He should be concentrating on the task at hand. Katawa Forever demanded his full attention. He started up the game and began loading his save file.

But before he could begin playing, he had to make preparations. Pierce was a gigantic pervert. Playing an eroge would cause certain… events… to occur. Events that would lead to a bad end, as it would impede his ability to think properly when making crucial decisions. If he were to fully appreciate the story, he would need to resist his raging hormones.

But to his very core, Aogami Pierce was a man of fetishes. Subduing the extreme urges of his body through will power alone was definitely impossible without some sort of greater assistance.

Which is why he would turn to magic.

Yes, magic. That unexplainable power that would allow him to accomplish his goals. Aogami Pierce was a magician living in a city of espers.

He stretched a bit and adjusted his breathing. It was important for him to empty his mind before handling such a phenomenon. Before he began, he thought back to why he decided to follow the path of a mage in the first place…

* * *

**Flashback**

"Aogami! Get over here! I'm gonna teach you the ancient secrets of the Japanese man!" his normally easygoing grandfather yelled.

The young Aogami quickly clambered up onto the chair facing in front of his grandpa, who smelled heavily of saki.

"Aogami," his grandpa began, "Do you know why Japanese men get a nosebleed when they are aroused?"

Pierce shook his head.

The older man nodded and began his drunken tirade, "It all began back in the day of the ninja. You see Aogami, there wasn't any TV or computers back then. It really sucked ass to live back then. The only way for a man to satisfy his natural manly desires was to peak on the beautiful kunoichis while they bathed."

The man paused to collect his thoughts, then continued, "But this was a dangerous path to take, Aogami. The kunoichis quickly caught on to such things, and would chase the noble ninjas to the death. Now, this normally wouldn't have been a problem for the average ninja. They were just as skilled at escape as the kunochis. But this was different situation. Can you guess why they couldn't escape as easily?"

Again, Pierce shook his head. His grandfather let loose a long, mournful sigh before he spoke again.

"You can't run too well with a raging hard on, Aogami. The ninja would pop a boner, get spotted, and be chased down since he couldn't go his usual speed. It was dark times, Aogami. Many a man were castrated in those days for harmless voyeurism."

He stopped to take another gracious swig of saki. When he finished, his was smiling bleary eyed at Aogami.

"But then a break through happened. The ninjas thought of a special method to keep mentally aroused, yet not by hindered by it physically. You see Aogami, when you pop a boner, all the blood rushes to your money-maker, right? So then it only stands to reason that if you divert the blood elsewhere, _you won't get hard._ So the ninjas trained themselves to shoot the blood out of their nostrils instead, which also acted as a distraction method if you managed to nail your pursuers in the eyes with it. They could continue their manly pursuits and get away with it, free from the claws of those vindictive harpies. Over time, this became so common place that we natural evolved into doing this, and is thus why we all get nosebleeds when we do something perverted."

"Wow…" Pierce whispered in awe. His grandfather nodded sagely, but then spoke up again.

"However! There is a slight flaw in this technique. It still leaves you with less blood to the brain, and you can't think as clearly. Plus, it's still obvious to girls that you're turned on when you're spouting blood out of your nose. And for men like us, who are more sensitive to such things, this is a huge obstacle. You'll never be able to score like that. Which is why it is time to usher in a new age of perversion! Aogami, you and I shall find a way to perfect this method, to complete a technique that completely conceals just how perverted you truly are!"

"B-but how? And why me?" Pierce stuttered.

His adoptive grandfather clenched his fist in fiery determination, "Through magic! Aogami, you definitely have the potential to use magic! You're young, a goofball, and by just showing up on our door step in the middle of the night, you have a perfect set-up for mysterious past! According to like every manga ever written, that means you got to have some sort of super awesome powers! Under my supervision, you will go far!"

"Y-you mean you can use magic?" Pierce asked in amazement.

"What? No. I didn't have all that mysterious past stuff going for me as a kid, and I'm past the age for a shonen protagonist. But I've watched enough magic related anime to get the gist of how it all works, so that shouldn't be a problem. Hell, you'll probably be able to all kinds of stuff once you learn how to control mana. So from today on, I'm going to train you in the ways of magic! You ready to rock, kid?"

Pierce looked at his drunken grandfather and smiled.

"Hell yea I am."

"That's my boy! Now, let's get started…"

* * *

That had been years ago, before he had come to Academy City. Shortly after that time, his grandfather suddenly vanished without a trace. For awhile, he had been overcome with despair.

But slowly, he continued on in his grandfather's name. For him, he continued to carry out his daily routine of using magic. It was what his grandfather would have wanted him to do.

Shaking his head, Pierce wrenched himself away from his reminiscing. He needed to concentrate. With a final collection of his thoughts, he began his training.

"Hard. On." he muttered as he activated his latent power. Mana slowly trickled into his body, and he began using it to alter himself. He started playing the eroge as soon as he had stabilized the process, expertly avoiding various bad ends while navigating his way to the girl's heart.

Magic was not a naturally accessible power. To use magic was to convert and utilize your own life force. To do this, one had to change their body to become a conduit, so that they could freely channel their life force, or mana, and use it to its desired effect.

To achieve this change, an incantation is needed. This incantation would serve as a focus point, to forcibly change oneself to become a magic user. Thus, a magic user's incantation was similar to a password for a computer. Every person's incantation was unique because what one wanted to "change" to was different. It was a personal activation key that held meaning to only the user.

His own incantation was a reflection of his goals. To tame his manhood and make it his own. _Hard on._

This was as far as he had gotten before his grandfather's disappearance. But even without his guidance, Pierce had been able to devise the method of 'perversion control' and apply it perfectly on his own. The concept was simple: regulate the blood flow back to the brain instead of out of the nose. He had done it now so many times that he no longer had to concentrate, performing it out of reflex in public.

It was natural to him… and it was also his only magic. As it turned out, he had no real talent for magic. He could not perform fantastic spells, he could not activate devastating curses. He only had his one original technique, and nothing else.

But that would not stop him. According to his grandfather, every person has at least one form of magic they are fit for. Pierce didn't know the details behind it. All he gleaned from it was that even he had some magic he could use, and if he trained it, he could become stronger. Surely, he would be able to produce something more if he kept at it.

And that was the true reason for current concentration. He had discovered that the way he executed this magical technique produced a certain byproduct that could be useful in the long run.

Magic was essentially symbolic in nature. What you wanted to achieve with it could be much easier obtained by having the right symbolic construct or visualization to aid you. Since he ultimately wanted to conceal his physical reaction to perverse things from the general public, he had chosen to visualize the ice cold showers that all men had to take to quickly get rid of their morning wood.

The byproduct power stemmed from this symbol. He had discovered that if he concentrated enough, we could produce a small amount of ice in front of his hands. It wasn't much, but it was a lot better than just being able to resist popping a boner to every beautiful girl that walked by. And if he kept training it, he might be able to do more. It couldn't hurt, that was for sure.

Pausing the game momentarily, he brought he hands together to form a cup. He strained with all his might to coax the small amount of excess mana in his body to focus on his hands. Using the symbol of his magic to give it shape, he slowly began construction of a small chunk of ice, this time pushing himself to produce more then he had ever done before.

So preoccupied with this ritual, Pierce failed to notice just how close his hand was to the mysterious discarded undergarment that still lay on his desk. His fingertips accidently brushed against the panties.

"GUH!"

A sudden unknown force shot through his body, robbing him of his breath. Static clouded his senses. His mind reeled as he fought to maintain his consciousness.

_GcUKb19e_

_Jsh72%^vvsd$=_24*_

_4- 3!pj tn9ap ym# fo 8&_

_Yh=# *"V eye24wl ren;o0(_8tits2_

"HNNNNNNNG?" he choked out as he strained against the invisible constricting force.

Unintelligible jargon hammered his ears. Pierce desperately tried to cling to the desk to steady himself, but his body wouldn't respond the way he wanted it to. Bone chilling cold swept through him as he experienced near-complete paralysis.

_Djh0 89electronic /r5brain8w7s yus86crystal _3&t[pancake? a\s5elderly6v_

_56r fn __**ot4ku**__n{;? T% __**for*ever a!one**__ 6gnine]_

"HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!"

Pain assailed him. Energy coursed through him. He couldn't think. It was so cold. It was so damn cold…

He felt himself slip off the desk and fall…

_12kjs __**7his is^ my_ f3tish. **__huy665_

He hit the ground with a thud… and like that everything went back to normal. His vision became clear again; he was no longer assaulted by gibberish. The only thing that remained was a dull ache that spanned his entire body. And the fact that he was completely out of breath, drenched in cold sweat, and was shaking uncontrollably. What the hell had just happened?

Pierce stared up at the panties as he laid sprawled out on the floor. They were almost exactly how they were before. Innocently spread out on his desk.

His body suddenly felt extremely heavy. Magical exhaustion? Physical fatigue? He didn't know. But before unconsciousness could claim him, one last thought flitted through his tired mind.

Why did he have the feeling that somebody had been calling out to him?

* * *

**Author's Notes:** THE THICK PLOTTENS. I told you guys the panties are important.

Hopefully I didn't weird too many people out with the ending. It couldn't be helped. And I realize that Pierce's magic is a bit different from Raildex magic. That's intentional. I assure you, Pierce's powers will remain incredibly stupid.

Next chapter will be a change in pace, now that the bros are forced to do community service together. Expect things to get kicked up a notch.

Before I go, I'd like to thank a certain raildex community that remains ever supportive and just generally awesome.

Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 3: Child Error

Finally, it's been too long. Hope I haven't lost my touch. Enjoy.

* * *

.

**Chapter 3: Child Error**

.

* * *

Etzali stood atop a nondescript building adjacent from Tokiwadai middle school. He peered through his set of binoculars, tracking a certain electromaster's retreating back as she went to rendezvous with one of her friends.

The Aztec magician let out a heavy sigh. Misaka Mikoto. The Railgun, Tokiwadai's Ace, the third ranked Level 5… and the girl that he had fallen so hopelessly for, but could never have. For whatever reason, she still harbored feelings for that idiot Imagine Breaker boy, and there was really nothing that he could do about it.

So here he was, reduced to simply watching over her as the idiot she had fallen for remained an oblivious bastard to her obvious affections. Life sucked a whole lot of ass.

…speaking of asses, he had a rather nice view Mikoto's as a small breeze lifted her skirt to reveal the bike shorts she had on underneath. Perhaps he had weird tastes but he actually _liked_ the fact that she wore shorts underneath her skirt. They wrapped so nicely around her firm, yet still girlish posterior, accentuating her modest curves just so…

Like all good things, his "fan service" came to an end as her skirt fluttered back down to its original position. It happened in but a moment, but it was long enough for him to burn the image into his head, which would help tremendously concerning his later… nightly activities.

'Oh Misaka Mikoto, if only you knew the number of tissues crumpled in your name…' he thought to himself as he continued to watch his object of affection walk down the sidewalk.

"There you are!" a voice came from somewhere behind him.

Etzali spun around, quickly stashing the set of binoculars in his pants. Walking towards him was his blonde "comrade" along with the ever annoying Pierce and the hated Kamijou Touma.

"Jose, you gotta help us man!" Pierce began without preamble.

"My name's Etzali, you racist prick-"

"We need you to help us make really good burritos. Like super authentic Mexican style ones!" the blue haired idiot continued as if he hadn't heard him.

"And we need a lot of them too, nya!" Tsuchimikado added.

"What do I look like, a taco vendor? I don't have time to deal with your idiocy!" Etzali snapped.

"Awww c'mon don't be that way! Can't you just cast a burrito spell or something and whip up a few thousand for us?" Pierce whined.

"I said no- wait, why the hell do you need a few thousand?" Etzali asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"We're gonna make the world's largest burrito!"

"…but then why do you need me to make a bunch of regular ones? Wouldn't it just be better to make a big batch of ingredients?" Etzali pointed out.

"No no, we're gonna make a bunch of small burritos and wrap them up in three big ass tortillas, then wrap them together in an even bigger tortilla so that it distributes the weight evenly through the triangulation rule or something like that. It's going to be awesomely redundant!" Pierce explained with profound stupidity.

"That's-" Etzali began before he was interrupted by the arrival of 'headband,' who had jumped a good ten meters over his head before landing next to the three trouble makers.

…wait, where the hell did he even jump from? They were on top of a building!

"Brothers, I bring bad news!" the overzealous headband guy announced with a frown, "It seems that our foes have already created their own giant burrito in the past!"

"Are you serious?" Pierce asked in disbelief.

Headband guy nodded in confirmation, and the three idiots groaned in response.

"Ugh, what the hell!" Pierce yelled as he scratched his head in frustration. "There has to be _something_ that they haven't done yet!"

"Anyone care to fill me in? Or better yet, could you just leave already?" Etzali asked dryly.

"Nya, these guys we met the other day called us 'cooking chumps' on their channel, so now we have to show them who's boss." Tsuchimikado elaborated, "Problem is, these guys are pros at what they do. They've made jumbo sized stuff of like everything ever. So we're trying to figure out what they _haven't_ done yet, so that we don't get accused of just copying them."

"How could you possibly expect to beat professionals when you yourself are amateurs?" Etzali asked in exasperation.

"With our guts!" the headband guy butted in explosively, "We will construct an edible masterpiece that will show everyone the true power of guts! Delinquents and miscreants will marvel at its-"

"That's enough, Gunha." Touma deadpanned. "Why don't we just leave it? I don't even know why I'm bothering with this in the first place…"

The one named Gunha looked at Touma in dismay, "K-san, you're our leader! If you will not lead us with your guts, then who will?"

"I never volunteered to be the leader in the first place-!"

"I got it!" Pierce yelled as he was hit with a sudden wave of inspiration, "We'll just deep fry the burrito and cover it in cheese sauce! It will be a giant chimichanga instead!"

Touma sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, a resigned look across his face. Tsuchimikado, however, didn't seem to be at all happy with this decision, as his normal carefree smile was replaced with a scowl.

"That's not funny Pierce, my mom died that way." he said forcefully.

"Oh… sorry man, I didn't know…" Pierce hastily apologized.

"Back the hell up, what do you mean your mom 'died that way'?" Touma demanded, turning to face the blonde haired spy directly.

"Exactly what I said." Tsuchimikado answered stiffly, giving him a look that told him to drop it.

But Touma continued to press the subject, "You mean to tell me that your mother died by being deep fried and covered in cheese sauce?"

"It's hard to talk about, ok? Just leave it."

"Yea Kami-yan, stop being such a dick."

"You're so full of shit! There is no way that somebody could die so ridiculously!" Touma insisted.

"Don't talk about my mother that way Kami-yan, or I'll kick your ass!" Tsuchimikado warned as he cracked his knuckles threateningly.

Touma stood his ground as he clenched his own fist in response, "You expect me to accept things at face value? After all the times you tricked me? To hell with that! If you insist on hiding behind your lies, then it's my duty as your friend to yank you out and break that damned illusion of yours!"

"I warned you!" Tsuchimikado yelled as he angrily charged. Touma met him head on, the two of them trading blows as a simple disagreement became an all out fist fight. Pierce and the guy named Gunha both stepped back to give the two space, making no move to intervene.

"Aren't you guys gonna stop them?" Etzali asked as he watched the two idiots pummel themselves into oblivion.

Gunha shrugged, "Sometimes, men need to show their guts to one another before they can truly understand each other." Gunha looked over at Pierce, "By the way, our foes have already made a giant chimichanga as well."

Pierce frowned, "Really? Damn it. Maybe we could try-"

Without warning, the world began to dissolve as a voice boomed around them.

"Um, please wake up!"

* * *

**Thursday, September 17**

* * *

_**A Certain Apartment Complex**_

Touma's eyes fluttered open. An unfamiliar, bespectacled green haired woman peered down at him, fully clothed in Anti-Skill attire.

"Y-You need to get up! Your c-community service starts today!" she tried to say in a stern voice. Her stuttering effectively killed any sort of intimidation aspect she might have had. Looked like she had confidence issues…

Wait, community service?

All at once, the memories of yesterday's events slammed into him. White, the school, Accelerator…

White…

"He was in my dream just now!" Touma yelped as he slapped his head in sudden realization. Moreover, he had called him by name… what was it again? Gunha?

"Um… what?" the confused Anti-Skill asked.

"…It's nothing." he replied. He would have to look into the matter later. For now he had far more pressing matters to attend to… one of them being the girl standing directly behind the green haired woman.

"Toooouuuuummmaaaaa…" Index slowly ground out in irritation, "Who is this girl?"

"I told you yesterday Index; I'm going to be escorted to community service for awhile…" Touma began before pausing and turning towards the bespectacled woman. "Come to think of it, why _are_ you in here?"

The nervous Anti-Skill girl fidgeted,

"Um, when I went to fetch you, you were still asleep… but we need to leave soon so…" she trailed off.

Touma sighed, "My bad… I'll get a new alarm clock-"

"You were with guys last time." Index stated bluntly.

"Yea… so what?"

Index narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "Are you collecting girls again?"

"Collecting? What are you talking about?"

Before Index could respond, a new voice broke into the conversation,

"Tessou, I told you to _escort_ him, not become his new best friend." the newcomer snapped, who Touma recognized as the jersey-wearing teacher from yesterday.

The girl named Tessou jumped before rattling off a quick apology,

"S-sorry…um…" she turned to him, "You need to come with us immediately!"

"Can I at least eat breakfast first…?" Touma grumbled.

"We will provide food for you if you have yet to eat." the blue-haired woman answered tersely.

Touma sighed and glanced at Index, "Alright… Index, I'm going to be gone for awhile, you'll have to make your own breakfast."

"But Touma, the refrigerator is empty!"

"That's impossible!" he protested. "I stocked it up to last for at least two more days!"

Index looked away, "It took you so long to come home yesterday… I eat more when I'm worried…"

"There is absolutely no way you could've eaten all of that! I'm telling you, it's not humanly possible!"

"Toumaaaaa!"

"Ugh… fukou da…"

Touma turned to the blue haired Anti-Skill in exasperation.

"Look, can she tag along for today? I'll pay you back…" he pleaded.

The blue haired woman gave him a stern look before she turned to leave the cramped bathroom, "Fine. Just hurry up."

Touma sighed again before motioning for Index to follow. She complied with a huff, leaving Tessou to bring up the rear.

Once outside of his room, he was greeted by three additional Anti-Skills, the cat-like smile of his dorm room neighbor, the death glare of a certain albino…

…and a running tackle-hug from a little girl who looked eerily similar to Misaka Mikoto.

Touma staggered backward a little, just barely managing to avoid falling on top of Index. The mini Misaka looked up at him with a bright smile on her face.

"'Misaka is happy to meet you at last.' Misaka says as Misaka expresses her satisfaction!"

"Uh… same here…?" Touma managed. He looked up to see a furious Accelerator glaring daggers at him.

"Nya, so that's why he attacked us!" Tsuchimikado accused, pointing his finger dramatically at Touma, "You were trying to steal his girl!"

"I was _not_! I haven't even met her before-!"

"Touma! You really _were_ collecting girls!" Index joined in as she barred her teeth.

"What the hell is that even supposed to-?"

"Settle down." The blue haired Anti-Skill cut in abruptly. She reached over and pried the tawny haired girl from Touma's waist and plopped her next to Accelerator, who in turn grabbed her by the shoulder with his free hand. The girl offered no real resistance, just a small pout before giving another carefree smile.

"Don't go bothering other people, you damn brat." Accelerator grumbled, not once breaking eye contact with him as he steered the girl to his far side, away from Touma.

Touma just stared. The whole thing unnerved him. Accelerator, the one who slaughtered over ten thousand Misaka clones, the one who had called them nothing but dolls… was acting to protect this miniature clone? This was unexpected to say the least… he wasn't quite sure how to respond.

The brief stare off between the two was broken by a particularly loud outburst from the endless stomach know as Index.

"Toumaaaaaaaaa, hurry up!" Index whined insistently.

Touma grimaced and looked over beseechingly at the head Anti-Skill. Her eyes softened slightly before being replaced again with its usual hardness.

"We will have breakfast shortly. However, we will be taking a small detour along the way." she announced as she turned around towards the apartment stairs. She glanced back at them over her shoulder, "You better hustle too; you have a _long_ day ahead of you."

With that she walked off towards the stairs. The other Anti-Skills herded them after her and into the back of one of the Anti-Skill vans that were waiting in the parking lot. The three delinquents and their two tagalongs sat wordlessly as the Anti-Skills hovered around them.

After a few minutes of silence went by, the miniature Misaka began tugging on Accelerator's shirt.

"'Are we there yet?' Misaka asks as Misaka tries to determine the trip length."

"What the fuck does it look like? Have we stopped moving yet?" Accelerator replied irritably.

The mini Misaka wilted dejectedly. A few more minutes passed before she spoke up again.

"'How about now?' Misaka asks as Misaka reattempts to pursue an answer."

"What did I just get done telling you?" Accelerator snapped.

The clone sighed before playing with the ends of her hair. Like clockwork, she started up again after a few more moments passed by.

"'How long do you think-?'"

"I don't know where the hag is taking us damn it, so stop fucking asking already! Damn that Yomikawa, she did this on purpose didn't she? I'll get her for this!"

Touma noticed that most of the Anti-Skills tensed to the raised voice, their trigger fingers twitching reflexively. Not that he blamed them. He had seen firsthand what the top esper was capable of, and he was frankly amazed that he managed to survive not once, but twice against him.

Although, he wondered about that. Despite all the destruction they had caused, there hadn't been any casualties or even major injuries of any sort. Considering the person behind the attack, that was beyond miraculous.

Accelerator was the kind of person to focus only on his target and nothing else. He steamrolled through anything that got between him and his prey, no questions asked. Collateral damage meant nothing to him. So then why didn't he just smash the entire school in one go? Sure, they had ripped apart a few hallways and destroyed a few classroom walls, but compared to their first battle that was _nothing_. Accelerator was more than capable of leveling the entire building, so why didn't he? Wouldn't have that been easier for him?

Why did he hold back?

Touma shook his head before glancing back at the super powered albino, who was repeatedly bopping the tiny Misaka on the head. That was another thing, what was the deal with this new clone? Why was she hanging around Accelerator of all people? And more importantly, why was Accelerator, the guy who would start a dust explosion on a whim, putting up with her? Moreover treating her like a bratty little sister? It was like he was a different person around her…

"Toumaaaaaaaaa, how much longer? I'm going to die at this rate…" Index moaned.

"We're almost there Index, just be patient." Touma replied as he tried to pacify her growing temper.

"How soon?"

"I…I don't know, just soon ok?"

"Toumaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Index whined angrily.

"Oi, make that sister shut her god damn mouth or I'll do it for her!" Accelerator yelled over the protesting mini Misaka.

"You're making more noise then she is!" Touma yelled back. Accelerator narrowed his eyes, but surprisingly didn't say anything.

Tsuchimikado stretched a bit with a grin across his face, "Aren't little sisters wonderful?"

"Shut up."

"Shut the fuck up."

A few long minutes ticked by before the van slowed to a halt. The five of them were marched out of the van to where the blue-haired Anti-Skill was already waiting with a small, silvery device in hand. The woman nodded once, studied her instrument for a few seconds, then began walking briskly in the opposite direction. Touma and the others followed after her as the other Anti-Skills began to jostle them along.

Touma frowned as they trekked the unfamiliar part of town. With all the excitement of this morning, he hadn't realized until now that they were short a member. Pierce was supposed to be serving his community service with them, wasn't he? So were they going off to fetch him? That couldn't be it though, why would Pierce live all the way out here? Plus the woman in charge referred to this venture as a "detour," not "going to pick up the last person." Just what was going on?

He eyed the back of the blue haired woman with some apprehension. Truth be told, he was a bit intimidated by her. She had a very… commanding aura about her. Yet at the same time, he felt as though he could trust her. She had been the same person who had covered him during the golem incident after all. Then again, he also felt like she could snap him in two if he managed to piss her off. And of course, going by his usual luck...

'Stop being so timid Kamijou!' he mentally berated himself. It's not like she was some sort of black ops or something, right? She was just a regular Anti-Skill. He had stood up against more intimidating things then this before… he was walking less than ten meters away from Accelerator for Christ sake!

"Um, miss?" Touma began before suddenly realizing that he didn't even know her name.

"Yomikawa." the woman responded without looking back.

"Right. Miss Yomikawa... where's Pierce?" Touma asked.

"That's a good question." she replied casually as they continued to march toward their destination, "Tell me, is there any chance that your friend is a teleporter?"

"Uh… I don't think so…?" Touma said uneasily, looking at Tsuchimikado for confirmation. Come to think of it, what _was_ Pierce's power anyway?

Tsuchimikado shrugged, "Nya, I don't really know what his power is… but I can guarantee that it isn't teleportation."

"How do you know?"

Tsuchimikado grinned, "C'mon man, it's Pierce. If he was a teleporter, he would've been abusing it every day to get into girl's locker rooms or something."

Touma couldn't help but agree with him.

"But anyways, why would you think he's-?"

"Here we are." Yomikawa suddenly announced as she looked up from her device.

Touma blinked, just now noticing his surroundings. They were in an alleyway located right next to a family restaurant; specifically the alleyway where they placed their trash for pick up. Dumpsters were lined up neatly along the right side.

"Uh, what?"Touma asked in confusion.

She flipped the machine she was holding so that he could get a better look. On the screen was a bright red marker leading to a dark purple one, which they were practically on top of.

A GPS. It must be linked to their ankle bracelets so that they could track them. But if they were getting a signal from here…

Touma jumped as the dumpster he was standing next to let out a muffled moan. Yomikawa raised an eyebrow before she motioned for the other Anti-Skills to lift the top off of the talking trash bin. A heavy stench filled the air as it was removed, revealing…

…Aogami Pierce lying in a pool of buttery spaghetti. For whatever reason, he was sporting a pink jumpsuit that was only haphazardly buttoned up to his chest, a sombrero covering his left eye, and a corny moustache taped on to his upper lip. He stared up at them with a bewildered expression on his face, which they mirrored back at him.

Tsuchimikado was the first to respond, "Rough night?"

"I don't… what?" Pierce answered in disorientation. He shook his head to clear his mind before responding again, "I don't remember how I got here…"

"Most people don't."

Pierce grasped the edges of the container and attempted to hoist himself out, but was stopped midway by Yomikawa.

"I'd like to ask a quick question while I've got your attention." she said in a tone that brooked no argument.

"According to the tracking system, you were inside your room until midnight of last night. You then vanished and reappeared at this location less than a second afterwards."

She leaned in closer, looking down at the trapped pervert. "Your bio makes no mention of you being capable of teleportation. So I must ask; how exactly did you manage to travel nearly a kilometer in such a short period of time?"

Pierce shifted uncomfortably in his small prison of buttered noodles, "I… I don't know… the last thing I remember is playing one of my galge games… then I…"

A light bulb seemed to go off in his head as a look of realization dawned upon him.

"I bet it was those damned panties!"

"…I beg your pardon?"

"I found a pair of panties in my fridge a few days ago." Pierce clarified, "They stayed ice cold even after I let them sit out for awhile. Anyways, I was playing some games last night and accidently touched them, and I started to hallucinate. I think I passed out after I let them go, then I woke up here… where are we, anyways?"

"…Tessou, get a breathalyzer over here."

"I'm not drunk!" Pierce protested.

The exchange was suddenly punctuated with a loud rumbling noise. Everybody turned to see Index clinging onto a helpless looking Tessou for support.

"Foooood..." Index pleaded as her stomach gave another tremendous growl. Her eyes were focused hungrily in the direction of the dumpster, which made Touma fearful of that she might disregard sanitation in her bid for filling her belly.

Yomikawa shot Touma an irritated look, "Don't you ever feed her properly?"

"Oh, you have _no_ idea…" Touma responded hollowly.

The blue haired woman sighed and ran her hand down her face before responding,

"Alright then boys, fish Mr. Frozen Panties out and get him some clothes. We'll do the drug tests on the way to our destination. Everybody else get back in the car and wait."

* * *

After a few minutes of forcing Index away from the dumpster of spaghetti, they were once again seated in the van. Pierce had changed into the clothes that Anti-Skill had provided, but still smelled heavily of buttered noodles.

Right before they left, a woman with hopped inside. She had short, blue hair and wore a lab coat over her faded shirt and pants. Touma immediately recognized her as the woman he had bumped into right before meeting Accelerator… and she apparently recognized him as well, as Touma noticed that her eyes lingered a bit too long on him. The nameless woman sat down in a vacant seat and nodded at one of the Anti-Skills, who promptly slid the door of the vehicle shut.

"Yoshikawa, what the fuck are you doing here?" Accelerator asked the new arrival.

The woman apparently named Yoshikawa gave him a small smile,

"The person overseeing your community service today happens to be an old friend of mine, so I decided to tag along."

"Taking the day off from job searching? Tch, no wonder you're still unemployed."

"I suppose, but at least I'm actively looking for a job and not blatantly trying to free load." She responded pleasantly.

Accelerator narrowed his eyes at her, "What are you trying to imply, you damned hag?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say that you were a free loader for living in Aiho's apartment without offering any intention of finding a job. It can't be helped after all, because you're going to school. Well actually, I suppose the correct thing to say is that you _were_ going to school…" Yoshikawa trailed off.

Accelerator grit his teeth and looked away, "Fuck off, you nagging bitch."

Yoshikawa just continued to smile with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Meanwhile, Tsuchimikado was busy filling in Pierce on what had transpired in his absence.

"Nya, and then she ran up to Kami-yan and gave him a big hug right in front of Accelerator! The Anti-Skill lady had to pry her off of him!"

"That bastard! No wonder Accelerator was so pissed!"

Pierce turned and pointed an accusatory finger at Touma, "Kami-yan, this is all your fault for trying to steal Accelerator's loli! None of us would be in this mess if it wasn't for you!"

"I wasn't trying to steal anybody! Stop blaming me for everything!" Touma defended.

"Don't call her my fucking loli!" Accelerator spat.

Pierce gave Accelerator a sympathetic look, "Don't worry man, we know. Kami-yan has always been a ruthless bastard in the girl department. But even though he's a bastard, he would never outright steal someone else's loli if he knew that she was already taken. This is all probably just a big misunderstanding-"

"I just told you not to call her that, you fucking freak!"

"For the last time, I wasn't stealing anybody! I've never even had a girlfriend!"

"Settle down!" one of the Anti-Skills yelled over them, slightly raising his gun to emphasize the point.

Touma, Pierce, and Tsuchimikado immediately quieted down. Accelerator flipped him off. An uneasy silence soon filled the van, only broken by Index's constant stomach rumblings.

After a long while, the mini Misaka finally spoke up,

"'Are we there yet?' Misaka-"

"Don't even say it you little shit!"

* * *

_**Child Error Orphanage**_

Touma jumped out of the van and stretched a little before focusing on the small, bleak-looking office building before him. The place looked near-deserted. Only two cars were parked at the front, both as bland as the building they sat next to.

"Hustle!" Yomikawa commanded from across the small parking lot, "We aren't here to play around!"

Touma quickly complied, trotting with the others to the front entrance of the building. Well, everyone except Accelerator. Touma watched as he slowly made his way over while using his cane as a crutch, wondering for not the first time just what had happened to him to debilitate him so bad. He may have confidence in his fighting ability, but Touma was pretty sure he had never crippled anybody with a simple punch... had he?

Yomikawa waited until Accelerator was with the rest of them before she started speaking,

"Alright," she barked, "I am officer Yomikawa, and I shall be the director of your community service sentence. You are to conduct your services in an orderly, civilized manner. Failure to comply may result in extended time… and will most likely be detrimental to your well-being."

She paused for a moment, letting the words sink in. Everyone remained silent except for Accelerator, who yawned loudly in response.

Yomikawa motioned at the building behind her, "This is where you will working first. The current owner recently bought the rights to this building, and is using it as an orphanage for child errors. As you can see though, this isn't exactly the greatest looking establishment. Today's job is to help clean this place up until it looks somewhat respectable."

"Tch, more shitty brats? This shit just keeps getting better and better..." Accelerator remarked sarcastically.

Ignoring his quip, Yomikawa continued, "You will be given two small breaks along with an extended lunch period. While you four are working, your companions with be allowed to play with the other children if they wish. Cleaning tasks will be left to the owner's discretion. Basically, anything the owner tells you to do, you do. Do I make myself clear?"

Accelerator snorted as the rest of them nodded silently in confirmation.

"Good. Now we need to wait for the owner to arrive and-"

A loud screeching noise overtook the explanation as tires skidded chaotically on concrete. They all looked over in time to see a navy blue sports car drifting beautifully around the corner. The tires squealed as the vehicle continued to drift through a few open lanes before righting its course and roaring into the parking lot. With another loud skid noise, it parked perfectly between the two other cars from earlier, contrasting spectacularly with the drabness of its surroundings.

Everybody stood momentarily stunned at the sudden intrusion, staring at the vibrant blue vehicle. The silence was short lived though, as the lab coat woman began chuckling in amusement.

"Looks like sempai still drives like a maniac."

Yomikawa sigh deeply, briefly dropping her business-like demeanor for a more natural one, "I know she's your friend and all Kikyou, but she needs to stop hot-rodding around like that. If it were anyone else I would have arrested them on the spot."

"I know. She's always been like that..." the short haired woman admitted as she shook her head.

The car door opened to reveal a woman with long, brown hair and distinctive bags underneath her eyes. If he had to guess, Touma would have pinned this new arrival to be in either her late twenties or early thirties. Like Yoshikawa, she also wore a lab coat over her regular clothes.

The woman smoothed out her skirt and calmly walked towards them as if nothing unusual had happened. Yoshikawa had a small smile on her face as she stepped forward with her hand outstretched, which the other woman quickly clasped in a firm handshake.

"It's been awhile, Kikyou." The brown haired woman greeted.

"Too long, sempai." Yoshikawa replied as they both let go of each other's hands.

The older woman shook her head at that, "I told you, none of this 'sempai' crap any more. I feel old when you call me that. Just call me Harumi."

"It's a kohai's job to remind their sempai of the wisdom that they have gained through old age." Yoshikawa replied coyly.

Harumi opened her mouth to respond, but was beaten to the punch by Pierce,

"Did you just multi-lane drift?" Pierce asked in awe.

The tired looking woman focused on Pierce as if she had just noticed him for the first time,

"I guess I did?" she lazily answered.

"That was bad ass!" Pierce gushed, "Are you from Initial D or-?"

"Anyways," Yomikawa cut in, "This is Kiyama Harumi, the current owner of this building. You are to follow her orders obediently and without complaint. If she says 'jump' you ask her 'how high?'"

She gave a tight smile at the four of them, "In other words, you are her gophers for the day."

The tired woman named Harumi frowned a little in confusion,

"They are? Must have slipped my mind…"

Yomikawa metaphorically tripped on air, "What do you mean it 'must have slipped'? I told you yesterday!"

"Sorry, I've been busy lately… I was wondering why so many people were gathered here, but now that I think about it, I do remember something about getting help with some chores…"

Touma was somewhat reminded of a certain flighty blond nun that he had met recently…

"It's for community service. They are to help you with whatever you deem necessary." Yomikawa reminded patiently.

"Hm… ok then. That would certainly help."

Harumi turned to face the new arrivals,

"Right... then your first order of business is to get the groceries out of my car." she drawled as she pointed back at the sports car. "I'll show you where to put them once you get inside."

The four of them began halfheartedly moving towards the intrusive vehicle. Index and the mini Misaka must have made to follow them, as Yomikawa began issuing orders for them to stop.

"Last Order! Index! You're going to be playing with the others while they work. Follow Harumi-sensei, she'll show you where to go." she told them in a surprisingly soothing voice.

Another voice, this time Harumi's, broke into the conversation, "Oh, they aren't participating in the community service? I did think it was odd that a nun would get into this kind of trouble...well, come along then kids."

Touma looked back at the two of them. Index followed Harumi as if she was in a trance, too hungry to care about being referred to as a "kid" by the older woman. The tiny Misaka clone named 'Last Order' did the same, but stopped before the building entrance to look back at Accelerator.

"'You're not allowed to fight!' Misaka commands as Misaka enforces a peaceful co-existence!"

"Get lost already you damned brat!" Accelerator yelled without looking back. Last Order stuck out her tongue at him before she turned around and vanished into the building.

"Shithead..." Accelerator grumbled. He glanced over at Touma, "The fuck are you looking at?"

Touma responded with a quick "nothing" and looked away.

After they finally got the food packed away into their respective positions, the four delinquents were ushered into a makeshift cafeteria. They were seated at the far end of an isolated table, next to Index, Last Order, Yoshikawa, and Harumi. The other tables were taken up by thirty to forty middle school aged children, who were talking amongst each other since they had apparently already had breakfast.

The kids closest to them were playing chess on the adjacent table. One was wearing a grandiose black cape for whatever reason; the other was dressed plainly aside from his hat that had the number "69" emblazoned across the front.

The caped boy flicked back his long hair from his eyes dramatically before grabbing one of his game pieces,

"I will destroy Britannia!" he announced as he boldly took one of 69's knights.

Yomikawa raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Harumi. She just shrugged tiredly,

"He keeps saying that… I think it's a phase or something…"

Touma wanted to say that imitating anime characters seemed a bit strange for a "phase", but decided to keep his mouth shut.

69 studied the board with a frown, his brow knit in concentration. After a few moments he smirked and grabbed one of his pawns.

"Check this out!" he proclaimed as he proceeded to leapfrog over three of the other boy's pieces and land on the opposite end of the board.

He leaned back with a smug look on his face, "Triple hopped! King me."

"That's not how the game is played." the caped boy explained with over exaggerated hand motions.

"Pffft, whatever man. This is the stupidest game of checkers I've ever played." 69 said dismissively.

"That is because we are playing chess, not checkers you damned eleven."

"Bro, I keep telling you I'm not eleven. I'm thirteen years old, ok?"

"Truly, your stupidity astounds me..."

Touma shook his head at the exchange and noticed one of Harumi's assistants approaching with several bowls of soup. The woman gave them a kind smile as she put the prepared food in front of each of them, which Index wasted no time in digging into. The woman didn't even have enough time to pass out the rest of the bowls before Index had finished and was asking for seconds. Everybody stared in awe as the bemused assistant put down another serving, which was also devoured. Their own food lay forgotten, everyone too enthralled in the phenomenon that was Index's stomach.

Her monstrous appetite seemed to catch the eye of the Child Errors as well,

"Daaaaamn, that girl can eat!" 69 whistled, clearly impressed.

"I've never seen anybody eat so much, so fast!"

"W-what is this feeling in my heart?"

"500 yen says that she'll stop after her forth bowl!"

"Is she related to that hotdog eating champion?"

Touma sat mortified through it all. He looked up at Yomikawa with a pained expression,

"I'll pay you back somehow…" he offered quietly.

"Hah… don't worry about it kid." she replied after she wrenched her eyes away from the spectacle, "You just have more work to pay off, that's all."

"I…I don't think I understand?"

Yomikawa shot him a pitiful expression before she elaborated, "All damages against the state will result in an extended community service time. That includes food costs. So if I were you, I'd pack your own lunch from now on."

Touma's mouth worked silently for a minute before he glanced back at Index, who was continuing to wolf down food at an alarming rate. He could literally feel his shoulders droop from the invisible weight of additional community service hours she was tacking on. He was going to be stuck in community service hell because of a bottomless hole of a nun…

Touma felt an unnaturally strong urge to start sobbing on the spot.

"Ahhh what the hell Kami-yan! You're adding to our debt!" Tsuchimikado yelled from across the table.

"Haven't you gotten us into enough trouble already?" Pierce complained.

"It's not my fault! Besides, you two are the reason any of this happened in the first place!" Touma defended himself as directed the blame to the two of them.

"How do you figure?"

"You think I don't know? I checked with Komoe-sensei, and she told me that I was never supposed to escort anybody around to begin with! Why would you make me go on a wild goose chase like that?"

Tsuchimikado shrugged, "It couldn't be helped."

"WHAT KIND OF LAME ASS EXCUSE IS THAT?" Touma cried in outrage.

"Well if _you_ weren't trying to steal his loli, things would've went just fine-" Pierce spoke up angrily.

"Oi, you call her 'my loli' again and I'll rip your fucking spine out!" Accelerator growled from between his Anti-Skill guards.

"Enough, all of you!"Yomikawa demanded, already fed up with shouting match.

The four of them looked away from each other. The rest of the meal was spent in silence. Harumi ushered the Child Errors (along with Index and Last Order) somewhere and didn't return until well after they were done eating, looking even more tired yet somehow more lively at the same time.

"Sorry, they can be a handful sometimes." she apologized, "But anyways, I have some work for you to do today."

"Before I bought the rights to this place, it was set to be demolished. It's been abandoned for the past few years now, so naturally I had to clean a lot to make it look even a bit respectable."

She paused to fan herself a bit with her hand, apparently hot from handling the child errors from earlier, "I've managed to clean out most of the bottom floor, but that's about it. Right now everybody has to sleep in one or two big rooms, so it's pretty crowded… I think that it would be a lot better for everyone if we managed to get more separate rooms for them to live in. So your first task is to help clean the upper floors. My assistants brought cleaning supplies to the second floor, so you should be ready to go… you don't have to do much, just make it livable, alright?"

They all nodded wordlessly. Touma noticed that Accelerator had an unreadable expression on his face, like he wasn't really listening. It was replaced a second later with his usual scowl, making Touma question if it even happened at all.

"So…any questions?" Harumi asked apathetically.

Nobody said anything for a moment.

"Is it possible for a bear to ride on top of a horse?" Pierce suddenly asked.

…Touma was seriously starting to question Pierce's mental state.

"Are you fucking retarded? Of course it can't!" Accelerator snapped in irritation.

"Nya, not necessarily. It could be a really small bear."

"I also depends on the type of bear." Harumi pointed out, unperturbed by the random question. "I don't think an American grizzly would be the best choice for such things."

"The weight of most bears would still break the average horse's back." Accelerator insisted.

"Well then what if the horse was a Clydesdale? Those things are gigantic." Pierce brought up.

The others looked at each other.

"That could work."

"Don't see why not."

"Maybe." Accelerator admitted. "But only then."

"Why in the _hell_ would you try to get a bear to ride a Clydesdale in the first place?" Touma asked in exasperation.

"Because it would be awesome! Think of a bear riding down on horseback after your ass. You wouldn't mess with that, would you?"

"I wouldn't mess with a _regular_ bear."

"You don't have any imagination, Kami-yan."

"You have an overactive one!"

"If there aren't any _actual_ questions, then I suggest that you get started." Yomikawa interrupted, "Between eating an entire kitchen worth of food and Mr. Frozen Panty's breach in house arrest, you guys aren't exactly off to a great start in debt recovery."

At this reminder, the four of them hesitantly began trudging their way to the first work assignment of their community service.

* * *

_**Child Error Orphanage, Second Floor**_

"This is such fucking bullshit! Why do I have clean a shit hole like this? Do I look like a fuckin' trash man?" Accelerator complained from across the hall.

"Just shut up and do it, Accelerator."

"Fuck you Yomikawa! You're not the one cleaning rat shit off the ground!"

"I'm also not the one who blew up a building."

"It was still standing upright!"

"Just barely. And with half of the interior carved out. It's pretty impressive that it managed to stay up, actually."

"Nya, you must be a pro at Jenga, Accelerator!" Tsuchimikado commented as he sprayed down the windows.

"Who the fuck asked you!"

Touma sighed as Accelerator continued to complain. As far as he was concerned, they had gotten off easy.

'Too easy, actually.' Touma thought to himself as he threw some more junk into the waste basket. What they had done was grounds for jail time at the very least. Instead, they were allowed to take community service, doing favors for an officer's friend. And it wasn't exactly back breaking work, either. Their punishment seemed more like a big slap on the wrist than anything else.

Was it because of Accelerator's standing? He supposed that made sense. It was pretty obvious to Touma that Level 5's were given some leniency from higher authorities. Him, Pierce, and Tsuchimikado were probably just riding in on Accelerator's curtails… well, it _was_ his fault in the first place after all.

But that begged the question; why did Accelerator transfer to his school in the first place? It was obvious that Accelerator was just as surprised about it as he was… and Accelerator didn't really seem like the type to go to school of his own volition. Was he somehow forced into it? Surely, the higher ups would have been keeping tabs on both of them, considering what happened during their fight… why would they intentionally put them together again?

And on top of that, why would they let somebody who had just wrecked a building work in a child error orphanage the next day? If he had another outburst, it would just be a repeat of yesterday… So then that must mean that they have some way of controlling him? Thinking back, Accelerator _did_ just kind of fall to the ground out of nowhere yesterday… but then why would they have waited to do anything until _after_ he got done destroying everything? Unless maybe-

A hand suddenly clapped him hard on the back, knocking him back into reality.

"You ok bro? You were spacing out." Pierce asked cheerfully.

"…Yea." Touma answered back slowly.

"What were you looking at anyways?" Pierce questioned as he followed Touma's line of sight from a moment ago. A lecherous grin spread across his face as he spotted Tessou standing at the other side of the room.

"Heh, I don't blame you, she's pretty hot. She even has that whole clumsy moe thing going for her… is she your next target?"

Touma gave Pierce a confused look, "What are you talking about?"

"Well I mean, it makes sense if you think about it. Having a girl in the law enforcement would definitely come in handy when you have to deal with jealous boyfriends or yanderes. Plus her specs are pretty good all considering. Throw in the fact that she's a 'naturally clumsy' type, and she's a pretty sweet deal!" Pierce explained enthusiastically.

Touma stared at him cluelessly. Most of what Pierce had said was without subject content, and the misfortunate boy was simply too dense to connect the dots.

Pierce patted him on the shoulder before he went back to sweeping, "I know you have experience, Kami-yan, but you still need to be careful. If you screw up on that route, you'll have half of Anti-Skill down your back. So handle your flags well, ok?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Touma called after him, but Pierce just waved without looking back. Touma shook his head and continued working, deciding it was best if he didn't ask.

They slowly worked their way up the building without incident. While the building had been abandoned, there honestly wasn't too much to clean up besides dust and rat feces. After only a few hours, they were halfway done with the fourth and final floor.

Touma had just gotten done emptying the trash, and was being escorted back up the stairs by Yomikawa when it happened. They had reached the third floor when a high pitched scream met their ears, followed by several howls of pain and gunfire. Without hesitation, Touma dropped the trash bin and charged up the rest of the stairs, Yomikawa only a few steps behind him. Half way to the top, a bizarre, fluctuating noise blasted above him, cutting out all other sound. Gritting his teeth, Touma jumped the last few steps and into the final floor.

Touma only caught a glimpse of the scene before him. Everyone was scattered across the landing. Pierce was holding his right arm, blood pouring out of two separate spots. Tsuchimikado's arm was somehow stuck in a wall. Bullet holes lined the wall, evidently fired by Tessou who was gripping an empty clip as if her life depended on it. The actual pistol was a few meters away from her. The other three Anti-Skills were sprawled on the ground awkwardly, sporting large gashes on the sides of their faces.

And Accelerator was lying on the ground, completely motionless. Standing above him was a man clad in a black wet suit that spanned the entirety of his body.

Before Touma could completely grasp the situation, the man in black lunged forward. Touma could only lift his hands to shield himself before the man crashed into him.

As they collided, Touma's right hand brushed against the assailant. With the familiar sound of negation, the man and the bizarre noises vanished as soon as Touma's Imagine Breaker made contact with his body. Despite this, the momentum still converted, and Touma was knocked back down the stairs and into Yomikawa. He reflexively tried to shield her from most of the blows as they both tumbled down, it not occurring to him that she would have hardly felt it anyways due to her body armor.

They landed in a heap on the conjunction between the third and fourth floor. Yomikawa somehow managed to land on top of him, knocking the wind out of him and smothering him with her sizable breasts simultaneously. A few frightful seconds of oxygen deprivation passed before he managed to dislodge himself from her cleavage and take a large gulp of air.

Pain seared through Touma's head as he experienced extreme disorientation. Random thoughts and images flit through his mind, feeling somehow both alien and uncannily familiar to him. It felt as if someone had ripped his brain out, diced it into small pieces, then put it back in random order. Was this what a concussion was supposed to feel like?

After a long moment, his vertigo eventually subsided. He took a long, slow breath before he realized he was being talked to.

"What the hell Kami-yan, I thought you were going for the green haired one! Don't tell me you are actually planning to go for both!"

"Nya, as expected of Kami-yan!"

"Fucking idiots."

"I-I didn't-!" Touma sputtered, his face flushing red as he realized that Yomikawa was still sprawled across his body. She had only managed to partially untangle herself enough to sit upright, which looked extremely lewd without proper context. Touma looked up from his unfortunate position to see a crimson faced Tessou, three embarrassed Anti-Skills, the pissed yet perverse faces of his two idiot friends, and Accelerator, who looked completely indifferent if not a bit ruffled.

Yomikawa either didn't realize the predicament they were in, or simply didn't care,

"What in the _hell_ is going on here?" she barked, still somehow maintaining a commanding presence despite her awkward… seating arrangements.

"Uh, um, well… I mean-"Tessou bubbled, tripping over her words spectacularly from a combination of nervousness and embarrassment.

Pierce had no such qualms,

"We got attacked by a bunch of crazy rats!" he shouted cheerfully.

"…Rats?" Yomikawa repeated.

"Yea! They were like super rats or something! Then a power ranger appeared and scared them away by playing really weird music. Then Kami-yan came and I guess he decided it was time to go cuz he teleported away right after that... then we found Kami-yan raising your flags down at the bottom of the stairs!"

Yomikawa stared blankly at Pierce before looking back at Tessou, "You sure he read negative on the drug tests?"

"I'm not high!"

"Um... while his interpretation is… unique, that _is_ essentially what happened…" Tessou confirmed.

Yomikawa raised an eyebrow, "I heard gunshots."

"W-well…"

"Nya, that's because she was shooting at the rats." Tsuchimikado butted in.

"Yea, she had her eyes closed when she fired too, it was so moe~!" Pierce added.

Tessou blushed even harder, causing Yomikawa to give a tired sigh, "I see… well, I'll get your testimonies later I guess, but I'd like to-"

"Can you please get off of me before you continue?" Touma interrupted, trying to ignore the warmth she was generating around his nether regions. He _was_ a guy after all…

"Oh, right. Sorry 'bout that." She apologized before slowly separating from him. Touma was relieved to see that everything was 'under control' down there as she lifted herself off of him. She patted herself off a bit before offering him a hand up, to which he obliged.

Almost as if it was an afterthought to all the craziness, Yoshikawa and Harumi appeared at the crux of the stairwell,

"We heard a commotion?" Yoshikawa questioned the Anti-Skill leader.

Yomikawa gestured at the others, "We got a rat problem, apparently. It looks like some of them got bit, so I'm going to have to have one of your nurses check them out for now."

"I suppose that does explain the excessive rat dung… I'll have one of my assistants take a look at them." Harumi replied casually.

"I'd appreciate that." Yomikawa thanked before signaling for the others to come down, "Once they patch you up, you'll be following me and Tessou outside. We have more work for you to do."

Nodding glumly, the four boys followed Harumi to the nurses ward.

* * *

_**Child Error Orphanage, Just Outside**_

Touma grunted with exertion as he scrubbed the exterior of the building. After the rat incident, they had been relocated with Yomikawa and Tessou to cleaning the graffiti-coated backside of the orphanage. The rest of the Anti-Skill team was tackling the supposed rodent problem, as Yomikawa deemed the extermination as "not safe enough" for the unprotected delinquents to take part in. Not that Touma minded in the slightest. He didn't really want to take another freefall down the stairs if he could help it.

Standing back to look at their overall progress, Touma jammed his hands inside of his pockets, only to notice that there was something in them. Curious, he quickly pulled out the thin object to reveal a slip of folded paper.

Touma looked around suspiciously at the others. For some reason, his gut was telling him that he needed to keep whatever was inside the paper to himself.

Accelerator was busy trying to erase the words "Skill-Out wuz hear" from the wall, keeping up a steady stream of swearing as he worked. Tsuchimikado and Pierce were working on the other end, well out of earshot as they attempted to scrub off a particularly stubborn drawing of a penis. Tessou appeared to be daydreaming, a serene smile on her face as she stared of into the clouds.

Once he was sure that nobody was looking, he hastily unfolded it and peered at the message scrawled inside.

It simply read: "Beware of blondes."

Touma stared blankly at the cryptic words. What the hell was that supposed to mean? And why was this even in his pocket in the first place? He was positive that it hadn't been there before...

Perhaps it was from that ninja character from earlier? Had he slipped it in before he had gotten dispersed?

And what was up with that anyway? He had kept his mouth shut when Pierce had said that the guy teleported away, but he was positive that he had heard his Imagine Breaker activate. It couldn't have been a hologram or an illusion though; he had obviously generated momentum when he knocked Touma back. So that meant that it had to have been corporeal… Touma was aware that some magicians could create humanoid constructs, but usually they simply broke down into their base components when he touched them, like when he had taken down Sherry Crowell's rock golem. With this, there was nothing left, like he had dispelled a fireball or something. Even that weird noise had disappeared with him…

And what was this guy playing at with this "Beware of blondes" business anyway? I mean, why didn't he just say "look out for this person" instead of being all cryptic like that? He didn't even know any blondes aside from Tsuchimikado and Orsola… at least, he thought he didn't. He couldn't be absolutely sure, what with the mind wipe and all. Come to think of it, if he didn't know said blonde in question yet, then just giving a name wouldn't really do him any good. Maybe there was a reason to be vague…

It still annoyed the hell out of him though. He liked straight forward answers, not mysterious messages that had to be worked out. It was like one of those unrealistic plot twists that writers used to "refresh" the story. It might be cool to the readers, but the protagonist has to suffer for it, damn it!

Touma let out a frustrated sigh. He gave the small piece of paper one final look over before pocketing it, deciding to put it out of his mind for now.

Touma glanced back over at Accelerator. The Level 5 albino was also piling on more questions then he did answers. He had seen Accelerator lying on the ground when he had beheld the apparent aftermath of the rat incident. Motionless, unresponsive… he looked almost exactly the same way he had when he had suddenly collapsed on the rooftop the day before. Could it be connected to that ninja guy?

Touma wanted to question him about it, but had held off. People generally didn't like having their moments of weakness pointed out to them, and Accelerator was no exception. Only in his case, Accelerator was liable to blow up a building if he felt his pride was being attacked.

Still, something was definitely off. Was there a flaw in Accelerator's power after all?

The sound of doors bursting open quickly brought Touma back to reality. He turned to see the middle schoolers pour out of the building and into the playground behind him, apparently having break.

A boy with gold hair quickly led a group to retrieve a set of dodge balls from a bin parked in the center of the playground. The boy with the 69 cap rushed to get his own ball, only to get casually tripped by the gold boy. Surprisingly, 69 immediately tucked his body and rolled as he hit the ground, and using his forward momentum, he sprang back up without losing step, landing right next to the open bin. He began throwing balls at random to the other children before a member of Gold's group managed to drag him away. In response, the boy in the cape from earlier threw his own ball and hit the back of the captor's head, which stunned him enough to drop 69 on the spot.

The newly freed 69 picked up one of the few spare balls and turned to face Gold, grinning challengingly with a look of fiery determination on his face. Gold smiled back before picking up his own ball and chunking it at 69, while at the same time motioning his group to fall into formation. 69 blocked Gold's ball with his own, signaling to the rest of the kids to grab the rest of the precious ammunition that lay around. 69 threw his own ball at Gold's face, which he nimbly dodged with a tilt of his head. Two seconds later, both sides began firing at each other. The battle for the playground had begun.

"Shitty brats… Don't know fucking shit about the world." Accelerator declared as he went back to work.

"Just because they are having fun doesn't mean they haven't gone through rough times before." Touma responded automatically.

Accelerator scowled, "Fuck them. Those little bastards have it made. Being a child error has changed a whole hell of a lot from before if living in a cramped area is all they have to worry about."

Touma gave Accelerator a sharp look, "From before? You were a child error too?"

"No shit, Sherlock. You see mommy and daddy coming to my fuckin' rescue?" Accelerator asked mockingly.

Touma didn't say anything for awhile, opting instead to focus back on the kids. Gold and his posse now stood atop the jungle gym, raining hell on whoever got within throwing distance. He was grinning triumphantly at 69, knowing the he had the advantage in both weapon stock and field position. 69 glared back before his face split into a smile of its own, causing Gold to frown in confusion. 69 was suddenly blocked from Gold's view as the biggest kids in 69's group slid in front of him, handing over their own ammunition to the smaller kids and forming a human shield by linking arms. 69 flashed the caped boy a quick thumbs up before ordering the human wall forward, the smaller children crouching behind them with a ball in each hand. Gold's group pelted the protective barrier relentlessly, slowly trying to wear down the "tanks" of 69's formation. Undaunted, the group plunged into Gold's stronghold, slowly but surely gaining ground.

"It must have been tough." Touma finally said.

Accelerator snorted derisively, "Maybe for them, for me it was just fucking annoying. They were hardly strong enough to survive; I got to be with fucking Kihara all the time. The fucker would never leave me alone, always one test after another. Not that the greasy fuck could make me do anything, I just had nothing else better to do. But for the others, it was killed or be killed, and that was only if you were lucky enough to have the eggheads take an interest in you."

Accelerator waved his cane at the unfolding battle, "These little bastards have obviously never had to experience that kind of shit before. They shouldn't even be called child errors."

"So that's why you looked so distant earlier..." Touma realized aloud. That unreadable expression Accelerator had while Harumi was talking about improving the living conditions of the orphanage… it probably dug up unwanted memories of his own childhood, of how worse off he had had it.

Accelerator apparently didn't take too kindly to the observation,

"The fuck are you looking at me so much? You checkin' me out or something? Go suck on someone else's cock!" Accelerator sneered.

"Sorry for having a sense of compassion." Touma responded dryly.

"I don't need your fucking sympathy."

"And I really don't need your constant shitty attitude, but you keep giving me one." Touma snapped back.

The two glared at each other for a moment before they were interrupted by the sudden appearance of Index and Last Order.

"Touma, what trouble are you causing now?" Index growled warningly.

"'You aren't supposed to fight!' Misaka complains as Misaka puts her metaphorical foot down."

Accelerator gave her a supremely annoyed expression before turning back to washing the wall.

Touma shook his head before regarding the two girls, "We weren't fighting… what are you two doing here anyways?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

Index shrugged, "We felt we'd just be in the way if we got involved with… what ever it is that they're doing."

Touma looked back up at the warring child errors. The battle was reaching its climax as 69's battle formation broke apart explosively in the middle of Gold's position. The "tanks" were out of commission, but they had done their damage; Gold's forces had been forced to use a large amount of ammo to whittle down the human shield, and were now evenly matched on both resources and vantage position. The two factions fought fiercely as the battle devolved into an all out free-for-all for the jungle gym.

At the center of this maelstrom of flying balls and bodies, the two commanders met.

69 and Gold dropped their balls simultaneously as they both somehow pulled out concealed melee weapons from their pants. 69 brandished a silver nerf bat, the word "BRO" etched into its surface in blue. Gold wielded a cylindrical, drill-shaped nerf sword engraved with crimson letterings that Touma couldn't recognize. They stared at each other for a moment, sizing each other up. Then, without warning, they clashed.

"Cuneiform?" Accelerator wondered, his eyes narrowing on Gold's strange "blade".

Index nodded, "Yes, from the Uruk period to be precise… it's very strange. Both weapons seem to have certain special properties, but I can't seem to make them out…"

Last Order tilted her head slightly, "'Aren't they just play weapons?' Misaka asks as Misaka tries to understand your reasoning."

Index shook her head, "No, they aren't. It's a bit faint, but both of those constructs definitely hold a power within them. But as I said, it's difficult to define… the formula is both similar to magic, yet not…"

Accelerator squinted at the petite nun, "Magic? The fuck are you babbling about?"

"Ah, she just recently moved into Academy City, so she's still not quite used to esper abilities. She keeps calling it magic or something." Touma hastily interjected before Index could say anything.

Accelerator looked at him for a moment before focusing his attention back on the children, "Tch, whatever."

"Anyways, you're good at identifying types of leaves right Index? What kind is this one?" Touma asked with feigned interest as he grabbed Index by the arm and forced her down to look at a leaf on the ground. Crouched right next to each other, his expression turned from cheerful to aggravation,

"How could you forget about not mentioning magic to espers!" Touma hissed, "'Perfect memory' my ass!"

"I didn't forget, it just didn't occur to me!" Index whispered back indignantly.

"Same difference."

"It's a huge difference!"

"Whatever. You said there was something different about their weapons?"

"Like I said, it has traces that are similar to magic, yet aren't. The format is jumbled, yet the formula is still capable of performing a proper circuit."

"…Wanna run that by me again?"

"It's really weird."

"That's too simplified!"

"It's Touma's fault for being stupid!"

"How the hell am I supposed to understand what you're talking about when you give no subject content!"

"'Misaka is surprised at how enthusiastic the Savior is concerning foliage identification.' Misaka states as Misaka relays her surprise."

Touma and Index both straightened up, sheepish expressions on their faces, "Haha yea, I've been, uh, trying to get into a new hobby lately…"

Last Order simply gave him a cute smile and went back to watching the warring child errors. 69 and Gold had somehow ended up on top of the monkey bars, hoping from bar to bar as they continued their duel.

Gold was eventually forced to jump down first as he made it to the other side, leaving 69 to jump after him. Bringing all his strength to bare, Gold desperately swung upwards at the descending 69, who oppositely used the momentum of his decent to swing downwards. He barely managed to force 69's strike to the side, quickly backing away in order to recover.

But 69 didn't give him the chance. Rolling forward as he landed, 69 sprung up with an upward slash at the defending Gold. Gold parried the thrust to his left and quickly capitalized on the brief overextension to slam the hilt of his sword into 69's side. 69 staggered forward before swinging his bat around in a large arc, successfully blocking Gold's follow up thrust. Both sword and bat were forced upwards, and before either of them could bring their weapons back down, 69 dived forward, hitting Gold with a flying tackle.

Both were sent tumbling down an open slide, landing in a heap on the ground. They quickly separated from each other, squaring off to once again continue their duel. But before they could proceed, Harumi opened the door to the building again, announcing that break was now over.

The children quickly gathered by the door and filed into a line as if a full scale war had not just broken out for the past ten minutes. 69 and Gold reluctantly got into line with the other kids and marched back inside, agreeing non-verbally to put their fight on hold for another time.

"Nya, that was pretty bad timing on Harumi-chin's part." Tsuchimikado commented from behind him.

Touma jumped a little. They must have snuck over to watch the fight…

"Yea, I was about to get some money off of you." Pierce added.

"What are you talking about? The gold guy was definitely going to win the one on one duel."

"My ass, that 69 kid had that one in the bag."

"Instead of trying to bet money that neither of you actually have, why don't you two get back to work," Yomikawa suggested as she casually checked her nails, "When you goof off, I just stop counting the time going towards your community service. I won't tell you again."

Pierce and Tsuchimikado laughed nervously before making to go back to their post. But Yomikawa stopped them before they could get more than a few steps in,

"Not _now_, it's lunch time. You get half an hour break before you go back to work. Follow me to the cafeteria; we'll hook you up with some more food. Though you'll have to eat out here so me and Tessou can see you properly."

Index, who had apparently stayed behind with Last Order to eat with them, instantly perked up at the prospect of food. Which meant more debt.

Touma suddenly didn't feel hungry any more…

* * *

_**Child-Error Orphanage, Lunch Break**_

Touma groaned as his stomach gargled pathetically. He was starting to seriously regret skipping out on both breakfast _and _lunch to offset Index's gluttony…

"Nya, you can have my miso soup, Kami-yan. It tastes like garbage compared to Maika's." Tsuchimikado offered.

Touma gratefully accepted as his eyes began to tear up in appreciation. Tsuchimikado, after all, was his absolute best friend in the world right now. That was what his stomach was telling him anyways, grumbling in approval as he quickly downed the precious soup.

With a sudden flash of insight, Touma wondered if this was what Index felt like all the time. Maybe they had more in common than he had thought…

Well, except he didn't go around _biting_ people when he didn't get fed immediately. And he didn't freeload off of people for said meal. And he didn't have a singularity where his belly was supposed to be either.

…why did he put up with her again?

A thought occurred to Pierce as he turned his attention to Touma,

"Kami-yan, what are your favorite kind of panties, blue and white striped, or lacy red?"

Touma lifted an eyebrow at the blue haired pervert,

"What kind of question is that?" he asked dully. While Index was outside of hearing range, Yomikawa, Tessou, and Last Order could hear everything quite clearly. Why would he bring this up now?

"Well, Tsuchimikado over here was saying some ridiculous crap about how red lacy panties are the best when clearly stripped is far superior-"

"Nya, you're still stuck on that cliché design? Your tastes are immature." Tsuchimikado interrupted.

"Lacy red is just about the most clichéd panty type in the history of ever! Anyways, which one is your favorite? It's got to be blue and white strips, right?" Pierce pressed.

"Red is the way to go!" Tsuchimikado yelled proudly.

…Yep. They were clearly devoid of situational awareness. While Yomikawa looked indifferent, Touma could see that Tessou was flushing darker shades of red the longer they talked about this. Last Order was also listening with rapt attention, which Accelerator didn't seem to notice since he was busy tuning them out.

Put on the spot like this, the best way out would be to just disagree and leave it at that, right?

"Neither." Touma finally stated. "Now let's just-"

"N-neither? You're into commando?" Pierce asked in surprise.

"What? No, I said-"

"Nya, now that's thinking out of the box! That's a pretty good answer, Kami-yan!" Tsuchimikado commented, clearly impressed.

"Yea I gotta admit, going bare back can be pretty sexy." Pierce added as he nodded in approval.

"I never said that!" Touma yelled at the two of them.

The damage was already done, however. Yomikawa was sporting an amused smile while Tessou was completely red in the face.

Last Order had a slightly confused expression on her face, "'I see.' Misaka whispers in confusion as Misaka saves this bit of information for later discussion."

Touma had no way of knowing that Last Order had just broadcasted her newly gleaned knowledge over the entirety of the Misaka Network.

As Touma was trying to salvage his good name, Pierce turned to Accelerator,

"So what's your panty preference?" he asked enthusiastically.

Accelerator blinked in surprise. Maybe he had assumed that the others wouldn't try to include him in casual conversation. Either way, he managed to recover fast enough to tell Pierce to fuck off before returning to his canned coffee.

Tsuchimikado suddenly spoke up,

"By the way, what's up with the cane, Accelerator?" he asked out of the blue.

Accelerator tensed, "None of your fucking-"

"Dude, it's his pimp cane. He's even got an arm guard on it." Pierce interrupted.

"Oh ok- wait, why would you need an arm guard on a pimp cane?" Tsuchimikado questioned.

"To protect against player haters." Pierce responded matter-of-factly.

"That's stupid." Touma stated bluntly.

"No it's not. People get jealous when you're walking around with girls all the time. You of all people show know this, Kami-yan."

"What do you mean I should-?"

"But what makes you think that Accelerator has girls around him all the time?" Tsuchimikado butted in.

"Same reason why Final Fantasy has loads of fan girls; chicks love androgynous bishie types." Pierce replied sagely.

"Oh yea, now I see-"

"Don't just fucking go and talk like I'm not here!" Accelerator yelled over them.

"Nya, sorry bro. You really need to speak up more though." Tsuchimikado apologized.

"Yea, you're kinda anti-social for a pimp, you know?" Pierce added.

"I'm not a fucking pimp and I'm _not_ your fucking 'bro'!" Accelerator growled with hostility.

"Should we call you 'buddy' then?"

"Don't call me anything you fucking freak!"

"But that could get really confusing, and Accelerator is a pretty long word, nya."

"Because 'Tsuchimikado' isn't a long word, right?" Touma commented sarcastically.

"You can call me Motoharu if you want."

"As soon as you start calling me Touma."

"But Kami-yan sounds better. And it's shorter"

"No it's not!"

"Anyways," Pierce began, "If you're a pimp, why don't you pay off our stuff, Accelerator? I'll bet you're loaded!"

Accelerator was about to give Pierce a verbal smack down, when Yomikawa interrupted by hooking Accelerator's neck with the crook of her elbow,

"Actually, Mr. Pimp here is what you would call a 'riches to rags' story. He's as broke as you." She said with a grin.

"Really? What happened?" Pierce asked out of curiosity.

Yomikawa's amused grin spread further,

"You see, Accelerator here succumbed to a classic example of poor money management. Despite all the money he had, he didn't invest _any_ of it. But as it turns out, paying for intensive surgery without any insurance to cover the bills is a rather costly endeavor. So now the once well off Accelerator is left penniless and without a place to call his own. So, make sure you invest your money kids, or else you could end up just like Accelerator."

"What kind of fucking reason would I ever have had to get insurance? Nothing could even _touch_ me!"

"Except that something _did_ touch you, and now you're free loading off of _me_ because you didn't think ahead." Yomikawa reminded him.

"That had a trillion to one chance of even happening!"

"It still happened."

"You're fucking impossible!"

"As impossible as Mr. Invincible getting hit?"

Accelerator made an immensely frustrated noise before he grabbed his cane and hobbled away. Tessou half heartedly attempted to stop him before Yomikawa waved her off.

The blue haired officer sighed and shook her head, "It's amazing how he can be such a genius, yet still act like an angsty teenage punk. Though I guess he can't help it, his hormones _are_ pretty screwed up from what I hear…"

In contrast to Yomikawa's calm demeanor, Last Order looked distraught,

"'Do you think he will be okay?' Misaka asks worriedly as Misaka tries to deal with it."

Yomikawa's face softened as she gave the ten year old a genuine smile,

"He's fine. He's just pouting because he's got a bruised ego, that's all. Me and Kikyou are just knocking him down a few pegs. It's a great stress reliever."

Yomikawa adopted a more thoughtful expression, "Though I guess I _was_ being a bit too hard on him… oh well, I was never gonna win parent of the year award anyways. And I still think I'm doing a better job than those damned scientists."

Touma thought as Yomikawa continued to comfort Last Order. Why _did_ Accelerator have a cane now? He might of knocked him around a bit, but surely not enough to cause anything crippling… right?

But it wasn't just that. No matter how you looked at it, Accelerator acted differently around that girl. Sure, he rattled off insults at her just like everyone else... but he held himself differently when he focused on Last Order.

He tolerated her. She would annoy him constantly, and even though he cursed her for it, he did nothing about it. It might not seem like much, but this was coming from a guy who simply steamrolled through anything that bothered him. For him to willingly put up with something that irritated him... well, that wasn't Accelerator. At least, not the Accelerator that he remembered.

And it wasn't just her either. From what he had gathered, Accelerator seemed to be living with both Yoshikawa and Yomikawa. They both nagged and teased him, but he once again put up with it. He held back, just like he had with their last battle, opting to put up with the more tedious fight then going straight for the easier method.

What had happened between their last two encounters that had made him change so much?

Touma focused again on Yomikawa. If she and Yoshikawa were living with Accelerator, they had to know _something_, right? Maybe he could get a few questions answered. He reckoned it was worth a shot anyways. Either way, he needed to hurry as lunch was about to end soon.

He stepped forward before addressing the blue haired woman,

"Uh… can I have a word with you before we start on our community service again?" he asked hesitantly.

Yomikawa's face turned blank for a second before she shrugged it off, "Sure, but it'll count against your service hours."

She pointed at Tessou, "Make sure those two keep working on the graffiti; I'll get Harumi to pick up the tykes."

"Y-yes!"Tessou answered dutifully.

The others were considerably less pleased,

"What the hell, why do we have to keep working when Kami-yan and Accelerator get to do whatever they want?" Pierce whined.

"Kami-yan, did you already seduce Spartan lady as well? Should have known, she is your type after all…" Tsuchimikado assumed.

"Touma! What's all this about seducing people?" Index demanded.

"'Misaka has noticed that the Savior seems inclined towards military women.' Misaka asserts as Misaka extrapolates from the Savior's [commando] preference."

Yomikawa ignored them entirely and motioned the slightly red faced Touma to follow her into the building. He quickly obliged, vowing to beat up the two idiots later for indirectly mentioning his 'older women' preference in front of Tessou and Yomikawa.

* * *

"Damn that crafty bastard, raising flags left and right!" Pierce grumbled.

Tsuchimikado and Pierce had begrudgingly went back to scrubbing the walls after Touma's departure. Harumi had already rounded up Index and Last order, leaving only Tessou to watch over the two of them.

Thankfully, she was decidedly more lenient on the whole 'no talking' policy then Yomikawa.

"Nya, that's Kami-yan." Tsuchimikado said offhandedly.

"Still, this sucks. Kami-yan and Accelerator owe us for this."

"Where _did _Accelerator go anyway?"

"He's probably on the rooftop acting like a mysterious bishonen or something."

"Nya, I don't think he could get to the roof, the top floor is still being fumigated." Tsuchimikado pointed out.

Pierce paused, his frustration slowly dying off, "What was with that anyway? We got our asses kicked by a bunch of _rats_. That's just embarrassing man."

"They were on steroids or something. I just want to know where all the bodies went. I'm sure we killed at least a few, but I didn't see any corpses after that black power ranger scared them off." Tsuchimikado stated thoughtfully.

"Maybe they brought the bodies with them?" Pierce guessed, "I mean, isn't it battle code to bring your dead back for a proper burial or something?"

"For humans. They were rats, Pierce."

"Rats aren't usually smart enough to attack in delta formations." Pierce countered.

"True…"

The two idiots were silent for a moment before Tsuchimikado noticed something was off,

"Yo Pierce, what the hell is wrong with your arm?"

Pierce looked down to see his hand bleeding.

"Shit, what the hell?" he yelped in surprise, his right hand instantly going for the apparently wounded limb. He pulled back his shirt sleeve, tracing a long welt that started at his shoulder and extended to the back of his left hand.

"Maybe one of those rats got you better then you thought." Tsuchimikado offered, staring curiously at the bizarre mark.

Pierce didn't say anything. He was sure that nothing had bitten his left arm; he would've felt it like he had with the other couple of rat bites he had received. But with this, he didn't feel _anything_. It was as if the wound had just appeared out of thin air. Pierce couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something definitely felt off about this…

"D-do you need medical assistance?" Tessou asked, having apparently noticed Pierce's injury as well.

Pierce pushed aside his doubts and gave the adorably shy Anti-Skill his usual grin. He couldn't let such a nice flag set up go to waste. This was the perfect opportunity to impress her with his bravery.

"Nah it's nothing; it doesn't even hurt. I always have some tissues on hand just in case something like this happens." Pierce said in his best heroic voice, reaching in his pocket for his wallet.

"Nya, I bet you always have some lotion on hand too, if you catch my drift." Tsuchimikado snickered.

But Pierce didn't have time to acknowledge Tsuchimikado's snarky comment. He pulled his pockets inside out after rummaging through them a bit, revealing that they were completely devoid of anything other then lint.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" he muttered in aggravation, "I had it right before we started working!"

"Had what? Your tissues? Relax man, just get some inside-"

"Not that! The tissues were in my wallet! It's not here any more!" Pierce replied frantically, searching his back pockets on the off chance that he had put it there on accident.

"Oh… well who cares? You told me that you always leave your money at home so that you don't overspend at the arcade, right?"

"It's not about the money! My lucky condom was also in my wallet!"

"…Your what?" Tsuchimikado asked blankly.

"My lucky condom!" Pierce repeated.

"How in the hell can a condom be lucky? Did you use it or something?"

"Of course I didn't use it yet. But I will one day, so that's what makes it lucky!"

"So let me get this straight… you have a lucky condom, despite the fact that you've never once gotten 'lucky' before?" Tsuchimikado asked incredulously, "That's just weird. And really ironic."

"Whatever, just help me find it!" Pierce pleaded, searching the ground on his hands and knees for the precious wallet.

"Um… when was the last time you saw it again?" Tessou asked, still pink faced from the condom business.

"Like I said, right before we started working on cleaning up the floors of… the…" Pierce trailed off as something suddenly dawned on him.

"The rats!" he shouted, hopping up onto his feet, "It probably came out when the rats attacked!"

Tsuchimikado shrugged, "Worth a shot."

Tessou clumsily took charge of the situation, "I'll call the fumigation team and let them know to look out for it… Um, in the mean time you need to continue working."

Pierce looked like he wanted to check for himself, but eventually relented. He turned back to the wall with a glum expression and quietly went back to work.

* * *

_**One Extremely Long Winded Off-Screen Exposition Later…**_

Touma stood back, wiping sweat from his brow. Tsuchimikado, Pierce, and him had just finished erasing the last of graffiti from the wall, and were taking a short break. Yomikawa left almost immediately after she had escorted him back, and hadn't been seen since. Probably out looking for Accelerator…

Touma knew everything now. The virus that had threatened the Network, Accelerator risking his life to protect Last Order, his current reliance on the Network's calculations... Yomikawa and Yoshikawa had filled him in on every detail.

It had seemed surreal at first, but the more he thought about it, the more he could see why Accelerator had started holding back so much. Before, he had nothing. No reason to fight except for himself. Now though, he had Last Order. He couldn't afford to be so reckless any more. He couldn't afford to harm others when she was in sight. He couldn't afford to ignore her like he had with everyone else up to that point. So he put up with her. He changed his thinking for her. He was subconsciously trying to become the person that he thought she deserved. And with that, he started protecting others as well.

It was ridiculous in a way. Of all the things in the world, it was a little ten year old girl that managed to pacify the most monstrous of the Level 5's. But then, maybe it wasn't. Accelerator had been a kid once too. Perhaps when he gazed into the lonely, yet still hopeful eyes of Last Order, he had seen a bit of himself and simply wanted to protect it.

Maybe, maybe. In the end, it really didn't matter. The important part was that when the moment came, he had chosen to save her. It didn't take away the pain he had caused or the murders he had committed. But he had managed to save a life. And that was something that the old Accelerator wasn't even capable of doing.

"Nya, something wrong, Kami-yan?" Tsuchimikado asked. "You look like you have a lot on your mind."

Touma shrugged. While he had entertained the thought of letting his two friends in on some of circumstance behind Accelerator, he ultimately decided against it. This was a problem between him and Accelerator; he didn't want to start dragging more people into it. Especially if Accelerator really was trying to make a fresh start.

Of course, Tsuchimikado had to press the subject, "C'mon Kami-yan, we're your friends! You can talk to us!"

Touma started to tell him that it was nothing, then stopped himself. Come to think of it, he still didn't know anything about this "Gunha" character… Tsuchimikado might be able to tell him something, considering how well informed the blonde triple agent was.

Then again, what if he and this Gunha guy were acquaintances before his memory was erased? If he asked Tsuchimikado who somebody was when he should already know, Tsuchimikado would know something was up. Hell, he didn't even know if Gunha was even White's real name. He was going off of a dream, after all…

Tsuchimikado apparently decided to leave it after Touma suddenly went quiet again, "Well whatever. You didn't happen to see Pierce's wallet lying around anywhere, did you?"

"No... why?" Touma questioned.

"It was those damned rats!" Pierce yelled, "They jacked my wallet!"

"He swears he had it before we started cleaning the inside, then it disappeared." Tsuchimikado explained. "The guys that are fumigating the place say that they haven't found anything."

"Damn... how much money was in it?" Touma asked in sympathy. He had lost his wallet on more then one occasion, and wouldn't wish such a thing on anyone.

"None." Pierce replied, "But that doesn't matter; my lucky condom was inside! Damn it, why didn't I notice it was gone sooner?"

Touma suddenly wished to retract any pity that he had given the idiot.

"Nya, today's just not your day man. It's like Kami-yan's luck got transferred to you or something... Now that I think about it, Kami-yan _has_ had a pretty decent day so far-"

"Don't jinx it!" Touma snapped. Aside from his forced community service and Index's usual gluttony, today hadn't been too bad for him. He wanted to keep it that way.

Tsuchimikado began to reply, but was cut off midway by a returning Yomikawa,

"Break is over." she announced briskly, "We still need to remove graffiti from the other side before it gets too dark, so hurry up."

Touma frowned; Accelerator was still no where to be seen. He had wanted a chance to speak to the white haired esper before the end of the day, but it looked like the odds of that happening were getting slimmer and slimmer.

"Hold up, hag."

Touma turned to see Accelerator behind them, hobbling slowly in their direction. Yomikawa smiled approvingly, but said nothing.

"Dude, where have you been? We need you to help out, or else we'll never get done with community service!" Pierce lectured as Tsuchimikado simply waved him over.

Accelerator fixed Pierce with a withering stare before addressing Yomikawa, "Let's get this shit over with, I don't have all fucking day."

Yomikawa simply motioned for them to follow as she turned around and walked off towards the other side of the building.

They eventually arrived at a wall that was completely white. Touma shot Yomikawa a confused look. Weren't they supposed to be cleaning off more graffiti?

Accelerator apparently felt the same way, "Oi, what the fuck is this? There's nothing wrong with the wall."

"Yes there is," Yomikawa explained, "It was beige a few days ago. Now its white. You're going to have to fix that."

"Back the fuck up. You're saying that some stupid asshole got up in the middle of the night just to paint the entire fucking side of a building solid white? Who the fuck does that!"

"Maybe he was a paint kinesis?" Pierce offered.

"A what?" Touma asked doubtfully.

"A paint kinesis. You know, somebody who controls paint."

"That has to be the stupidest power I've ever heard of."

"Well, it could be useful for artists and stuff."

"A solid wall of white hardly constitutes as art, Pierce."

"Actually, there seems to be something in the middle, nya." Tsuchimikado observed.

Touma looked up. Tsuchimikado was right; he could just barely make out small black letterings at the very center of the bleached wall. He squinted, straining his eyes to read the lone message in the sea of white.

It simply read, "The Heart."

"That magnificent son of a bitch..." Pierce whispered.

"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Was he trying to be deep? Fucking pretentious bullshit."

"Be that as it may," Yomikawa interrupted, "you still need to clean this up. We're going to have to lower two of you onto some scaffolding in order to reach the higher floors; the other two can work from the ground up."

"Oh, I'm going to fucking _kill_ whoever did this…" Accelerator promised ominously.

Touma let out a tired sigh. Great. Just what he needed. Accelerator to be pissed off before he tried to chat him up on a touchy subject.

"But there's no way we're gonna get done with all this in a few hours!" Tsuchimikado whined.

"Then we'll come back tomorrow and finish it." Yomikawa replied as she tossed safety goggles at the four of them, "It shouldn't even be that hard anyways, we're just going to paint over the white instead of trying to remove it."

Touma spoke up as he slid the goggles over his eyes,

"Knowing my luck, I'll probably fall off the scaffold… would it be alright if I got ground duty?" he asked, shooting Yomikawa a meaningful look while Accelerator was busy.

She apparently got the message, "As long as you work hard, it doesn't matter to me. Accelerator, you pair up with Kamijou. The rest of you grab a few buckets of paint and follow me to the top… you too Tessou, I need you to help me lower them down."

After a few minutes, Touma was alone with Accelerator, silently painting the wall back to beige.

He decided to make the first move, "Accelerator."

"The fuck do you want?" he snarled back.

Touma paused for a moment. Truth be told, he had no clue what to say to him. He hadn't planned to meet up with Accelerator when he first asked to talk to Yomikawa. But after learning about the circumstances around Last Order, he knew instinctively that he needed to see Accelerator, here and now when nobody else was around to listen in.

"I just wanted to talk." he finally answered.

"And what makes you think I give a fuck?"

Touma continued to paint the wall at a leisurely pace, "I know about how you took a bullet to save Last Order's life, and prevented the Misaka Network from going berserk."

He couldn't see Accelerator's reaction to that little piece of news; the goggles cut his peripheral vision. He was still pretty sure he had caught his attention though, since the rhythmic squeaking sound of Accelerator's paint roller had completely vanished.

Accelerator regained his voice after a few seconds, "So Yomikawa snitched on me, huh? Well, there you have it hero. I tried to go outside of my villain role, and I got a bullet in the fuckin' brain for it. I'm sure you and the hag had a good laugh at my expense."

"She didn't 'snitch' on anyone." Touma said quietly, turning to face Accelerator, "She just told me what happened when I asked her why you were protecting Last Order."

"Well now you know. So what? You expect a fucking heart-to-heart? You wanna hold hands and talk about each other's feelings too?" Accelerator asked mockingly.

"No. I just want to make sure of something." Touma answered seriously.

"I'm dying to hear it." Accelerator replied sarcastically.

Despite his apparent nonchalance, Touma could tell that he had Accelerator's full attention just by the fact that Accelerator had stopped painting. For a guy who could multitask a million different things at once without breaking a sweat, there was hardly a clearer way to show just how invested he was in the conversation.

"I don't care about the reasoning behind your decision to help Last Order and the rest of the Sisters. That's all in the past now, along with the Experiment. What happened doesn't make me a hero or you a villain, it just makes me _me_ and you _you_. I just want to know one thing; will you continue to look out for Sisters when I'm not around? Will you continue to put your life on the line to protect Last Order's world?" Touma asked the strongest Level 5.

Accelerator turned his head and looked Touma straight in the eye. His blood red eyes were impossible to read, filled with something that Touma hadn't recognized before. After a long pause, he finally answered,

"You think I'm going to half ass something once I decide to do it? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" he quipped in his usual rude manner.

The meaning behind the harsh words was not lost on Touma however,

"Good enough for me." he acknowledged firmly, bending down to get more paint, "That's all I really wanted to know."

"Hmph. Like I give a fuck about your approval." Accelerator snorted as he returned to his own work.

"Yea, yea."

Silence descended on them once again. Touma was midway through congratulating himself at how relatively smoothly the exchange had went when about half of a bucket full of paint splashed on top of him, coating most of his upper body in beige. The actual bucket that originally housed said paint slammed into his head a half second later, still containing the remainder of the paint that hadn't splashed onto him. Stars exploded into his paint covered goggle vision, the weight of the unexpected blow knocking him face first to the ground.

"Shit, sorry Kami-yan!" came Tsuchimikado's voice from above. Accelerator began cackling like a deranged lunatic.

The words 'beware of blondes' flitted through Touma's mind as he spit out some paint that had entered his mouth,

"'Kami-yan has had a pretty good day!'" he mocked angrily, "Damn you Tsuchimikado, this is your fault, you bastard! You jinxed by bad luck!"

"Nya, that doesn't even make sense Kami-yan, you can't jinx bad luck."

"Yea, that's like a double negative or something-"

"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"Oi, stay right there Kamijou, I'm coming down to escort you to the nurses office!" Yomikawa commanded from the rooftop.

Touma slumped back down to the ground as Accelerator's continued bouts of laughter grated against his ears.

"Fukou da…"

* * *

_**Child Error Orphanage, Sunset**_

Touma tenderly felt the large bump on his head as he stood next to the Anti-Skill van, yanking out bits of paint from his hair as they waited for Yoshikawa to finish saying goodbye to Harumi. Most of the paint had washed off thanks to a special body cleansing agent that Harumi had on hand. His shirt, however, was completely ruined, forcing him to go shirtless for the remainder of the day. Apparently, they had given their only set of extra clothes to Pierce from earlier.

He felt rather self conscious without his shirt on, especially when in the company of so many women that were 'within his target range,' as Pierce would put it. Index was also put off for some reason, probably because she thought he was being indecent in public. Oddly enough, she wasn't trying to bite him. She opted instead to sneak glares at him from time to time, before she looked away, red in the face from anger. Last Order was even more disconcerting, as she was outright staring at him. When he asked what was wrong, she had simply replied that she was "doing a favor for her underlings," whatever that meant.

Despite the various setbacks, they had still managed to repaint the entirety of the wall. This was mostly due to Accelerator, who had finally had enough at one point and used his power to somehow apply the rest of the paint evenly across the surface. He got growled by Yomikawa for "defeating the purpose of the exercise" and "not reflecting upon why he was here in the first place." Needless to say, he ignored her entirely.

Touma shook his head, focusing back into the conversation.

"-really smelled weird, so you might want to take a look into it." Yoshikawa concluded.

Harumi nodded absent mindedly, fanning her face with her hand,

"I guess that's about everything then… what will they be working on after this Aiho? I might need them to help out during the Daihaseisai festival." She asked Yomikawa as she gestured at the four delinquents.

"Sorry, but they're still required to participate in the festival." Yomikawa apologized.

"We are?" Touma blurted in surprise. He had thought that his high school would have been disqualified, considering the actual building was out of commission.

Yomikawa crossed her arms, "Yes Kamijou, you are. You'll still be competing for your schools sake, regardless of its current state."

Touma could only nod silently underneath the woman's stern gaze.

Harumi sighed tiredly, "That's too bad, they did a pretty good job today. I'm sure we'll manage without them though… ugh, it's so hot…"

Touma had to agree, it _was_ pretty hot. Being shirtless certainly helped, but even then he still- WHOA!

For reasons unknown, Harumi had suddenly decided to strip on the spot. She was already shirtless by the time he realized what was going on, leaving her only in her bra. Unperturbed by stares she was receiving, she began loosening her pants as well.

*CHOMP*

"WHY ARE YOU BITTING ME? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Touma yelped in pain.

"Holy shit, is this free?" Tsuchimikado asked.

"HARD. ON."

"Wha-wha- what are you doing!" Tessou squeaked, immediately rushing to Harumi's side as she tried to cover her with the scientist's discarded lab coat.

Harumi blinked, "It's hot."

"Y-you can't go s-stripping, no matter how hot it is!" Tessou insisted.

"But he doesn't have a shirt on." Harumi countered, pointing at Touma.

"I'm not like this because I want to be!" Touma protested as he tried to dislodge Index from his head.

"Ok, I think it's time to take you kids home." Yomikawa announced in a very bored manner, dragging Pierce and Tsuchimikado by the arm and into the van. The rest followed, Yoshikawa shaking her head in amusement while Accelerator looked annoyed as always. Touma was of course in extreme pain due to a certain jaw locked nun.

So with the day ending with an impromptu stripping session, the four delinquents completed their first day of community service, blissfully unaware of the trails in store for them.

* * *

_**A Small Distance Away**_

A girl in a Tokiwadai middle school uniform stared at the departing Anti-Skill van. Her eyes were somewhat glazed, as if she was caught up in a daydream. Which she more or less was, as she was one of the many people under Shokuhou Misaki's influence.

Known as the Queen of Tokiwadai, Misaki was the most powerful telepath in Academy City. And with an army of powerful espers literally at her beck and call, she was also one of the most dangerous individuals of the science side.

But Misaki didn't get to her current position by taking it easy. Maintaining her considerable pull was a constant juggling act, one that required constant supervision of her formidable network. She needed the connections to gather information, the mental prowess to identify potential problems before they actually _became_ problems, and above all, the ability to adapt said problems into a way to further her goals. It was like a giant game of chess, except that her subjugated espers were all pawns while she was the one and only Queen.

So when one of her pawns had suddenly vanished from her mental network, Misaki had of course been adamant on finding out what had happened. Replaying the last memories of the wayward puppet, she had found that the telepathic link had been abruptly terminated when a spiky haired boy crashed into her minion.

She had immediately used all the resources at her disposal to find out as much about the boy as possible... and found next to nothing. Name: Kamijou Touma. Attended "A Certain High School," made poor grades, was classified as a Level 0. The only quirk that he seemed to have was that he tended to get in scuffles with other ruffians rather frequently.

This baffled Misaki. If the boy was truly a Level 0, then how did he manage to disrupt her network subordinate? Surely, it must be some sort of cover up. That was what she had thought, anyway. So she sent one of her AIM sensors to tail the boy, determined to reveal his true level.

She was shocked to find that Kamijou didn't emit _any_ AIM whatsoever. But rather then clear her doubts, this information only deepened them. Level 0's may be utterly powerless, but they still emitted a very tiny amount of AIM. But Kamijou was completely unreadable. She supposed that he might have opted to not become an esper; it wasn't like students for forced to be one. But then, why was he listed as a Level 0? Wouldn't that imply he _was_ an esper?

Perhaps he was emitting AIM, but it was hard to read when he was in such close proximity to a Level 5 like Accelerator. Apparently, Kamijou, Accelerator, and two other low levels had caused a large amount of damage to a school while she was investigating Kamijou's history, and were doing community service to pay off damages. What the top Level 5 would be doing with these three escaped her.

So now Misaki was forced to wait until more information on Kamijou came to her. Watching him all day through the eyes of her pawn had been fruitless; he had displayed no extraordinary talent at any given point. It wasn't until the end, when she managed to move her pawn into earshot of their departing group, that she managed to obtain some interesting information.

According to the lead Anti-Skill, Kamijou was going to be participating in Daihaseisai. Misaki mentally smiled; she would have an excuse to get closer to Kamijou, under the pretense of a friendly school competition. She normally preferred to not leave the safety of Tokiwadai, but for this she would make an exception. With this, she would be able to enslave the boy that had dared to interrupt her work. And even if he _was_ innocent… well, he was going to be having community service with Accelerator for awhile. What better way to keep tabs on the top esper, who had been rumored to have recently been defeated?

Misaki commanded her pawn to return to the dorm. Sitting within the safety of her own room, she set down her cup of tea and turned to look out of the lone window, basking in the beauty of the setting sun.

"Soon you will be mine, Kamijou Touma."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I cut ALOT of stuff that I originally wrote for this chapter, mainly because I realized that the only people who would be reading this most likely already know about Accelerator and Last Order's backstory. Had I not, there would have been large chunks of the chapter would have been mostly rehash material of what the reader probably already knows anyways. And it wasn't funny. I'm pretty sure nobody wanted that. That said, I had to redo certain parts alot to make everything flow better. Hopefully it didn't feel too chopped up.

This chapter is probably the most serious that this fic will ever get really. Touma's introspecting and the big confrontation with Accelerator made for alot more serious parts then normal. Now that Touma and Accelerator have somewhat come to terms, the story will start focusing more on the derpy exploits of the bros.

Anyways, dont want to make this too long, so I'll let you go with the promise that a short Chapter 3.5 will be out relatively soon. Thanks for reading!


	5. Inbetween the Lines

>Unlucky Star in charge of updating in a timely manner

* * *

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**Chapter 3.5: Between the Lines**

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* * *

**Thursday, September 17; Various Times**

* * *

_**Child Error Orphanage, After Lunch Break**_

Index and Last Order quietly followed one of Harumi's aides as she guided them along the makeshift orphanage. Their respective guardians had to continue their community service after the lunch break ended, forcing the two of them to return to Harumi's classroom.

"Here it is." the aide announced warmly as they got within eyesight of the room, "They're currently in their art period, so you should be able to sneak in just fine."

"…Sneak?" Index repeated uncomprehendingly.

"You'll see." the older woman replied as she opened the door and pushed them inside.

The two girls blinked. The quiet classroom from before had been transformed into a maelstrom of noise and color. Desks were pressed together in seemingly random patterns as the students happily (and rather loudly) conversed with each other, busying themselves with… gluing pasta together?

"Index, Last Order, over here!"

The two of them turned to see their new friend Banri waving them over. Index and Last Order quickly trotted towards the girl and gratefully seated themselves in the two vacant seats next to her.

"'What's going on?' Misaka inquires as Misaka attempts to find reason behind the pasta-based activity."

The girl with the large forehead smirked and looked off to the side, "Oh, Harumi-sensei bought way too much macaroni again, so we're making macaroni necklaces to use them up…"

Last Order followed her new friend's gaze and spotted Harumi in the corner of the classroom, idly flipping through a science magazine that had a melted green banana on its cover. Last Order noticed that she would frequent look up and survey the classroom, a small smile forming each time she did so.

"…I don't think she realizes that we're a bit too old to be doing this sort of thing, but I don't have the heart to tell her that. She's probably trying to make up for lost time… " Banri said quietly before trailing off, leaving Last Order to ponder what she had meant.

A disapproving noise from Index brought Banri back to reality.

"What's wrong?" she asked, turning back to the silver haired nun.

"It's all so wasteful…" Index sniffed, staring at the macaroni constructions with obvious disdain. As if on cue, a rumbling sound came from her belly.

Banri gave her an amused grin, "Hungry again already? You do know that macaroni has to be cooked first, right?"

"T-That's not the only reason!" Index hurriedly denied, "Food should be eaten, not used as an art project!"

Before Banri could respond, a boy wearing a "69" hat tapped her shoulder, "Yo, you got any extra macaroni?"

Banri jumped in her seat, her face flush as she spun around to face her classmate, "C-chiba!"

The boy lifted an eyebrow at her reaction and smirked, "You look funny when you're scared, Banri."

"I- I wasn't scared, stupid! You just… you just surprised me!" she retorted, blushing even more out of embarrassment.

"Uh, isn't that the same thing?"

"It's not!"

The boy rolled his eyes, "Whatever. So about that extra macaroni…?"

"Get your own." she said stiffly.

"I already used all of mine."

Banri shrugged and turned back away from him. "Tough luck."

"C'mon Banri, you don't have to act that way just because I accidently scared you-"

"I said I wasn't scared!" she insisted.

"Then why are you being all cranky? We're friends right? So help a friend out and hook me up with some macaroni!"

Banri twisted back around and glared at him suspiciously, "Why do you even need so much macaroni anyway, _Chiba-kun_?"

Chiba crossed his arms, a look of seriousness upon his face, "I'm trying to make a life sized version of Harumi-sensei, but I forgot how big her breasts were, so I'm starting to run out- Ow! Ow! What the hell Banri?"

"I am _not_ helping you with your perverted schemes!" Banri hissed as she began pelting him with macaroni clumps.

"Hey hey, don't get all jealous just because you're flat- OOF!" Chiba gasped as Banri punched him right in the gut.

"Pervert! Pig! Enemy of all women!" Banri yelled furiously as she continued hitting Chiba over and over again.

Index and Last Order watched as Chiba was beat into submission by the normally docile girl. Curiously enough, no one else seemed to pay the spectacle much attention. It was as if it was a normal occurrence in the class of child errors.

Within moments Chiba was reduced to a heap on the ground, with Banri breathing hard as she stood over top of him. A rich, amused voice drawled out from one of the tables,

"You mongrels really should learn how to get along." a boy with gold hair told the two as he sat on what looked to be a throne made entirely of macaroni. How it managed to hold his weight was a mystery.

"Shut up Gil, or else I'll do it for you." Banri said hotly.

"I'm sure." Gil replied sarcastically, "But while I don't normally blame you for slapping him around, I have to say that this time you went a little overboard."

The fair-haired boy hefted a sculpture of macaroni that looked strikingly similar to Harumi and placed it on his lap for Banri to see, "Even I have to say, this is rather well done."

The presumably dead Chiba instantly raised his head and glared at the molesting hands of Gil, "Hey man, hands off! Don't go stealing another guy's woman, that's NTR!"

The outburst earned him another kick from Banri before she marched up to Gil and snatched the replica out of his hands. He simply smirked at her, a knowing look in his eye. "I wonder if you would be so irritated if he had chosen to model his sculpture off of _someone else_?"

Banri ignored him and stomped back to her original table. She placed the construction at its center and sat back down, her face a suspicious shade of scarlet.

Index frowned as she watched the boy named Gil nudge Chiba with his foot. She recognized them as the two "captains" from the earlier dodge ball war, and more importantly, the two wielders of those strange weapons from earlier.

Truth be told, it still bothered her that she could not identify the source of power within those weapons. It was so maddeningly similar to a multitude of different magic formats, yet she couldn't place them. Like a style of magic that ran parallel to the known systems, yet operated under different rules…

As the literal index of all things magical, it was her duty to make sure that such anomalies were properly recorded. A failure to do so would be a blemish upon her title as "Bearer of the Grimoires."

Making up her mind, Index excused herself from her table and strode over to the two deviants, much to the surprise of Last Order and Banri.

"I have a question." she said without preamble.

The two of them looked at her in surprise,

"Oh hey, it's stomach-chan. What's up?" Chiba asked, still laying on the ground. Gil just looked at her expectantly.

Index ignored the weird nickname and cut straight to the chase, "During break, you were using certain [items] in your duel… they contained a faint, yet very strange power within them. I would like to analyze them more, so I would very much appreciate it if you showed them to me."

Chiba's eyes grew huge, "You… want to see my item? Are you sure?"

"Yes, that would be wonderful." Index affirmed, pleased that she was meeting very little resistance.

Likewise, the boy looked highly pleased with himself as he sat up and began unbuckling his pants, "Alright, but I gotta warn you, it's pretty amazing. You might not be able to handle it…"

"She's talking about your _bat_, Chiba." Gil deadpanned.

"Hey man, whatever you want to call yours. I personally named mine the _Giga Drill Breaker_, but-"

"Your bat as in the weapon you were swinging at me earlier, idiot."

Chiba made a disgusted face, then one of realization, "Ooooh… man, that's no fun…"

Index tilted her head slightly in confusion, feeling like she was missing something.

Gil helped the pervert get back on his feet, then motioned Index to follow them to their table. Rummaging through their belongings, they eventually pulled out the respective artifacts and laid them neatly on the table.

Index inspected the two unique constructs, trying to analyze their basic structure. But like before, she couldn't identify the magic format that they were based on.

"How did you obtain them? And where?" she inquired.

Chiba shrugged, "Dunno. I was forced to move here from my old school, and once I got here I just found it in my locker the next day. I asked around, but nobody seemed to know anything about it. So I just figured, 'finders keepers', right?"

Index nodded and looked over at Gil, who also shrugged, "I've had it for as long as I can remember. I don't really know where I got it from."

"That's not saying much bro." Chiba pointed out.

"Yea… I have amnesia." Gil explained to Index, "I can't remember anything from before August."

"Oh… Sorry…" Index apologized, not really sure what to say.

Gil shrugged again, "Not like it's your fault."

"So anyways, what's up? What do you think is so special about these?" Chiba asked as he gestured towards the sword and bat.

"I don't really know…" she admitted, "Um, when you use them, do you feel… different?"

Chiba considered the question for a moment, "Well now that you mention it, when I'm being really awesome, like you know, more awesome then usual, I noticed that it kinda starts to glow a bit… but other then that, not really."

"Same I guess." Gil added, "It just… feels natural in my hands."

"Oh man, are these things some sort of ancient alien technology or something? That would be _so_ badass!" Chiba said excitedly.

"Yea, because beings that mastered interstellar travel would really have a lot of use for a sword and a bat." Gil commented sarcastically.

"Hey, you never know. They could be activation cores for one of their space ships or something."

"An activation core in the shape of a sword…?"

"Maybe they wanted it to look more badass then it actually was-"

"Anyways," Index interjected, "Gil, Satoshi, make sure you take care of them. I might need to look at them again in the future."

"Uh, sure I guess, but who's Satoshi?" Chiba asked.

Index looked at him funny, "Isn't that your name?"

"No, my first name's Yudai. Where did you get Satoshi from?"

Index widened her eyes a bit, "The name "Satoshi" is written on the bottom end of your bat, so I just assumed… perhaps it's the original owner's?"

Chiba looked at the bottom to find the crude signature, "Huh, never noticed… well, I guess I'll ask around about a 'Satoshi' guy."

"Please do." she requested.

With that, Index returned back to her table. Art period ended shortly afterwards, and the rest of the day traveled by quickly as she racked her brain for answers. Soon enough, it was time for her and Last Order to leave.

After saying goodbye and exchanging contact information with the friends that they had made, the two followed Harumi out to the waiting Anti-Skill van.

"'Misaka wonders if her two saviors have learned to get along.' Misaka says as Misaka thinks out loud."

"I don't know much about Accelerator, but Touma is pretty forgiving. I'm sure it will work out." Index reassured the clone. She had learned that there had apparently been a sort of "Experiment" that had duplicated short-hair many times, somehow producing the girl walking beside her. Somehow, Touma and this Accelerator person were involved, and were at odds with each other.

While she couldn't quite grasp the finer details (this whole "cloning" business still sounded like familiar creation to her), she knew that ultimately, Touma would resolve it somehow. He may be reckless, rude, and a total moron, but he was also a remarkably kind person with a good sense of justice. As a person, she truly believed in him. Not that she would ever tell him that to his face.

In the mean time, she had become fast friends with Last Order, noting that she was very much unlike the irritating short-hair from which she originated from. Though she still had a bit of a problem with her initial greeting of Touma… even then, it was apparent that she was a genuine person that simply respected him, and nothing more. Unlike the annoying short-hair, who clearly had some sort ulterior motive to try to snatch him away from h-

…well anyways, short-hair was just annoying. Who knows what trouble she could cause him? Touma was an idiot, so it was her duty as his _friend_ to make sure he didn't go stumbling into unnecessary things! Really, he should be thanking her for taking such good care of him!

"'Whoa…' Misaka says as Misaka admires the view."

Index blinked, not realizing how far they had walked. She followed Last Order's line of sight and… saw Touma standing shirtless as the sun set behind him. For some reason, she felt her chest throb uncomfortably at the picturesque scene before her.

"T-Touma! What the hell are you doing?" Index yelled, her face growing hot.

Touma lazily glanced over, "Oh, Index. I got paint all over my clothes, and they didn't have any spares, so…"

Index went silent, looking away in a huff. It was always the same. Always some excuse as to why he wasn't _really_ doing anything wrong, that it just _happened_. She knew intellectually that he _was_ very unfortunate, but it still annoyed her. Because it always, _always_ meant that he would end up collecting more girls. Thankfully, Touma was stupid enough not to realize it himself…

…Not that she _cared_ or anything. She just didn't want him to get full of himself!

"Uh, Last Order, is something wrong?" Touma asked tentatively.

Index looked over to see the girl outright staring at Touma,

"'Misaka is doing a favor for her underlings. Pay her no heed.' Misaka suggests as Misaka uses the opportunity to revitalize her fellow Sisters' efforts of conquest."

"Um… ok…" Touma responded in confusion.

Index's eyes narrowed. Perhaps Last Order had more 'short-hair' in her then she had thought…

* * *

Index cut off the rest of the memory and faded back to the present. She stared at Touma's dorm room ceiling in the dark, lost in thought.

The rest of the day had gone by without much incident, aside from her having to bite Touma for ogling the stripping Harumi-sensei. She had spent the majority of it replaying this same event over and over again, her perfect memory allowing her to reconstruct the scene at a whim.

It was a practice she often utilized, using her extraordinary recollection ability to reanalyze specific memories. She would often times catch something that she hadn't before; a background conversation she had tuned out, a sign she had missed, a clue she hadn't realized… to her, it was like jumping back in time. The information was always there, inside her head… she just had to go back and understand it.

Unfortunately, it didn't help with everything. She could relive every aspect of her inspection; the feel of the weapons, what they looked like, their size, the faint, yet inexplicable energy she felt from them… but in the end, it didn't do her any good. She was no closer to cracking the mystery then when she had first saw them… which was _immensely_ frustrating.

Index grunted in annoyance and turned over onto her side, willing herself to stop thinking about it. She needed her rest…

…

_Touma was standing shirtless as the sun set behind him, his lean, muscular frame glistening from the sweat that covered his-_

"Nngh!"

Index rolled around in aggravation as the unbidden memory surfaced to forefront of her thoughts.

Perfect memory wasn't without its cons. For most humans, no matter how horrible or great a memory was, the impact of it would eventually fade. The residual emotions would still be present, but the average human would have a sense of detachment from the recollected and the present day. And that was only for the most important of memories; if something didn't stand out enough, it would eventually be forgotten. Most people couldn't name what they had for breakfast a week ago.

But not Index. Every memory that hadn't been forcibly removed from her, she had kept. She remembered _everything_, in its exact detail. When she thought back to the time Touma had first vowed to protect her, she relived the overwhelming surge happiness she had felt that day. When she recalled the time where Touma tricked her into thinking he had forgotten about her, she was suddenly that same heartbroken girl again, and she had to stave off her tears in the present so that he wouldn't be worried.

And when she thought back to earlier today…

Index's face flushed the same shade of crimson as it had when the actual incident had occurred. Her chest began to thump uncomfortably again, and she relived the inexplicable flustered feeling she had experienced when she had first caught sight of him.

"Gah! Touma! That stupid Touma! It's all his fault! Getting me all worked up over nothing!" Index hissed, violently entangling herself in the bed sheets, "I'll punish him for this-!"

"Index!"

Index jumped with a squeak, hurriedly turning to face the source of her problems.

The boy rushed over to her side, a concerned look on his face, "Are you alright? I heard a lot of noise, so I thought something was wrong…"

"I-I'm fine!" Index stammered in an unnaturally high voice. For some reason, she felt extremely timid around him right now…

Of course, Touma didn't take the hint, "Are you sure? You're acting funny…"

"No! J-Just go back to sleep, you were imagining things!"

Touma fixed her with a piercing gaze that made Index squirm on the inside. After a moment, a look of comprehension dawned on his face, which was immediately replaced by an amused smirk, "You were having a nightmare, weren't you?"

"N-No I wasn't!" Index denied truthfully.

But Touma's face just grew smugger,

"Heh, you totally were! I heard you call out my name! 'Touma, Touma!'" he imitated on in a girly voice that resembled her own.

Index trembled, a mix of extreme embarrassment and anger overtaking her mind.

Touma calmed down a little and gently pat her head, "Well, it's not a big deal really. That kind of thing is normal for kids your age."

He thumbed his chest importantly, not noticing the loud crunching noise that emanated from the petite nun, "Don't worry Index, this Kamijou Touma will protect you, so there is no reason to be scared! I'll make sure that-"

"GRAAHHH TOUMA YOU IDIOT!" Index screamed, leaping onto the unsuspecting boy and sinking her teeth into his skull.

"OW! OW! WHY ARE YOU BITING ME? STOP IT!"

"YOU'RE THE ABSOLUTE WORST!"

"FUKOU DAAAAA!"

* * *

_**A Certain Hospital**_

Misaka 10032's eyes fluttered open as the afternoon sunlight poured into her small hospital ward. She slowly moved her head to the side and gazed out of the sole window, enjoying the warmth that the waning light provided her.

Due to various circumstances, she was forced to remain in the hospital after the other Sisters had left. While she knew this was ultimately the best way to facilitate her recovery, she experienced a profound sense of frustration nonetheless. She supposed this is what it meant to feel 'cooped up'.

Still, 10032 was a tactical person at heart. By negotiating with the frog-faced doctor, she had managed to secure a relocation to her current medical ward, which just so happened to be the same room that frequently housed a certain boy when he needed medical assistance.

Misaka 10032 snuggled deeper into the covers. Logically, she knew that any physical trace of the Savior had been eradicated by the hospital's mandatory sterilization policy. Yet illogically, she felt as though his presence still somehow lingered in the otherwise ordinary bed.

In the end, she decided that it was a moot point. Even if her "sense" of the Savior was purely a psychological fantasy, it still made her happy. She had read that happiness helped to promote rehabilitation and enhance general welfare, so she reasoned that she was simply taking appropriate measures to ensure a quick recovery.

Putting her musings aside, Misaka 10032 turned her attention to her Personal Network Interface. While she was never truly disconnected from her Sisters, each Misaka had a "privacy setting" that they could enable at any time.

Originally designed to filter out unwanted noise when a Misaka required rest, the Network program was later extensively modified with additional features that allowed for various degrees of communication amongst the Misaka's. This was due mostly in part to the large increase of non-mission related communication being exhibited throughout the Network.

Simply put, the abandonment of the Experiment had left the Misaka clones with an extensive amount of down time. This directly translated into more "off topic" discussion across the Network, which in turn made the relaying of vital information increasingly difficult.

Thus it was decided that a channel dedicated specifically for casual chat be created, in order to reduce confusion and heighten communication efficiency across the board. The new addition was aptly named "MISAKA channel" or "MISAKA-chan" for short.

10032 disabled her "sleep mode" filter and began casually browsing MISAKA-chan, viewing the multiple "threads" that flitted through her consciousness:

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[OP]** Misaka 19862** 09/17/XX(Thu)18:14 No.538181

"'Cats General. Post pictures of cats that you have found.' Misaka says as she posts a picture of a kitten."

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**Misaka 15489 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:14 No.538232

"'Here.' Misaka snickers as she posts a modified picture of an Umineko Visual Novel."

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**Misaka 11317 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:15 No.538347

"'When the Sea-Kitties Mew… heh heh.' Misaka giggles as she gets the joke."

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[OP] **20k !ftr52js8k0 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:10 No.537983

"'Accelerator thread.' Misaka announces as she attempts to add variety to the topics."

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**Misaka 17876 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:11 No.538050

"'That's an odd way of spelling Touma.' Misaka says sarcastically as she posts a picture of the Savior."

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**Misaka 12155 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:11 No.538173

>Accelerator

"'Sage.' Misaka states bluntly as she shows her disapproval."

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**Misaka 13124 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:12 No.538192

> 20XX

>Making Accelerator threads

"'Misaka seriously hopes you guys don't do this.' Misaka says plainly as she voices her opinion."

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**Misaka 11111 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:14 No.538266

"'Misaka urges you to inspect her numericals.' Misaka announces while pointing at her post number."

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[OP] **Misaka 13233 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:17 No.538569

"'I'll post this everyday until you like it.' Misaka explains as she posts a picture a certain skirt flipper eating a fish."

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.

Misaka 10032 continued to browse awhile before picking out a nice Touma-related thread. But before she opened it, something caught her eye. A new "thread" suddenly appeared in the channel, by the system administrator herself.

What's more, the opening picture to the topic was none other then a picture of the Savior. _Shirtless_.

10032 instantly entered the thread, the administrator now having her full attention:

.

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[OP]** Last Order !Ep8pui8Vw2##Admin** 09/17/XX(Thu)18:19 No.538603

"'Misaka thinks that you might find this interesting.' Misaka proclaims as Misaka shares her recent photos."

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**Misaka 14674 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:19 No.538611

>Shirtless Touma

"'Oh maaaan.' Misaka comments as she wipes drool from her mouth."

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**Misaka 15154 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:20 No.538613

"'WHERE DID YOU GET THESE?' Misaka demands as she stares at the Saviour's upper body."

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**Misaka 14478 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:20 No.538617

"'Nearly bit off my lower lip.' Misaka informs as she comments on the Saviour's glorious posterior."

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**Misaka 19275 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:20 No.538622

"'SCHLICK SCHLICK SCHLICK.' Misaka says vulgarly she openly states her actions."

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**Misaka 18704 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:21 No.538628

>Shirtless

"'My body wasn't ready.' Misaka notes as she comments on her lack of preparation."

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**Misaka 11480 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:21 No.538634

"'Five Star Post.' Misaka comments in approval as she saves the pictures for later viewing."

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**Misaka 12113 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:22 No.538640

"'Why is he so perfect?' Misaka asks as she stares longingly at the photos."

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**Misaka 10063 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:22 No.538644

"'YES, THIS PLEASES MISAKA!' Misaka yells as she experiences a sense of exhilaration."

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**Misaka 19772 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:22 No.538647

"'I'm going to need two hands for this…' Misaka responds dirtily while she makes herself more comfortable.

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.

Misaka 10032 hungrily "saved" the numerous photos that the Administrator posted. Truly, she was grateful for the fan service, if a bit envious of the Administrator's apparent proximity to her object of affection.

The Administrator posted once more after she was done dumping her photos;

.

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**Last Order !Ep8pui8Vw2##Admin** 09/17/XX(Thu)18:24 No.538685

"'Misaka would also like to share one last piece of information before she goes.' Misaka announces as Misaka attempts to advise her underlings."

"'Misaka has discovered that the Savior favors military women, specifically [Commando] types. Misaka suggests that you use this to your advantage.' Misaka reveals as Misaka imparts her wisdom to her underlings."

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.

With that, the Administrator turned off her casual chat access, effectively "logging off." The rest of MISAKA-chan was sent into an uproar at the news, all but exploding with Touma-related discussion.

.

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**Misaka 15606 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:24 No.538698

"'To think he was into military types...' Misaka repeats thoughtfully as she ponders the possible implications."

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**Misaka 15994 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:24 No.538704

"'He must like strong women, the kind that take charge.' Misaka guesses as she extrapolates from her limited knowledge."

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**Misaka 13188 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:25 No.538707

"'But isn't this good news? Misaka already has military training.' Misaka points out as she remains upbeat."

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**Misaka 17777 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:26 No.538712

"'That's true, Misaka surely knows more about military operations then the average civilian.' Misaka realizes as she connects the dots."

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**Misaka 13124 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:26 No.538714

"'So then that means that Misaka has an advantage!' Misaka adds as she becomes excited.

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**Misaka 18858 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:27 No.538727

"'Heh, this Misaka is even further ahead then the rest. Misaka has played a gross amount of shooter type games after being stationed in America, especially the Call of Duty series.' Misaka gloats as she finds herself with a significant lead."

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**Misaka 19425 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:27 No.538730

"'CoD is for casuals.' Misaka responds while dismissing your perceived advantage."

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**Misaka 18858 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:28 No.538738

"'You are clearly envious of my superior position. Misaka would tell you to deal with it, but Misaka knows you can't.' Misaka retorts with a smug look on her face."

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**Misaka 16390 **09/17/XX(Thu)18:29 No.538744

"'Misaka is going to buy some camouflage.' Misaka reports as she heads to the nearest shopping mall-"

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.

"Oh, you're up." A familiar voice called out to 10032, tearing her away from the Network discussion. She looked over to see the frog faced doctor standing in the doorway, and simply nodded in response.

"Good." he said as he flipped through her medical scans, "I'll be back in a half hour to administer the next dosage. You're healing rather fast, so you should be ready to go by Saturday."

10032 perked up, "'Misaka has heard that a large recreational competition is to start on Saturday.' Misaka mentions as she hopes for confirmation."

The elderly doctor frowned, "You mean Daihaseisai? Yes, it beings on Saturday… however, you are not permitted to take part in any sports activities since you're not officially a student to begin with. Which is all good and well, since you shouldn't be straining yourself right after-"

"'But Misaka is allowed to observe the events and interact with participating students, correct?' Misaka interrupts as she cuts to the chase."

The doctor eyed her for a moment before letting out a long sigh, "I don't see why not. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

10032 nodded once again in affirmation and watched as the frog faced doctor left. She was quite certain she heard him mutter something about "forwardness" and "young love" on his way out. Once he was gone she looked back out the window, feeling more eager then ever to leave the hospital.

Maybe she could pass the time looking up which stores sold camouflage in her size…

* * *

_**3**__**rd**__** District, Private Salon (ITEM Hideout)**_

"Accelerator?" Mugino questioned with a raised eyebrow, "And you're sure about that?"

The blonde haired girl nodded vigorously, "Basically, my sources confirmed it!"

"Are you super positive? Why would the Number 1 destroy a school?" Saiai asked skeptically.

Frenda shrugged, "Basically, I don't know. Maybe he was having a bad day…?"

Mugino frowned. As stupid as Frenda's 'bad day' suggestion normally would be, it was entirely plausible when the Accelerator was involved. Though she had never personally met him, she had done enough research to know that the albino freak was a dangerously loose cannon.

Still, there was something odd about this. From what Mugino had gathered, the Experiment that had tied the Railgun and the Accelerator together had been suspended indefinitely. Unfortunately, Mugino had been unsuccessful in determining why. The only thing she had found was some stupid rumor about a mysterious Level 0 defeating Accelerator.

As if a Level 0 would stand a chance against a Level 5. It was amazing that someone would even think up such an absurd thing.

So naturally, Frenda and Saiai kept bringing it up at every chance they could get. What he looked like, how he did it, where he was now… no theory was too outlandish for the two. Mugino was getting sick of it.

Still, she made a point of not stopping their discussion. In the month following the incident, Mugino had noticed that the two of them seemed to be performing better in their missions. Perhaps the idea of someone overcoming such impossible odds motivated them to work harder. They were fairly young after all… they could still be influenced with naïve ideals like "overcoming anything with hard work."

Mugino honestly didn't care what they believed in, so long as it didn't interfere with their jobs. And if a little pointless speculation got the two to work harder, then she could live with it.

It would have ended there if it had not been for a second incident that occurred only a few days after the first. This time, it seemed that something had happened to Accelerator, that he had been weakened somehow. The details once again remained elusive, so Mugino had no way of knowing exactly _how_ he had been weakened, just that he was not as strong as he used to be.

This information had thrown a large part of the dark side into an uproar. Accelerator, the undisputed, untouchable pinnacle of the esper program, seemed to be wavering. Many were on the move, either kissing ass or having their asses kissed in preparation for a possible shift in the Level 5 hierarchy. Especially that bastard Teitoku; he was practically frothing at the mouth at the chance to usurp Accelerator's position as the top esper.

But Mugino wasn't so sure. Something may have happened to Accelerator, but he was still listed as being Number 1. And while she knew that the higher ups liked to gloss over ugly little truths, she simply couldn't see a reason for them to maintain Accelerator's image. If he was broken, then he was essentially worthless to them, and they wouldn't hesitate throwing him to the hungry wolves of the dark side.

And now, after almost a full month since his rumored defeat, Accelerator suddenly reappears and smashes a high school. Was this a message to the others? Was he announcing his triumphant return? Or was he simply, as Frenda put it, "having a bad day"?

"-now, Mugino?"

Mugino blinked, realizing that Saiai had asked her a question, "What?"

"I asked what we should do now." Saiai repeated.

Mugino stayed silent for a moment before responding,

"This isn't something that directly affects us." she said slowly, as if to convince herself, "And we know next to nothing about the situation. If our manager isn't even bothering to at least let us know, then I don't see the point in getting involved right now."

"Basically, we aren't going to do anything?"

Mugino gave her blonde subordinate a pointed look, "Of course we are. We're just waiting for the right opportunity. Rather… I want to see how the rest of the underground reacts before we do anything."

It was impossible to predict _exactly_ what Kakine would do, but Mugino was certain that he would eventually try to take on Accelerator. It was annoying, but if they could keep an eye on the situation, they would be able to strike at the perfect time and knock Kakine on his arrogant ass.

Of course, this could be avoided entirely if Accelerator just did her work for her and killed the piece of shit. If only he had blown up a different SCHOOL…

Saiai nodded sagely, "I get it. We need to not show our hand and play super hard to get. That way we'll have the super advantage later on, right?"

"More or less." Mugino confirmed.

"Ohhhh!" Frenda gasped in realization, "Being hard to get…. so basically, Mugino is acting like a tsundere to get what she wants!"

The comment earned Frenda a punch to the top of her head from Mugino. As the blonde clutched at the rapidly forming lump, Mugino casually glanced at the quietest ITEM member, "What do you think, Takitsubo? You haven't said anything for the entire meeting."

Mugino was met with silence. The black haired girl simply kept staring at the wall.

"…Hey." Mugino said in a slightly louder voice.

A light snore escaped from Rikou in response.

"…"

With another loud twack, Rikou joined Frenda in cradling her throbbing head.

"…Sorry…" the lethargic girl muttered her apology.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! How can you even sleep with your eyes wide open like that?" Mugino fumed.

"Sorry…" Rikou repeated.

"I just said that wasn't good enough!"

"Uh, Mugino? I super think the food is here…" Saiai spoke up as she gestured to the door.

Mugino looked up to see a bewildered delivery boy. She quickly got up from the couch they were sitting on and walked up to him, fishing out a wallet from her purse.

"This is everything?" Mugino asked tersely, riffling through the food containers as she handed him an appropriate amount of cash. She had skipped breakfast in order to deal with a few loose ends from her last mission, and was practically starving as a result.

"Yes ma'am. Do you need change for-"

"Keep it." she cut him off as she continued to lay down the various orders on the table.

"Thank you very much. Have a nice day." the delivery boy replied as he bowed his way out of the parlor.

"**Wait."** the ojou-sama suddenly commanded. An inexplicable chill ran through the room as the boy slowly turned back around.

"…there is no salmon." Mugino stated.

"Oh… are you sure? That's weird, I could have sworn-"

"_Where is my salmon bento?"_ Mugino demanded, a dangerous light in her eye.

"U-um, maybe the chef forgot to pack it…?" he offered.

This was apparently not the answer Mugino had been looking for. A snapping sound could be heard from her head.

"Uh oh, now she's super pissed… I'd run if I were you."

"Basically, she's going to tear you in half."

"Don't worry delivery guy, I'm rooting for you even if you're about to be torn to pieces."

Reacting on instinct, the poor boy bolted from the room. Mugino followed in hot pursuit, four ominous lights winking into existence around her.

Frenda shook her head in exasperation, "She always loses her temper so easily… by the way Saiai, it's basically your turn to take care of the grunt work."

The B-movie lover wilted unhappily to the news,

"Ugh, I'm so super tired of always doing the boring stuff! We need to super hire someone else to do it for us!" she complained.

"I don't think many people are willing to do something like that… especially for our type of organization…" Rikou pointed out in an apathetic tone.

"Yea… Mugino has a bit of a reputation in the underground… basically, you'd have to be a total moron to join only for grunt work."

* * *

_**Academy City Slums, At that Exact Moment**_

The vending machine rattled a bit before finally completing the transaction. To his delight, three extra cans of coke were dispensed with his original order.

"Yes! Lucky!" Shiage shouted, pumping his arm in victory. Today was a good day.

He bent down to gather his prize when a sudden chill ran up his spine. He immediately stood back up, whirling around on instinct.

…no one was there except him.

"What the hell was that…?" Shiage muttered to himself. An indescribable feeling of dread stewed within him, but he couldn't understand why. He just wanted to get back to the safety of the Skill Out group he belonged to. Maybe he was being paranoid, but he couldn't recall a time where his instinct had left him down.

Not wanting to take his chances, he hurriedly gathered his drinks and left, still unable to shake the sense of impending doom that clouded his mind.

He never noticed the girl with the hime-cut hair standing off to the side.

* * *

_**Abandoned Classroom, After School**_

"-show what you have learned… uh, something… by showing how much you have progressed… and…um…"

The boy with the peculiar dress attire ground to a halt mid-speech, a look of frustration set upon his face. In front of him were a row of seats, each holding a stuffed animal, which served as his mock audience.

"Gah, no good! As I thought, I just can't get into something so formal!" he muttered.

He had been selected to give the opening pledge to this year's Daihaseisai, along side of a fellow Level 5. Needless to say, he had been thrilled to be given such an honor, and began practicing his speech right away.

But now…

"Grgh… it needs more of an impact!" Gunha complained, "Such an important event should not be described with half hearted feelings!"

The air shimmered around him as he unconsciously radiated an inexplicable power. Not noticing the strange phenomenon, Gunha began to pace around the classroom, periodically stopping to write down his thoughts on the chalkboard.

"Yes! It needs more determination! More guts!" Gunha continued as he wrote the word 'GUTS' across the board, "I must show my fellow competitors that you can overcome anything with guts!"

Multi-colored explosions winked into existence behind him, flinging chairs, desks, and his own stuffed animal audience into the air. The room was a mess by the time the overzealous Level 5 noticed what he was doing.

"Oops…"

Ten minutes passed as he put everything back in its proper place. He made to go back to his speech, but was stopped by a sudden cry for help to his left. He dashed to the classroom window and saw a group of thugs cornering a young girl to the wall just outside of his school.

Gunha's blood boiled, once again letting off a tremendous amount of energy as he forced the window open. He hoisted himself onto the second story window sill and hailed the delinquents, "How dare you do such an un-gutsy thing to her! I will not let such a dirty act come to pass!"

The thugs looked up at him before looking at each other. It was certainly bizarre scene, to say the least. The girl used to opportunity to flee unnoticed.

Standing fearlessly from his elevated position, Gunha made his final declaration,

"I am Sogiita Gunha! As a friend of justice, I will end your ill natured ploys with my guts!" he roared, once again blowing up the interior of the classroom behind him. With a mighty push of his legs, he leapt at the thugs, clearing the sizable distance between them as if it were nothing. Within seconds, the seventh ranked Level 5 was laying down the law of Academy City.

Needless to say, he completely forgot about the speech.

* * *

_**A Certain Hospital**_

"-so after I finished the report, Misaka-san and I came to visit." Uiharu concluded.

Kuroko sighed, "Looks like I have a lot to make up when I return…"

Mikoto shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Kuroko had been injured in the Tree Diagram Fragment incident, which she had been trying to take care of on her own. Even if it was indirect, she still felt responsible for the harm that had befallen her stubborn roommate.

Perhaps Kuroko had seen the reaction, because she quickly changed the subject,

"So where's Saten? She usually tags along…"

Uiharu went to answer, but was cut off from a voice directly behind her,

"I was in remedial classes… huh, so you went with a sunflower pattern today? Interesting choice…"

"S-Saten-san!" Uiharu squeaked, ripping her skirt out of her friend's hand, "I told you to stop flipping my skirt!"

"Sorry, sorry." Saten apologized with a grin.

"If you're sorry, then stop doing it!"

"So, did you guys hear about that school that got blown up in the 7th district?" Saten asked, ignoring Uiharu's continued protests.

Kuroko crossed her arms over her modest chest, "Yes… yesterday, right? It was something about a structural collapse…"

"Yea, that's the _official_ story anyways." Saten cut in with an excited expression, "But I heard that it was actually because of a duel between high level espers!"

"Sounds like one of those baseless rumors again." Kuroko commented skeptically, "Is their even any proof that esper abilities were involved?"

Saten faltered a bit, "Well… not really…"

Uiharu suddenly spoke up,

"Um… well I'm not sure about a fight, but Anti-Skill was dispatched to the scene immediately… so…" she trailed off.

"Yea!" Saten rebounded, "And how can a school just blow up like that anyway? I mean, what are the chances of something like that occurring by accident?"

Kuroko waved her hand dismissively, "It could have been anything. Maybe it was a gas leak. Or maybe there was a bomb threat of some sort-"

"So then what if the bomber was an esper?" Saten shot back. There had been an esper induced bomb incident just awhile ago, after all.

"And how does that have anything to do with a 'high level esper duel'?" Kuroko countered.

Saten stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking again,

"I don't know… I just have a feeling I guess." she admitted, "Something just smells fishy about this. And hey, some of those rumors turned out to be true, like the stripping lady!"

Kuroko shrugged half heartedly, but said nothing.

Frowning, Mikoto asked a question of her own, "Which school was it, anyways?"

"Um… I think it was called 'A Certain High School'?" Uiharu answered after a moment of recollection.

"What a dreadful name." Kuroko stated bluntly.

"It is kind of weird…" Uiharu agreed.

"Really? Sounds fine to me… schools are always named after boring stuff anyways, so maybe they were just trying to be unique?" Saten offered.

"Boring or not, it's a poor choice. It sounds like a name to a convenience store, not a place of learning. Don't you think so, onee-sama?" Kuroko asked the brown haired girl.

"Yea, it _is_ pretty strange…" Misaka replied slowly. For some reason, that name seemed familiar to her…

"Well, whatever. It sucks for them though, happening right before Daihaseisai." Saten pointed out. "They must be in a mess…"

"That's true…" Kuroko said slowly, an ugly look upon her face.

She suddenly brought her hands to her head,

"Gah! If only I could participate! I can't believe that _Kongo_ of all people took my position as onee-sama's three-legged race partner! Onee-sama's skin-ship is supposed to be mine and mine alone!" she wailed dramatically, pulling at her own hair.

Luckily for her, Mikoto was too lost in thought to hear what she was saying.

Daihaseisai. A cultural festival that involved an inter-school competition between the espers of Academy City. Points were determined through a series of games that tested both a student's individual abilities and how well they could work together with others. A school's ranking would be decided by its point total, which determined how much funds the Board of Directors allotted to the school in question.

Mikoto usually considered the events a hassle. She was always forced to limit her powers severely in the name of fairness, so she could never really let loose. Not that that she'd intentionally hurt anybody… she was just tired of constantly regulating herself. Despite the electrical shielding most Academy City appliances had, she still had to be careful of accidently frying them, especially in periods of stress. Really, the only times she could go all out was when she was with that guy…

Now that she thought about it, he would probably be participating in the festival as well…

A fluttering sensation came from the pit of her stomach, not unlike when she found a deal on gekota merchandise. Mikoto wondered at the strange feeling, not understanding why she suddenly felt so antsy. Maybe that idiot made her nervous… after all, he had managed to take out the top esper by himself…

Why did she keep thinking of him in the first place?

"Um, Misaka-san, are you alright? You seem a little flushed…" Uiharu asked worriedly.

Mikoto jumped at the sudden interruption, realizing that the three girls were staring at her, "O-Oh I'm fine!"

Uiharu continued to look concerned, while Saten had a scrutinizing expression on her face. Kuroko's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"A-anyways! I'm really sorry, but I gotta take care of something now. I'll check up on you again tomorrow, ok Kuroko?"

"Onee-sama, how cold!" Kuroko pouted.

"Look, I'll make it up to you some-"

"A goodbye kiss then?" Kuroko quickly interjected, a hopeful look shining in her eyes.

Mikoto lightly swatted Kuroko on her side, causing the petite girl to clutch her still-healing wound in agony. "O-onee-sama… you're so cruel…"

"And you're an idiot." Mikoto replied back as she marched towards the door, pausing only to wave goodbye to Uiharu and Saten.

Once outside, Mikoto took a moment to recollect her thoughts before proceeding to the next floor. She was halfway to her destination before a familiar voice called out to her, "She's been moved."

Mikoto turned around and spotted the frog faced doctor walking towards her,

"Moved? Why?" she asked, fear creeping into her voice.

The elderly doctor shrugged, "She wanted to be moved to another ward. She was going to be moved soon anyways, since she didn't need the medical tank any more. I just let her pick which one she wanted."

Mikoto furrowed her brow, unable to understand why her clone would be picky about such a thing.

The man reached into his pocket and gave her a numbered piece of paper, "In any cased, this is her new room. I just gave her an injection about ten minutes ago, so you should be able to visit her for awhile."

Mikoto quickly thanked him and began searching for the new room. After a few minutes she found it, noting that it was the same place that the spiky haired idiot had recovered in. With a sigh she opened the door, walking in to find an identical version of herself resting on the bed.

…Well, not _quite_ resting it seemed, judging from the numerous catalogs lying on the clone's lap.

The genetic copy looked up sharply, her face just barely conveying surprise, "'Onee-sama?' Misaka asks as she experiences a jolting sensation."

"Hey…" Mikoto replied. The Sister (which she later identified as "10032") had overtaxed herself when she was alerting that guy to the Tree Diagram situation, causing her previous injuries to worsen. Since then, Mikoto had taken it upon herself to see her each day she had come to visit Kuroko.

Mikoto raised an eyebrow at the catalogues, "Shopping for something?"

10032 shook her head slightly and began to hurriedly remove them from her lap, "'Misaka is not looking for anything.' Misaka lies as she hastily hides the shopping brochures-"

"Too obvious!"

Mikoto quickly snatched a catalogue out of her genetic twin's hand, a mischievous smile on her face. Finally, she was about to get back at the cheeky Sister for all of her snarky comments! She quickly flipped the handout open, and started reading off the first thing she saw.

"Cutie Camo: Comfortable and reliable while retaining a feminine charm, this miniskirt combo is perfect for a girl who means business in both love _and_ war."

Mikoto peaked at her little sister, "You're into this kind of stuff? Honestly, it's not that big of a deal, you know… it's actually kind of cute."

But 10032 waved her off, "'This is for the Savior's benefit, not Misaka's.' Misaka says as she clears a misunderstanding."

"…Who?"

The clone blinked twice, "'The spiky haired boy who saved Misaka and her Sisters.' Misaka explains as she states the obvious."

"Oh, that idiot… W-wait, what do you mean 'for his benefit'?" Mikoto demanded.

"'It's a secret.' Misaka states as she withholds the Savior's military [commando] girl preference from her meddlesome onee-sama."

Mikoto gaped at the look-alike, sparks escaping from her head as her face turned cherry red.

"'…Drat.' Misaka mutters as she laments her speech protocol."

"W-W-WHAT! YOU-!"

"'Please calm down, onee-sama.' Misaka suggests as she subtly reaches for the emergency call button."

"UGH! THAT BASTARD! HOW DARE HE TAINT MY SISTER? I'LL KILL HIM!"

"'Please refrain from harming the Savior!' Misaka pleads as she tries to pacify the original's jealousy!"

"I'M NOT JEALOUS, DAMN IT!"

The electrical equipment in the room barely made it through the rest of the visit.

* * *

_**At Yomikawa's Apartment**_

Once inside her bedroom, Yomikawa immediately stripped out of her Anti-Skill attire. Today had been hotter then usual, and despite its ventilation properties, the extra layers of body armor simply didn't help.

"You should probably close the door next time." Yoshikawa advised as she latched it shut behind her.

"Mhn, my bad. Guess I'm too used to living alone." Yomikawa lazily replied as she peeled off her undershirt.

To be honest, she didn't particularly care if any of her guests saw her or not. The only male present was Accelerator, and he was practically a-sexual as it was. She usually made a point of staying "presentable" out of courtesy, but that ended once she was in the privacy of her own bedroom.

Speaking of which…

"So, you need something?" she asked as she pulled a new shirt over her head.

"A drinking buddy."

Yomikawa threw the dirty uniform in her laundry basket before turning to face her blue haired companion. She spotted the a familiar bottle of booze on her person and frowned,

"…that's my emergency stash."

The scientist shrugged, "You looked like you needed a pick-me-up."

"So you're giving me my own alcohol…?"

"I'll be sure to get you a new one once I find a job."

Yomikawa sighed before finally accepting the offered bottle, making a mental note to find a better hiding spot, "The cups are in the night stand."

After about a minute they were both sitting silently on the side of the bed, drinking their respective shares. After awhile, Yoshikawa spoke up.

"You've been rather hard on him lately."

The busty Anti-Skill shot her an annoyed look, "So you're a theoretical physicist _and_ a psychologist? You really went the extra mile, didn't you Kikyou?"

Yoshikawa said nothing, leaving another awkward silence fill the air. Yomikawa finally relented after a few minutes, sighing and looking away from the researcher,

"Yea, I know I have… but how else do you get through to him? He blew up a school, Kikyou… I think I've been handling it rather well all considering. If it had been anyone else, I would have just thrown them in jail for a bit."

Yomikawa stopped and took a few swallows from her glass. Truthfully, she didn't think sending Accelerator to the slammer would have done any good in the first place, but that was beside the point.

"Maybe you could have put him on punishment?" Yoshikawa suggested her mouth twitching slightly as she tried to maintain a straight face.

"Good one." Yomikawa responded sarcastically, "Maybe I should have made him stand in the corner."

Yoshikawa just chuckled in response.

"Anyways," Yomikawa continued, "I was just trying to knock him down a few pegs. I had to deal with the school board _and_ Anti-Skill high command because _he_ decided to throw a hissy fit. _Somebody_ had to put him in his place. Maybe I could have handled it a bit better, but there comes a point where he needs to take some damned accountability. I nearly lost my job over the shitty brat, and yet he… what's so funny?"

"Oh, I was just amused at how defensive you're getting. I never meant anything by it; I was just trying to start a conversation." she explained, "By the way, you're starting to talk like him."

"Wonderful." Yomikawa remarked dryly, "You need to work on your icebreakers."

Yoshikawa smiled knowingly, "Maybe. Considering how spotless the room has been recently, I knew you were more preoccupied then what you were letting on.

Yomikawa flinched. She had a bad habit of cleaning things when she was stressed…

"…You really suck at this drinking buddy thing, you know that?" Yomikawa muttered grumpily.

Yoshikawa shrugged,

"Well, you seemed to have backed off of him a bit, so it looks like things have been resolved?" she half asked, half stated.

"Yea, I guess it has… it looks like Kamijou got a chance to talk things out with him. He doesn't look as tense any more."

"I see…"

Another long silence. Yomikawa didn't really mind it as much this time… the alcohol was starting to take effect, making her feel pleasantly warm and happy.

"He's different from what I thought he would be." Yoshikawa said after awhile.

"What are you talking about? He's always acted like a cocky little shit-"

"Not him, that Kamijou boy." Yoshikawa corrected, "He's very… unassuming. He doesn't seem like the type to recklessly take on Accelerator."

"Oh, him? Yea, Kamijou is definitely a drifter when he isn't in serious mode. It drives Komoe nuts." Yomikawa confirmed.

"Yes, he did seem different when we were explaining Accelerator's situation to him… so he performs poorly in school work?"

"Abysmally." Yomikawa emphasized, "He would be flunking if Komoe didn't have a soft spot for him."

"I see…"

Yomikawa peered at her friend,

"Why do you want to know anyway? Don't tell me you're interested in him?" she teased.

Yoshikawa smiled, not the least bit phased,

"Maybe. I've been woefully single for quite some time now, and I'm not getting any younger… you wont get jealous if I take him, right?" she joked back.

"Heh, into the young delinquent types, huh? Just remember, I saw him first."

"Duly noted."

They both chuckled for a bit before taking another gulp of their drinks.

"But in all seriousness, watch out for that kid. He's a natural born player if I ever saw one. I might have to start lumping you and Komoe together otherwise…"

Yoshikawa cocked an eyebrow at her, "Really? I wouldn't have thought that he'd be like that..."

"Oh, he doesn't _mean_ to, if that's what you were thinking. He has that weird charm about him that girl's cant seem to ignore. You can't really hate him for it… it just _happens_."

"Sounds like a real problem…" Yoshikawa commented idly.

"You have no idea… he's a monster. More then a third of the school has some sort of romantic interest in him. Hell, most of the faculty has fallen for the guy. And the worst part is, he doesn't even realize it. I dread the day one of the girl's work up the nerve to tell him… there will probably be a full scale riot."

Yoshikawa looked thoughtful for a minute "Hm… I suppose that would explain why some of sempai's aides were gossiping about him earlier…"

"Told you…"

Yomikawa went to take another drink from her glass, only to find that it was already empty. Making a sad noise she got up from the bed,

"Crap, this stuff is too good... and we're starting to get low on it too. You better get a job quick, Kikyou." Yomikawa told the unemployed scientist as she stowed the rest of the liquor in her usual hiding spot.

"Hah… I'll try." Yoshikawa replied, also standing up.

The two of them stretched before walking to the door. Yomikawa felt surprisingly refreshed after voicing her problems to her old friend. Or maybe she just had a bit of a buzz. Same thing, really.

The pleasant feel was immediately squashed the moment she left the sanctity of her bedroom.

"'Uwooo! Yomikawa, Accelerator vectored Misaka's food out the window!' Misaka complains as Misaka attempts to get back at the perpetrator!"

"Burnt horseshit doesn't qualify as food you brat! Why are you even trying to make something when you aren't capable to begin with? You'll burn the fucking place down!"

"'Y-You're palette just isn't refined enough to appreciate Misaka's cooking!' Misaka retorts as Misaka defends her creation!"

"That wasn't 'cooking', you shitty brat! How did you even manage to fuck up making toast in the first place? All you have to do is butter bread and put it in a toaster!"

"Uwoooo!"

"…Kikyou, pour me another glass." Yomikawa deadpanned.

The reserved researcher grinned before going back inside the room, and Yomikawa continued to play 'mom' for the remainder of the night.

* * *

_**Pierce's Dorm Room**_

"_See you next time on Magical Girl Kanamin!"_

Pierce listlessly turned off the TV. He was still tired from the community service, and still bummed about losing his lucky condom. Honestly, he just wanted to go to bed early.

But…

His cell phone began to ring. Pierce answered it on reflex, already knowing who the caller would be, "Hello?"

The familiar carefree voice of his mother met his ears, "Sup! Did you see how badass Kanamin was? She really laid down the hurt on Cipher!"

"Yea!" he responded with feigned excitement.

To be honest, he had hardly absorbed what had been going on in the new episode. But he always discussed the latest anime with his mother. It was an important ritual between the two of them, and he wasn't going to kill the mood just because he was feeling a little down.

However, his mom saw right through the act,

"What's wrong?" she immediately asked.

Pierce shifted guiltily on his small couch, "How'd you know?"

"It's the secret power of motherhood~" she replied easily, "But seriously, what's up? Did that community service stuff kick your ass or what?"

Pierce sighed, running a hand through his hair before he began speaking, "Kinda… we got beat up by rats…"

"…Rats?"

"Rats."

There was a brief moment of silence before she burst out laughing, "Pfffthahahahah! Seriously? That's so lame!"

"Thanks for the support, mom." Pierce grumbled sarcastically.

The happy-go-lucky woman got herself under control after a minute, switching to a soothing tone that couldn't quite mask the laughter still present in her voice,

"Well, I guess that _is_ pretty embarrassing, but really Aogami, it's not-"

"That's not the problem." Pierce interrupted, "I think… I think I lost my lucky condom…"

The cheerfulness in his mother's voice vanished, replaced instead by a sudden understanding,

"The one that grandpa gave you?" she asked quietly.

"Yea…" he answered dejectedly. The lucky condom was the only thing that his grandpa had left him before his sudden disappearance. His own legacy, made physical. Naturally, Pierce was strongly attached to it.

He could clearly remember the day he had received it…

* * *

**Flashback**

"I-it's not like I made this for you or anything… I… I just… I just made too much! Geez! J-just take it already!"

Pierce stared flatly at the offered lunch, "Mom. Seriously, stop it."

His mother made a loud 'hmph' noise,

"Fine! Do what you want! Just don't slow me down! I-I won't wait for you, so you better hurry up! Idiot!" she yelled before she stomped out of the kitchen.

Pierce stared after her uneasily before he turned in the opposite direction, deciding to get his other mother's help.

Pierce's family was a bit different from most in that he had two moms instead of one. But while he considered them both to be his mothers, he had separated the two of them into different "mom and dad zones". The one who had just left, who he had placed in the "dad" category (as far as work went anyway), was the main bread winner of the household. She was a very hardworking woman, and was also a bit strict, especially when it came to his school work. Sometimes, she was also a little… clumsy… when it came to expressing herself, occasionally getting worked up over trivial things. Pierce had long since learned that she tended to act rashly when she was in this state, which could be pretty dangerous depending on the circumstance.

His other mom was, for all intents and purposes, the complete opposite. Care-free, lazy, and an avid gaming/anime enthusiast, she had a very relaxed parenting style that clashed spectacularly with her partner's. Surprisingly, while she had no official job, she still raked in a fairly large amount of money via various video game tournaments. Unsurprisingly, most of said money was used to fuel her hobbies.

Pierce found her passed out on the couch, her game controller still in her hands as she snoozed. After prodding her for a few seconds she finally awoke, her eyes opening halfway as she regarded her adopted son.

"Mornin'." she said with a yawn, sleepily pushing herself into an upright position, "What do you want for breakfast today?"

"Uh, actually… mom already took care of that… and she's acting really weird again…" Pierce replied hesitantly.

The tired woman rubbed at her eyes with a frown, "Acting weird?"

"Yea… she's forcing me to go to school with her, but then acting like she doesn't want to at the same time…"

"Oh dear… hold on, I'll sort this out in a sec."

A few minutes later, Pierce was following his half-awake mother to the garage, where his other mother was still waiting in the car (despite saying earlier that she wouldn't). She glanced in the direction of her partner before turning away in a huff, "What do you want?"

The shorter woman cocked an eyebrow, "So I heard you want to take Aogami to school today…"

"I-It's not like I wanted to take him, you just were too busy sleeping to do it! Don't misunderstand things, stupid!" the taller one snapped.

"…Yea, you're acting _way_ to tsundere to drive. Give me the keys."

"No! I'm not tsundere!"

"That's the pigtails talking, hun… I mean, your forehead is exposed and everything… I'm not letting you drive around while you're under the tsundere influence. You could kill someone."

"T-There's nothing wrong with pigtails! And stop calling me that! You don't know anything!"

The gamer girl began to argue back, but then stopped as a look of realization dawned upon her,

"Ohhhh… I get it."

"W-what?"

The lazy mom gave her partner a look of understanding, "I've been preparing for the next fighting tournament lately… you must have been lonely… Sorry, I goofed…"

The pigtailed tsundere flushed red, "I am _not_ l-lonely! Why are you even saying such embarrassing- Hey! What the hell are you doing?"

"There, there, you just need some _morning stretches_ to make you feel better~" the shorter girl winked as she tried to pull her out of the vehicle.

"Let go of me you pervert! I'm not leaving this car!"

"Hmm, good idea, we've never done it in a car before… alright then, I'm coming in~"

"W-w-wait! Stop it! Listen to me! I told you to- _Where the hell do you think you're putting your hand_?"

"Nyo ho ho, you're so cute when you resist~"

"What kind of rapist are you? I still have to go into work! S-s-stop you dummy! People will see us! Mnnh! N-no!"

Pierce was suddenly grabbed from behind and strong armed back inside the house, leaving the two lovers to work out their problems. Pierce looked up to see a wizened man shutting the door firmly, "Grandpa?"

"You need to give your mom's their privacy, Aogami." the older man told the boy.

His grandfather suddenly adopted a thoughtful look, "Say, has anyone ever explained the birds and the bees to you?"

"Uh… no, not formally, anyways…" Pierce answered truthfully, "But I think I've got the gist of it…"

His grandfather his head, "No, no, that won't do. You can't possibly understand something as complex as sex unless it's explained through inter-species bestiality between a bird and a bee. Sit down, I'll set things straight."

"But… I have to go to school…" Pierce reminded.

"I'll just call in and say you were sick." he replied, waving off the excuse, "Besides, the car is probably going to be 'in use' for awhile anyways…"

Pierce grinned, happy to skip school. He set down his backpack and clambered onto the chair across from his grandpa, blissfully unaware of the mental trauma in store for him.

"Alright, first things first..." the elderly man began as he tossed a small packet to the impressionable boy. Pierce quickly caught it in the air and held it in front of his eyes so he could examine it better.

"A condom?" Pierce asked.

"My own personal brand." the elderly pervert confirmed with pride, "This one is special though… high caliber stuff. Only ever made two of them to this 'strength'. Was probably half the reason why I was able to snag her…"

The man stared off into the distance, reminiscing about his late wife.

"…You make condoms…?" Pierce repeated, still caught up on the revelation.

"It's a noble hobby. Gotta get extra cash for my eroge's somehow, right? Just make sure you save that for a special occasion… trust me, it's a lady killer. But enough of that, we have to go over the basics first!"

The old man settled down a bit and began his tale, "Alright, once upon a time, there was this manly bee. He was cruising around doing awesome bee things when he spotted this _fine_ looking bird. Admittedly, he was pretty shit-faced, but anyways…"

* * *

Pierce slowly faded back to the present. The custom condom was his grandfather's way of acknowledging him as a man. Mental scaring aside, it was one of his fondest childhood memories. Perhaps it was a bit silly to others, but it held great meaning to Pierce.

"I'm sorry honey…" his mom said in a sympathetic tone.

"Not your fault." Pierce grumbled back.

There was a long silence before his mom finally decided to break it, "Well, brooding on it won't do any good, so buck up! I'm sure that's what grandpa would say... no matter what, he'll always be in your heart, Aogami."

Pierce smiled at the cliché line, "Yea, I know… I'll get over it. Can't get behind on my maho shoujo just because I screwed up, right?"

"That's what I like to hear! But seriously, if there's something wrong don't hesitate to call me, ok?"

Pierce paused for a moment, glancing at the mysterious welt on his arm. For a moment he considered tell her about the strange mark, the weird disappearing panties, and his inexplicable spaghetti displacement… but decided to keep it to himself for now. For some reason, he felt that this was something he had to personally take care of.

"I'll do that." he finally answered.

There was a tiny lull before she replied, "Alright… give me a call once you watch Kanamin for real, ok?"

"Definitely."

They quickly said their goodbyes and hung up. Pierce went to the option menu on his TV and dutifully brought up the recording of Kamanin (he recorded all of his shows, just in case). His mother had probably realized that he was still hiding things from her, but had decided not to pry further. He felt bad about it, but it was what it was.

Pushing the play button, he sat back and watched the cheerful opening. It may not be much, but he would make sure that she didn't have to wait too long for his call back.

* * *

_**Tsuchimikado's Dorm Room**_

"GRAAHHH TOUMA YOU IDIOT!"

"FUKOU DAAAAA!"

Tsuchimikado tiredly opened his eyes, automatically reaching out to his night stand with his left hand.

While living the life of a triple agent, Tsuchimikado had developed a very keen sense of hearing… if someone was trying to sneak into his room, he would awake ready for action. It was a very useful skill to have… but also lead to a significantly reduced amount of "restful sleep" overall.

Unfortunately, Touma wasn't exactly the quietest neighbor in the world, especially so when Index was pissed at him. Night time shenanigans like this were not uncommon, to say the least.

As his left hand groped in the dark for his ear buds, Tsuchimikado distinctly heard the sound of Touma's glass screen shattering. It quieted down for a split second before Touma started yelling again.

"Is that… toast? How can toast break a window! That velocity was ridiculous!"

"Uwaa, it tastes bad…"

"Don't eat it you stupid nun-! OWWW, I'M NOT FOOD EITHER, DAMN IT!"

The rest of the conversation was stifled as Tsuchimikado jammed his ear buds into his ears. The blonde smiled sleepily at the silence that they offered and slowly drifted back to sleep.

Peace was truly a beautiful thing.

* * *

**Author's Note:** No, I'm not dead.

No, I won't stop updating, as I have invested WAY too much daydreaming time into coming up with new ideas.

Yes, I am a lazy bastard that types horribly slow.

I know it's been awhile, so I would suggest rereading some chapters... some people may be wondering about the whole "commando" thing, which was from last chapter.

In other news, windows system 32 decided to go full retard on my laptop, so I guess I'll be writing in a computer lab until I figure out how to fix it.

Chapter 4 is half written as of now. Expect it sometime within the next decade.


	6. Chapter 4: Eve of the Festival  Part 1

Eleven months worth of lazy writing made a glopping noise as it flowed endlessly onto UnluckyStar's readers...

* * *

.

**Chapter 4: Eve of the Festival - Part 1**

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* * *

He awoke to his cell phone ringing.

At six in the morning.

On a fucking _Sunday_.

Accelerator clawed at his phone in the semi-darkness, attempting to silence it… and inadvertently knocked it off his nightstand and out of his reach.

"God… fucking… DAMN IT."

Infuriated, he was forced to clamber out of his warm bed and stagger through the cold morning air to retrieve the wayward communicator. Snatching it off the floor, Accelerator jammed the receiver into his ear, swearing swift death to whoever was on the other end of the line,

"_Who the __**fuck**__ is this?"_

"Sup bro!" came the sing song voice of Aogami Pierce.

Accelerator immediately hung up and threw his phone across the room. It hit the wall with a dull thump before bouncing somewhere behind his desk. He slowly crawled back into the comfort of his bed, satisfied that the problem was taken care of.

…A heartbeat later, his phone started ringing again. And again. And again…

Fuck modern science for making Academy City cell phones nearly indestructible.

His phone finally went silent after the fifth consecutive missed call. Accelerator relaxed under the covers. He was going to fucking murder the shithead later, but first he needed sleep…

Just as he was about to drift off again, his bedroom door slammed open. A teenage girl that looked roughly his age walked in, sporting a shirt that was several times too large for her. Judging from the glazed look in her eyes, it was obvious that she had just gotten up.

"Yooooo." she yawned, lazily scratching at her tousled brown hair.

Accelerator's mood was getting shittier by the second.

"Get the fuck-!"

"You got a call." she interrupted. Without waiting for a response, she tossed her cell phone at him. With another yawn she shuffled out, shutting the door behind her.

Accelerator barely caught the still-open phone as it sailed right above his head, swearing savagely into the receiver. The voice of the persistent pervert greeted him once again,

"Hey man, I think we had some interference or-"

"Do you have any fucking idea what time it is!" Accelerator screamed, "Why the fuck do you have her number!"

"She offered it to me." Pierce answered with pride, "She said something about trying to annoy you with it."

"…Then why in the _fuck_ would you give it to her anyway?"

"A man doesn't turn down a girl that wants to exchange numbers."

Accelerator had to make a conscious effort to not flip on his switch and crush the phone with his bare hands.

"Look man, I'm sorry I called so late, but this is important! I need to let you know about something." Pierce interjected.

Perhaps it was due to Pierce's bizarre statement about it being "late", or maybe he had been rendered speechless from sheer rage… for whatever reason, Accelerator was having trouble articulating his unbridled hatred towards the blue haired idiot.

The momentary lapse in insults left Pierce enough time to continue talking,

"So yea, basically I bought this sweet magical girl Kanamin battle uniform, but I had to be out of town today because I'm cheering for my mom at a fighting game tournament. But I didn't want them to just leave it by the doorstep, cuz' someone might steal it. So I mailed it to your address instead; that way you can just hold on to it for me until I get back tomorrow. I put it under your name too, so there shouldn't be any problem. That's cool with you, right?"

Accelerator was midway through telling Pierce to go fuck himself, but stopped as he realized a crucial part of what Pierce had just said.

"…"

"Uh… hello? You there man?"

Without saying a word, Accelerator dropped the phone and got out of bed. He grabbed his cane and flung his bedroom door open, bee lining straight for the front door of his apartment. It was still early, so the bitch probably went back to bed. As long as he could destroy the freak's package before-

His thoughts ground to a halt as he beheld package stuffing strewn across the front entrance. A small box sat to the side, completely empty.

And in the middle of it all she sat, looking as if Christmas had come several months early as she held up a magical girl outfit. The teenage girl looked up at him, grinning as hard as humanly possible,

"Accelerator wants to be a magical girl?" she asked with sadistic delight.

**Fuck everything.**

* * *

**Friday, September 18**

* * *

"Please, wake up!"

Touma slowly opened his eyes. The green haired woman from yesterday swam into view above him. What was her name again? Terra? Therestina? No, that didn't sound right…

Tessou. Yea, that was it. Tessou the timid Anti-Skill. The same woman who woke him up for community service yesterday… and today, apparently. She must have been assigned to get him every morning. She was pretty close to his face though… not that he was complaining or anything. Man, she was really cute now that he had a good look at her…

Wait a minute. No, that was wrong. He had been up when they had come for him today. Then why…

Touma blinked, realizing with a start that he was not in his bathroom, his dorm room, or even inside a building at all. Blue sky stretched beyond Tessou's messy green hair as she looked down at him with a panicked expression. He also became distinctly aware that his mouth tasted like copper.

"A-Are you ok?" Tessou asked frantically.

Touma tried to say he was fine, but instead groaned as he grew increasingly more aware of the pain in his head and back. His head lolled to his right, where he saw Pierce laying in a heap.

What the hell had happened to them?

His question was answered immediately. Touma heard footsteps from behind Tessou, though he couldn't move his neck far enough to see the one responsible for them. Tessou must had heard them as well, since she turned away from his view,

"Y-You can't! You can't assault civilians!" she protested, utterly failing at hiding the panic in her voice.

"M-Moe…" Pierce commented before coughing up blood and going still.

But Touma paid no heed to Pierce's words. Marching right past Tessou, his attacker came into view. Touma's eyes widened in horror as everything rushed back to him.

* * *

_**Flashback, 7:27 AM**_

The Anti-Skill van had come to a complete stop. Touma stretched as Tessou got up to open the double doors to the van, vainly attempting to wake up for the long day of work he had ahead of him.

"Didn't get much sleep, Kami-yan?" Tsuchimikado asked cheerfully from across the other side of the van.

Touma cast a bleary eye towards the blonde spy, "You could say that…"

Putting aside the multiple head bites and the mysterious toast that shattered his screen door, Touma's sleep cycle had been hampered by a myriad of bizarre dreams. Most of which was from the perspective of Accelerator, which he found rather disturbing.

"Nya, it must be tough living with a girl." the blonde said wisely, "I'll lend you some of my stash when we get back tonight."

Touma looked curiously at his friend as he unbuckled himself from his seat, "Stash of what?"

Tsuchimikado looked thoughtful for a moment, "Well, most of what I got focuses on maids and little sisters, but I also have a few of the 'Erotic Espers' series, which would probably suit you since it has lots of older-"

"I don't want any of that crap!" Touma hissed, trying to keep Tessou from overhearing. The last thing he needed was more bad rumors being spread around.

Tsuchimikado flashed him a knowing grin, not bothering to keep his voice down at all, "There's nothing to be ashamed of man; guys have their needs. Just make sure you return them once you're about to make your move on one of your-"

Touma punched at Tsuchimikado in annoyance, trying to get blonde to shut up. Unfortunately for him, the grinning idiot dodged at the last second. Touma's fist connected with the side of the van with a dull thump, leaving him to yelp in pain at his own self-inflicted injury. Tessou turned around with a bewildered expression, not knowing what had just transpired between the two of them,

"I-Is something wro-?"

"Owwww! God damn it Tsuchimikado!"

"Hey, it's not my fault that you swung at me. There's no need to act like that just because you're having a dry spell Kami-yan."

"You-! You're doing this on purpose you bastard!"

"What's going on in there?" Yomikawa barked from outside the van. Tessou looked extremely relieved at her interruption.

Touma gulped; after getting to know the older woman a bit more from yesterday, he could tell that she was a kind, reasonable person. Still, he didn't want to see her pissed off if he could help it.

"I-It's nothing…" he replied.

"Good to hear. Now get moving, there's plenty of work that needs done."

Grumbling to himself, Touma filed behind the others and to make his exit. He caught Accelerator smirking at him in the corner of his eye, ignoring Last Order who was bouncing around beside him. Tsuchimikado still had a stupid grin plastered across his face, and Pierce was too preoccupied with jealously watching Last Order and Accelerator's interactions to care.

Sometimes, he really wondered at his own choice in friends. Well, Accelerator wasn't exactly his friend. But he didn't consider him his enemy either. And with what all that had transpired between them, they were more than just acquaintances…

They were just… neutral. At least, that's how it seemed they were treating each other for now. Though he had a sneaking suspicion that the temperamental Level 5 still held a grudge against him, considering how Accelerator seemed to derive pleasure from his misfortune… Or maybe Accelerator was just like that to everyone?

Well, it hardly mattered anyway. He wasn't too interested in guessing at Accelerator's motivations and quirks, sleep deprived as he was.

Once outside, Touma noted that there were significantly less Anti-Skill guarding the group than there had been yesterday… in fact, only Tessou and Yomikawa were with them at the moment. He guessed that they had been pulled off of patrol duty in order to help out with the festival. It _was_ tomorrow, after all.

After the five of them were assembled (he had left Index home today, now that he had food in the refrigerator), Yomikawa began her run-down of the situation,

"As you know, Daihaseisai starts tomorrow. So for today's community service, you will be helping with the preparations." she explained, "Pierce, Tsuchimikado, and Kamijou will go with Tessou. She'll lead you to a Daihaseisai committee coordinator, which is who you will be taking orders from. Accelerator and Last Order will come with me."

"Why am I the only one who has to deal with your bullshit?" Accelerator demanded.

"Well, you seemed so _eager_ to use your powers yesterday, so I thought we'd put you to good use. It should be easy for you, right?" Yomikawa replied easily. Touma noticed that her smile grew a bit as she answered…

"Tch, whatever." Accelerator responded, looking none too pleased about the current situation. Last Order was a ball of energy like always, barely listening to what the older woman had to say.

"Well then, if you all understand then get moving. We have another long day ahead of us." Yomikawa concluded. She beckoned Accelerator to follow her, who grudgingly obliged after a few muttered curses. Last Order quickly followed suit, skipping alongside her two guardians.

Touma glanced at his own supervisor. The green haired woman winced at the eye contact and immediately looked towards the ground.

She was so timid… it was hard to imagine that Tessou was a legitimate member of Anti-Skill. She looked the type that would break at the first sign of conflict. Still, she must have made a good impression on somebody. How else could she have been allowed to join?

While he was busy wondering at her qualifications, Tessou decided to take the initiative,

"Um… we need to meet up with your committee coordinator… so, u-um… please follow me…?" she trailed off, directing her half command, half question at him.

…Well, he guessed the circumstances didn't really matter. Judging from her inexperience she was likely a rookie, so why not help boost her confidence a bit?

"Yes ma'am, lead the way."Touma replied with an unnecessary amount of formality. Tessou blinked in surprise before stumbling over her next sentence,

"Oh, thank… I mean, yes! Yes, right this way!" she corrected with a sudden enthusiasm that she hadn't displayed before. The green haired woman gestured for the group to follow behind her as she took off toward their destination. As she walked off, Touma noticed that a small, determined smile had overtaken her usual worried expression.

Well, that had certainly gone well.

Smiling inwardly at his own sense of accomplishment, Touma fell into place behind her. Meanwhile, Pierce and Tsuchimikado sidled up next to him,

"Dude, she's so damn _moe_!" Pierce whispered excitedly into his ear, "No wonder you're going after her so aggressively!"

"Nya, older girls are a critical hit for Kami-yan after all." Tsuchimikado added, elbowing him in the ribs.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm sure both of you are misreading the situation like always…" Touma deadpanned.

"Don't play dumb! You were totally sweet talking her, you bastard!" Pierce accused.

Touma responded with a long, heavy sigh. He was just too tired to argue, or even care about arguing with these two idiots. Maybe if he kept his mouth shut, they'd drop it…

Unfortunately for him, the two continued to keep the conversation alive without his input,

"Why'd she only ask Kami-yan to follow her anyway?" Tsuchimikado wondered aloud, "She didn't even include us…"

"Isn't it obvious? He's already down her route. He must have gotten some flags in from yesterday when I wasn't looking." Pierce answered matter-of-factly.

"Or maybe it's because I don't act like a suspicious delinquent or a pervert." Touma grumbled.

"Hey! Don't compare me to such a low standard! I am a perverted gentleman!" Pierce replied indignantly.

"They're the same thing."

"There's a _huge _difference! In the first place, a perverted gentlemen-"

"Fine, whatever. I don't care." Touma groaned, cutting Pierce off before he could go into the nuances of perversion.

Pierce gave him a rather put-off look, but switched subjects anyway,

"But seriously Kami-yan, I really gotta question the way you're handling your flags this time." Pierce commented as he folded his arms on his chest.

"I'm not raising any flags to begin with…"

Pierce continued on as if he hadn't heard him,

"I mean, your timing is spot on, but the way you are approaching her is detrimental to the route in itself. You should be working towards being her equal, not her subordinate." Pierce explained in an uncharacteristically wise fashion.

"Wouldn't it be good for Kami-yan to work his way up to her, since she's older?" Tsuchimikado asked out of curiosity.

Pierce wagged his finger in a knowing manner, "That's standard procedure for the typical 'older girl' route, yes. But her occupation fundamentally changes that scenario."

"What do you mean?"

Pierce began to warm up to the subject, "When you aim for an older girl in games, the distance in status between you and the target usually determines how the route plays out. For example, if you are going for the 'older sister' type, you must first be recognized by your target as the 'younger brother' type before you can start progressing the relationship. This is standard strategy because it operates off of starting in the target's comfort zone, which promotes route stability and minimizes the chances of flag reversal as you build your way up to her notice. The challenge from that approach centers heavily on transitioning from the friendzone and into a more intimate status."

Pierce flicked his hand, as if tossing aside what he had just said, "However certain occupations, usually those of authority, can really slow down your flag building. Miss Moe-Skill over there is a law enforcer and probably a teacher as well. Her occupations primarily focus on acting as a pseudo-parent towards people who younger than her. Another way to look at it is that she deals with people _just like us_ on a daily basis. It is extremely hard for someone like her to see Kami-yan as anything more than just another student or delinquent. Thus, it will take an _enormous_ amount of time and events to change a once firm and familiar relationship into something else."

"So instead, Kami-yan needs avoid getting into that friend zone in the first place and work towards being recognized as an equal from the very beginning. It runs the risk of putting her outside of her comfort zone, but at this point it's worth it. If he doesn't stand out and becomes just another student or problem child, then he will have to work much, much harder to finish the route." Pierce concluded.

"So Kami-yan is messing up his chances because he isn't sticking out enough?" Tsuchimikado summed up.

The blue haired galge gamer shrugged, "From the way it's looking, Kami-yan seems to be trying to go the long route since he just set up an event that reinforces his 'subordinate' role rather than distinguishing himself from it. Honestly, I expected better play style from someone as seasoned as he is, but maybe he has something up his sleeve that I'm just not seeing yet."

"Or maybe I'm not going for anyone and you're reading way too much into this." Touma tiredly pointed out. Honestly, if Pierce put half the effort into his studies he that he put into galge games, he'd probably have skipped a grade or two.

Pierce gave him a look of disbelief, "What, you're saying she's not your type or something? I thought you were into older girls."

"I never said she wasn't attractive…" Touma grumbled.

In fact, Tessou was pretty cute in his opinion. He normally went for the more 'Onee-san' motherly types, but there was something about her awkwardness that was endearing to him. Not to mention that she had a particularly nice figure…

Touma suddenly realized that his eyes were lingering on Tessou's backside for a bit longer than appropriate… particularly on her butt. He quickly adverted his gaze.

"Nya, your eyes sure are honest Kami-yan."

"Go to hell."

As if on cue, Tessou stopped and turned to face them,

"Your committee coordinator should be here any minute now, so um… we'll just wait here until she comes." she announced.

"Oh uh… ok, thanks." Touma replied awkwardly, suddenly very much aware of how cute her messy hair and glasses made her look. Trying to preoccupy his wondering mind, Touma looked at his surroundings.

Academy City had been transformed from what it was a few days prior. Colorful stalls lined the streets, prepared by students who hoped to glean a profit from the upcoming festival. Most of them were already up for tomorrow's opening day, but Touma could make out a few students in the distance, hurriedly setting up their attractions for the big day.

Touma sighed unhappily. Had this disaster never happened, he would have been spending his day off scouting out which stalls had the best deals on food. If he pitched in to help the students working at the last minute, he even might have been able to get a discount. It would have certainly helped to stretch what limited money he had.

Instead, he was stuck with Tsuchimikado and Pierce for the whole day. He supposed it was an upgrade from yesterday; they were easier to talk to then Accelerator. But dealing with their antics on less than four hours of sleep was an exercise in patients all the same. More of an exercise than usual, anyway.

"So is our coordinator a girl?" Pierce asked, detracting from Touma's thoughts.

Tessou nodded, "She's about your age."

"Cool. What's she like?"

Tessou apparently saw nothing wrong with Pierce's line of questioning,

"I heard she's a very hard worker and that she's been instrumental to this area's preparation. We have a lot less 'last minute' problems this year than we did last year." Tessou explained.

Her face suddenly lit up,

"If you're interested in that sort of thing, I'm sure you could ask her about it. I think being involved with school activities would be a wonderful experience for you!" Tessou advised enthusiastically, as if she was trying to straighten out a troubled delinquent.

Pierce just shrugged, "I don't know about that. I'm already class rep, but the parameters are different than what I was expecting. Anime makes student council look a lot more fun than it really is."

Tessou gave him a bizarre look, but decided to hold her tongue, "I see…"

She was probably wondering how someone like Pierce could possibly land the position of class rep… something that Touma had also wondered about quite a few times. Of course, it's not like Pierce acted like one anyway; as far as Touma could tell, he hadn't lifted a finger concerning Daiha-

Fear suddenly griped Touma's heart. He knew something was wrong, that he had subconsciously picked up on something dangerous. He had yet to fully understand it, but he had no doubt he was right.

Run. He had to run. Something terrible would happen if he didn't-

"Oh look, there she is!" Tessou suddenly spoke up, looking right past his shoulder. Following her line of sight, Touma turned his head…

The girl was approximately ten meters away. Blue uniform. Long black hair. Large forehead. Massive bust size. Touma's throat went dry as he realized the source of his irrational fear.

Fukiyose Seiri, the Iron Wall.

She was going to kill them. There was nothing uncertain about it. After what they had done to the school, there was just no way that someone as straight-laced as Fukiyose would let them go unpunished.

Touma began to backpedal out of reflex, but knew intellectually that it was already too late.

One step. Fukiyose was already in punching range of Pierce, who was still turning his head to look her way. The poor bastard wouldn't even know what hit him. Tsuchimikado was attempting to run in the opposite direction. He must have seen her right before Tessou did.

Two steps. Gone. Pierce was gone. His body had flown outside of Touma's peripheral vision. Fukiyose had already grabbed Tsuchimikado by the leg and was yanking him back towards her.

Two and a half steps. Tsuchimikado was stomped into the ground by Fukiyose. He swore he saw the ground crack underneath the blonde's corpse. Now she was looking directly at him-!

As soon as he completed his third step, Touma kicked off the ground with all his strength. He had no delusions of dodging Fukiyose. This was simply a method to reduce the amount of force her punch would deliver. He brought up his hands to guard his-

"GAHK!" Touma gurgled as Fukiyose straight-punched him in the jaw. Stars exploded in his head as he arced in the air. After a few seconds of hang time, he felt himself crashing back to the earth. All thoughts escaped his mind as he landed head-first into something particularly hard, and his world turned black…

* * *

Touma faded back to the present, staring right into the eyes of a supremely pissed off Fukiyose Seiri. Ignoring the protesting Tessou, the busty class rep grabbed and lifted him by his throat, forcing his body into a standing position. Touma tapped her shoulder wildly, trying to signal that he had given up. Fukiyose only increased the pressure, her face even and unyielding.

"Kamijou Touma." she began, fixing him with a stare that could freeze helium, "While I believe you are not innocent in this incident, I also believe that the three of you are not capable of demolishing a school by yourself."

Fukiyose's grip got even tighter, "You will tell me who was responsible for its destruction."

Left with little choice, Touma hurriedly choked out a name,

"A-Accelerator…ghk!… did it…"

Fukiyose's eyes narrowed, "Are you making fun of me? Why would the Accelerator be involved?"

"Don't know…hnug!..new…student...gnff!" Touma gasped. His vision was becoming cloudier and cloudier…

"He's telling the truth! Accelerator was the one behind it!" Tsuchimikado vouched from where he lay.

"Y-Yea! He was the one that was destroying everything! He's also doing community service! White hair, red eyes, you can't miss him!" Pierce added hastily.

Fukiyose stared at Touma for a moment, trying to discern whether or not he was leading her on. After what seemed like forever, she finally relented and let go of his neck. He dropped to the ground, coughing and sputtering as he gasped for oxygen. After several deep breaths of precious air, Touma shakily looked back up at towering Iron Wall.

"The three of you, stand up." she ordered.

Touma gulped but did as he was told. Pierce and Tsuchimikado mimicked him.

The busty class rep began her speech without preamble,

"Personally, I want to relieve some pent up stress and beat the snot out of the three of you in the name of our student body."

The three of them flinched.

"…Unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of doing so when Daihaseisai's right around the corner. We are still behind schedule, and I need extra hands to make sure everything gets done in time."

Fukiyose gestured towards a crate next to Tsuchimikado,

"The street we are on will be hosting a parade tomorrow. We need to make sure that people don't accidently clog the road. Your job is to set up 'no access' signs every five meters along both sides of the street. There should be several in the box."

She looked over at Tessou, acknowledging her for the first time,

"The parade stretches for eight kilometers, so what we have won't be enough to cover the entire route. You will supervise Pierce and Tsuchimikado setting up what we have, while Kamijou goes to get more. If they give you trouble, let me know."

Tessou, who was still considerably shaken from the events that had just transpired, gave a hesitant 'yes'. She opened her mouth as if to protest something, but Fukiyose cut her off,

"I need to take care of a few things. I'll be back in thirty minutes." she concluded before locking on to Touma, "The extra signs are located at the staging area near Seventh Mist. If you have not returned with the signs by the time I get back, I will fetch you myself. _Do I make myself clear_?"

"Y-Yea, crystal…" Touma stuttered.

Fukiyose stepped forward, jutting her finger into his chest, "And don't think I've forgotten about this Accelerator business either, Kamijou. I will be expecting a detailed explanation once I return."

"Ok…" he managed.

With that, Fukiyose turned on her heel and stalked off. Touma's shoulders drooped as he watched her leave. Knowing Fukiyose, she would go to any means to track down and reprimand the Level 5 perpetrator…

Poor, poor Accelerator.

Ignoring the throbbing pain in his head, he set out towards Seventh Mist, lest he incur the continued wrath of the Iron Wall.

* * *

_**The Site of the Fukiyose Massacre, 7:53 AM**_

"...And then this guy has the nerve to say that _I_ suck at the game when I asked him to stop last-hitting my mobs and stealing all my hard earned experience!" Pierce complained as he plopped down the last 'no access' sign that was available.

Tsuchimikado frowned, just barely hearing Pierce's gaming story over the ringing in his left ear. Fukiyose had really smacked him good this time.

"Nya, that's stupid. What did you do?" he asked, looking around to make sure they had placed the signs exactly how Fukiyose had wanted it. Wouldn't want to risk pissing her off again...

The blue-haired gamer folded his arms in front of him, "Well to begin with, I was trying to help out some lower levels I had just met. The only reason I didn't kill the mobs outright was because I was holding back to let them get the last kill and the experience. Personally, I was way over leveled to be there in the first place. But the guy who was kill stealing didn't know that."

A smug grin appeared on Pierce's face, "So I told him 'Your ass is grass, and I'm gonna smoke it!' and equipped all my good weapons. He started running when he realized he was being targeted by-"

"Wait, wait." Tsuchimikado interrupted, "Pierce, the phrase is 'Your ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower'. The only type of 'grass' people smoke is weed."

Pierce looked a bit put off, "What does it matter? You get the point."

"I dunno Pierce, it can be taken the wrong way. You sounded like you wanted to smoke his ass. And that sounds pretty gay, just saying…"

Pierce looked horrified, "What the hell, seriously?"

"It definitely doesn't sound hetero."

The blue haired gamer groaned in despair, "But I've been saying that online for ages! It's practically my in-game catchphrase! How many people... Ugh, no wonder I keep getting asked to cyber with guys... they probably all think I'm gay..."

"Nya, and then you reject them all. You're such a tease Pierce." Tsuchimikado snickered.

"Shut up man..."

Their conversation came to a halt as a quiet cough caught their attention. They both turned and regarded Tessou, who had been waiting for a chance to interject.

She took their silence as her cue to speak up, "Are you done setting up the signs?"

"Nya, we just finished." Tsuchimikado replied, "Should we just wait on Kami-yan to get back?"

Tessou thought for a moment, then nodded, "Yes, I don't think you can do much else. You should probably take a break until then."

"Sounds good to me!" Pierce responded cheerfully.

"Hmmm..."

The bespectacled Anti-Skill seemed to hesitate for a moment before finally asking,

"Are... Are you sure you two are alright? That Fukiyose girl really... erm... well, you seem injured before, so..." Tessou trailed off, a look of concern dominating her face.

Tsuchimikado shrugged, "It's nothing we can't handle."

"Yea, we're fine." Pierce reassured, "We're used to her beating us up."

The normally timid Anti-Skill made a disapproving face, and let lose everything she had been holding back since Fukiyose's departure,

"You shouldn't get 'used to' such things! I-If you're getting bullied by her, you can always come talk to me!" she declared earnestly. "And if she's threatening you with her authority, Anti-Skill is far above her in the chain of command!"

Tsuchimikado raised an eyebrow at the sudden outburst. And here he had her pegged as the super shy type...

Pierce waved aside her concerns, "No, no, you've got it all wrong. Fukiyose isn't bullying us; she's our friend. It's not like she's seriously hurting us or anything."

Tessou didn't seem convinced, "But you were limping earlier... and look, your hand is all torn up!"

Tsuchimikado followed her gaze. Just as she had claimed, there was quite a bit of dried blood on the back of Pierce's left hand.

Pierce looked at his own arm in surprise before a look of realization dawned on him,

"Ah, that stupid welt from yesterday probably reopened or something." he concluded, licking the tip of his thumb and using it to wipe off the red-brown substance, "It doesn't even... Hm? Hold on, what the hell?"

Pierce made a perplexed expression as he continued to rub the back of his hand with his thumb, "What is this...?"

"What's what?" Tsuchimikado asked.

Pierce stopped rubbing his hand and held it out for the two of them to see. Tsuchimikado leaned in to take a closer look. Most of the blood had been wiped away, but he could see another mark was set underneath it. He squinted; it was faded, but it appeared to be...

"...Why do you have striped panties painted on the back of your hand?" Tsuchimikado questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Y-You shouldn't get tattoos!" Tessou added, a bit pink in the face, "It makes getting a job much more difficult, and you'll be associated with gangs, and-!"

"I didn't get a tattoo!" Pierce protested, "I never left my house last night!"

"Then you drew it on yourself?" Tsuchimikado offered, still gazing at Pierce's hand. For whatever reason, the body art struck him funny. It was almost as if...

...Nah, couldn't be.

"Of course I didn't!" Pierce insisted.

"Then how did it get on your hand, nya?"

Pierce sighed, "Dude, I don't know... maybe it has something to do with the panties from the other day..."

"I thought your panties were supposed to be in your refrigerator?" Tsuchimikado commented sardonically.

The underlying sarcasm was apparently lost on the blue haired pervert,

"Yea, but I didn't see them at all yesterday... hey, maybe they're like my familiar or something?" Pierce pondered, slowly rubbing at his hand.

"Yea, I'm sure that's it Pierce. A pair of panties are your familiar." Tsuchimikado agreed, unable to hide his smirk at friend's delusional antics.

Pierce pouted a little,

"Yea, I guess not. Panties aren't intelligent enough to communicate with humans." he wisely reasoned, "Well whatever, I'd want a dinosaur familiar anyway."

"Nya, wouldn't we all."

"Hell yea man, dinosaurs are awesome." Pierce agreed, setting aside the mysterious panty issue on his hand, "There needs to be more dinosaur familiars in mahou shoujos. A stegosaurs familiar would actually be able to mess shit up and help the girl in battle instead of being a useless ferret or whatever."

"That or a pack of raptors. That would be pretty cool." Tsuchimikado suggested, going along with his friend's ramblings.

"Oh yea, definitely... man we should write in to the Magical Girl Kanamin producers. These are some legit ideas! They could also..."

Tsuchimikado glanced at Tessou as Pierce began to hash out the various benefits of introducing dinosaurs into magical girl shows. Judging from her expression, she was completely and utterly lost.

Well that certainly worked in Fukiyose's favor. Leave it to Pierce to turn bullying accusations into debating the pros and cons of dinosaur familiars. He would have been perfect for damage controlling the Koroko Connect incident.

Still, he wondered what those markings on the back of Pierce's hand were all about...

At that thought, he turned his attention back to Pierce. It took him a second to realize that the blue-haired pervert was no longer talking, instead looking at something just above his head.

Without warning, a shadow was cast over the three of them. Tsuchimikado promptly looked over his shoulder... and was greeted by the familiar face of a certain red-headed priest.

"Pardon me," the man began politely, "But would the three of you happen to know the current whereabouts of Kamijou Touma?"

Tsuchimikado grinned internally as he watched Pierce and Tessou gawk at the European clergyman. Stiyl's height always made him stick out like a sore thumb. Throw in the black priest robes and the various ear piercings, and he easily took the cake for being the most bizarre thing this side of Academy City.

Of course, that kind of reaction was typical with most magicians. Mages tended to have little to no experience with the clothes trends of modern society. Stiyl was actually on the tamer side of the "strangely dressed" meter, as amazing as that was.

It took his two companions a moment to realize that they were being rude towards the newcomer. Tessou was the first to recover, despite looking more than a bit overwhelmed by the fire mage's towering presence,

"Um... may I ask who you are?" she asked tentatively, eying Stiyl's barcode tattoo with a disapproving frown.

"My name is Stiyl... I'm an acquaintance of Kamijou." Stiyl explained slowly, clearly unwilling to reveal his full identity to an Academy City official. Tessou only frowned at the vague answer.

Tsuchimikado rolled his eyes. This was going nowhere, fast. Stiyl had probably mistaken Tessou for another ordinary civilian, since he normally wasn't stupid enough to alert an authority figure to his presence. It was probably why Stiyl was pretending like he didn't know him, so as to not blow his cover... which was pretty damned stupid, considering that he could have easily played it off as Stiyl being a distant relative or something. Now the fire mage was just making himself look more and more suspicious.

Ah well, it can't be helped. Deception was never Stiyl's strong suit to begin with. Too big of an honest streak. Looks like he would have to step in and bail the kid out.

...for a price, of course.

"Nya, you just missed him, big guy! He went by Seventh Mist to pick up some stuff." Tsuchimikado explained as he stepped forward, separating Tessou and Stiyl between him.

Accompanied by a flurry of subtle hand motions with his right hand, he pointed in the direction of Seventh Mist with his left, "No guarantees, but if you hurry, you should be able to catch him on the way back. Just make sure you don't take up too much of his time; we need his help to finish up over here."

"I see. Thank you." Stiyl thanked gruffly. With a quick nod of appreciation the fire mage strode off towards an unsuspecting Touma, not daring to stay any longer then what was necessary.

"No problem!" Tsuchimikado replied as he discreetly put his right hand back in his pocket.

As soon as Stiyl was out of earshot, Pierce spoke up, "Dude, that guy looked pretty cool. You think he's part of a heavy metal band or something?"

"Could be." Tsuchimikado pretend-wondered, barely able to resist laughing his ass off. Stiyl may look the part, but his personality was _way_ off.

"Yea, he definitely fits the bill. Judging by his looks, I'd say he's the bass player or..." Pierce began to excitedly ramble.

Tessou, on the other hand, looked conflicted, "I don't know if it was a good idea to tell him where your friend is... he looked a bit shady..."

"Nya, it'll be fine." Tsuchimikado reassured, "Kami-yan has a lot of foreign friends, so they're probably just visiting him for the festival."

"Yea, and at least it's not another girl this time..." Pierce added.

"If you say so..." Tessou mumbled, still looking a bit uneasy.

"Well anyways, do you know where I can find a restroom? I've been having to take a monster dump for awhile now..." Tsuchimikado asked as bluntly as possible, trying to distract her from Stiyl's existence.

Tessou fumbled a bit at the candidness of his question, but managed to respond all the same, "U-Um, the Mizuho Inn is open to Daihaseisai workers. It's about a block north of here..."

Tsuchimikado pretended to wince,

"I guess that'll have to work... I might not be back for awhile though..." he warned, walking toward the inn with a fake sense of urgency.

"Oh, um... be careful?" Tessou replied awkwardly as he left.

"Yea man, I'm not fishing you out if you fall in." Pierce chimed in.

"T-That's not what I meant!"

Tsuchimikado smiled as he walked away, taking his first turn up the street and out of their sight. Pierce would be enough to keep Tessou's hands full for the time being. Now that he wasn't being watched, he just needed to find a nice, private area to-

"Tsuchimikado, where do you think you're going?"

"..."

He turned to see Fukiyose marching over from across the street. He immediately brought his hands up in front of him, palms out, "Calm down, I'm just going to the bathroom."

Fukiyose regarded him for a moment, as if trying to discern his intentions. After a few seconds she apparently gave this up, shaking her head in annoyance, "Did Kamijou get enough signs to cover you?"

"Nya, he hasn't shown up yet." Tsuchimikado answered without thinking.

He immediately regretted it.

Fukiyose scowl intensified, "That damned... listen Tsuchimikado, get done with your business and return to your post _immediately_. I'm going to fetch Kamijou myself, since he seems incapable of following the simplest of instructions."

Without even waiting for his reply, Fukiyose stormed off in the direction of Seventh Mist.

Shit. Stiyl had just left to talk to Touma. He was almost certainly informing him of something related to the magic side. If Fukiyose stumbled in on it...

"Uh, hold up Fukiyose!" he called after her, trying to buy the fire mage some precious time.

The girl stopped and looked back over her shoulder, eyes piercing him like daggers, "What."

The blonde spy clenched his teeth, '_Damn you for making me do this, Stiyl!_'

"Er well... I said I was going to the bathroom, but I honestly don't know where I'm going! So, uh, could you show me where the Mizuho Inn is before you leave?" he lied.

Fukiyose looked even more irritable, "What do you mean you don't know where it is? It's right off of Kawakami and Aokura street."

"Um, yea... Look, this is kind of hard to say but... I'm not all that great with directions." he made up on the spot, pretending to be embarrassed, "I usually rely on my phone GPS to get me around, but I left it at home... so..."

He trailed off, giving her a pleading gaze. Fukiyose's jaw worked for a moment, then stopped. She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath, seemingly calming herself from reacting violently.

Then, her eyes flicked back open.

She sped-walked right up to him, grabbed him by his arm, and yanked him along a path to the Mizuho Inn. He didn't dare to protest. Fukiyose made a point of stopping at every intersection and forcing him to memorize and repeat back the street names (which he already knew) to her. In between street crossings, she berated him for over reliance on technology and general incompetence.

...And despite all of that, they still managed to make it to their destination in a record eight minutes. Once they were within seeing distance of the inn, Fukiyose finally let go of his arm,

"The bathroom is in the back. They've been told to let all persons use their restrooms for the day, so don't bother checking in with them." Fukiyose explained impatiently, "I trust that you can find your way back, now that you know the streets?"

"Yea..." Tsuchimikado answered.

Fukiyose nodded once and strode off in the direction of Seventh Mist.

Tsuchimikado watched her go, rubbing his bicep a little. It wasn't much, but he had managed to give Stiyl at least a bit of time to tell Touma whatever it was he wanted to tell him. And that would have to do.

Now it was time to check out his reward.

He looked up at the Mizuho Inn. He hadn't actually planned on being anywhere near the inn, but come to think of it, this could work out just fine. It was mostly deserted anyway, since its occupants wouldn't be arriving until tomorrow.

Ah, what the hell. This was probably as private as he was going to get with the time limit he had.

With that thought in mind, Tsuchimikado strolled into the building.

Once inside, he quickly navigating his way to back end of the near-empty lobby. Noticing an unattended cleaning cart along the way, he quietly snagged a yellow "out of order" sign from the tray and nonchalantly plopped it down behind him as he entered the bathroom. A quick cursory check inside revealed that he was alone.

It was time to examine the "price" Stiyl had had to pay for getting Tessou off his back. The blonde spy grinned to himself as he pulled out the slip of paper he had swiped from the fire mage from earlier. Sleight of hand was such a fantastic skill to have.

Tsuchimikado carefully unfolded his prize and peered at its contents. His smile grew bigger upon recognizing the flowery handwriting scrawled across the front. This was orders directly from Laura Stuart, just like he had hoped.

Tsuchimikado made a point of keeping tabs on his "employers" that he found to be particularly dangerous. Laura was certainly no exception. The problem was, people like her also made a point to keep people like him in the dark as much as possible. Fortunately for him, Laura seemed to put a lot of trust in Stiyl when it came to carrying out higher profile tasks. He wasn't really sure why. Maybe she was in to "young blood" and secretly had a crush on him. Poor Stiyl.

Regardless, it was time to see what Laura had sent Stiyl to Japan for. Focusing on the list, Tsuchimikado began to read,

_There have been rumors that there will be an attempt to smuggle a [Stab Sword] into Academy City during Daihaseisai . Suspects are Oriana Thompson and Lidvia Lorenzetti. This must be prevented to preserve current stability. If you encounter either, subdue them at once. Handle with extreme care. Make sure this does not become an international incident. Alert Tsuchimikado as needed._

Tsuchimikado raised an eyebrow. He had figured something like this might happen during Daihaseisai, but a Stab Sword? He wasn't sure that they existed. Regardless, it looked like Kanzaki wasn't going to be any help for this one...

This was probably what Stiyl had been wanting to tell Touma about. Maybe he'd be able to bum a few answers off of him later...

Moving on...

_Status Report on Index._

That was rather normal... next.

_Pick up Bath Models No. 8919, 9137, and 9362 while in Academy City._

More of them? He swore, Laura had a fetish for baths...

_Select a suitable washing machine to be sent to the Necessarius Female Dormitories. _

Tsuchimikado sighed at the second-to-last entry. He was starting to think that stealing this note really wasn't worth it. He'd have thought Laura would use Stiyl for more than just running errands. The only thing worth mentioning so far was the Stab Sword situation anyway, and he was probably going to be informed about it eventually anyway.

What a shitty prize for bailing Stiyl's ass out.

He resigned himself to disappointment as he flicked over the last entry in the note...

_Assist in excavating the catalyst with Sherry at Takayama. Crucial for successful summoning. Do not send through mail once obtained. Bring back personally. Protect at all costs. Must be completed within the next two weeks. _

The triple spy's eyes widened. Catalyst? Summoning? Next two weeks? If this meant what he thought it meant...

Tsuhimikado mentally shook himself and reread the entry. It wouldn't due to jump to conclusions. After all, it could be for something completely unrelated. The instructions were so vague, there was no way to know for sure.

But deep in his gut, he was certain that he had just hit the jackpot. It was too much of a coincidence. Laura collected artifacts, sure, but to actually use them in a summoning ritual? If this was something small-scale, she would've just used idol theorem. Instead, she's taking the time to excavate an original...

And then there was the time limit. It corresponded perfectly with the manifestation of the Grail...

Tsuchimikado scanned the bathroom once more, making absolutely sure he was alone. Once he was satisfied, he pocketed the note and slowly began to take off his shirt.

The battle for a device that could perform miracles. Seven magi would be chosen; each summoning and commanding Heroic Spirits to fight in their steed. Warriors from every age and nation would be resurrected to kill each other and prove their supremacy, all for the sake of the Grail. All for obtaining a single wish.

That was the Holy Grail War. The war he had been selected to participate in.

Tsuchimikado slid off his shirt, faced opposite of the bathroom mirrors, and looked over his shoulder. From its reflection, an ornate series of symbols could be seen along the upper part of his back.

The marks that had appeared on his body was called a Command Seal. A stigmata bestowing him the power to command a Servant, the warrior that he would summon. It was proof that he had been chosen as a Master by the Holy Grail.

Tsuchimikado stared at the holy symbols embedded on his back. The size and shape of the seal differed between Masters, normally reflecting the magician's personal traits and attitudes. His own Command Seal was a set of three numbers, connected together by a few small swirls.

72-55-81. Maika's three sizes.

It was a fitting Command Seal for him. She was the one reason for his participation in such things. For her sake, he needed to win. Or at the very least ensure that anyone with bad intentions didn't.

And therein lied the problem. A magi won the Holy Grail War by taking out all other Servants... or by taking out the Masters of said Servants. Without having mana being supplied by a Master, the Servant would eventually fizzle out. Therefore, discovering who the other Masters were was crucial to wining in the Holy Grail War. And assuming he was right, he had just worked out the identity of one of the other Masters before the war even began...

Laura Stuart. One of the absolute worst match ups possible for him.

Tsuchimikado's brow furrowed as he tugged his shirt back on. Things got a lot more complicated if she was in the war. For one, he was employed to her. He had betrayed employers in the past of course, but he usually had a damned good reason for doing so. Like that he would have gotten killed if he hadn't. He supposed the same situation applied... but this was different. There was also the fact that she was the main support beam to the Anglican Church structure. If she were to get killed in this war, a huge sect of Christianity would be without a leader. He was sure they would get someone to fill her place, but not someone of _her_ caliber. Without her presence, a lot of things would come tumbling down.

And most of all, he didn't _want_ to have her as his enemy. He knew what she was really like behind that cute face of hers. Cold, cunning, and ruthless. She was a master at manipulating people to get what she wanted. It was no accident that she had ended up in her position of power. Even without knowing too much of her magic abilities, he still considered her one of the most dangerous magicians he had ever met. If he was to defeat her, he'd have to pull out all the stops. And hope for a good servant to back him up.

And that was where things started to tip in her favor. The Servant that one summoned could be influenced. If an artifact that was associated with a certain Servant's legend was used, the Master would be able to summon the desired Servant without much problem. Judging from the note, Laura had already found her own catalyst for her servant.

Unfortunately, he didn't have the freedom that Laura had. He doubted he would happen across a suitable catalyst for his own summoning, and he _highly_ doubted he'd be able to swipe Laura's without killing himself in the process. He would have to rely on the Grail to choose his servant for him.

Still, it wasn't all bad. Knowing a Master's identity before the war even started was definitely a great advantage to have. On top of that, he had heard that the Grail tended to weigh a master's disposition before choosing a Servant for them. If that was the case, he might have a good shot at getting a compatible Servant anyway.

Regardless, there was no use dwelling on it too much. There were still around two weeks before anyone could summon their Servant in the first place. For now he needed to lay low, keep his eyes and ears open, and try to find out as much information as he could.

And have fun, if possible. However shitty the circumstance, it might just be the last time he got to hang out with his friends.

With that, the blonde haired spy donned a winning smile and strolled back out of the restroom, determined to make the most out of his forced community service.

* * *

_**Seventh Mist, 8:04 AM**_

Touma was a bit unsettled by how empty Academy City appeared. Most of the retail outlets he had passed on his way were closed or blocked off. Aside from a few straggling festival workers and the occasional Anti-Skill, the city seemed completely deserted.

Of course he knew that it was anything but that. In reality, the shops were set in overdrive, frantically preparing behind the scenes to meet scores of stringent regulations.

Academy City was a technological wonderland to the rest of the modernized world. Even the smallest of convenience stores housed technology that was thirty years ahead of its time. In order to keep its edge, Academy City had to be extremely careful in protecting its technology from its competitors. So when an event as big as Daihaseisai rolled around, further precautions had to be taken to prevent any chance of leaks.

As such, there were strict procedures that store owners had to follow. Each product line had to be screened and evaluated by the board of directors, who determined what a store could and couldn't sell to the outside world. From what he had heard, it was typical of shops to close down the day before the festival in order to focus on restocking and meeting the director's demands.

Still, it was jarring to see a shopping mall like Seventh Mist completely deserted of customers. He felt like he was in a ghost town...

Touma jammed his hands in his pockets and passed the empty mall, eyes fixed on the equally abandoned staging area in front of him. He quickly located a dozen or so half-opened boxes, labeled "no access". A closer inspection revealed steel sign posts sticking out from the top.

Looks like this was what he was supposed to bring back. Looking around, he spotted an unused trolley set to the side of the staging area. Grabbing the cart, he began loading the signs.

The work was deciding boring, and it wasn't long until his mind started to drift back towards the eerie quietness of his surroundings. Honestly, he should have been used to this city-wide transformation. But with his memories wiped, this was a completely new experience to him. From his perspective, this was his very first Daihaseisai festival.

Not that he was looking forward to it. He had yet to come up with a plausible way to explain to his parents why he had a house arrest bracelet strapped to his ankle. Not to mention dealing with Fukiyose the entire time...

Touma felt a pang of guilt at the thought, remembering the harshness in her voice from earlier. He couldn't say he knew Fukiyose particularly well, thanks to his memory loss... but anyone who talked to her for more than five minutes could tell she was serious, assertive, and brutally honest. To be frank, Touma found her to be way too uptight at times. But of all his friends that he had re-met in the past month and a half, Fukiyose was arguably the most dependable one. She was a realist who demanded a lot from her peers, but she was also an incredibly caring person who genuinely wanted her classmates to accomplish their best. She was, in many ways, a model class rep.

It was no secret that she had been putting in a huge amount of effort into Daihaseisai. For the past two weeks she had been constantly absent from class, shouldering more and more make-up assignments while she handled the coordination between the school and the district committee. And it was working; preparations had never gone smoother for them.

And then, he threw a giant wrench in the plan by accidently blowing up their school.

It didn't actually affect their participation in the Daihaseisai; they could still compete. But to duel other schools when you don't even have one left... it just sent a bad image.

Touma wasn't completely blaming himself, of course. The fight may have broken out from an earlier dispute he had with Accelerator, but he had done everything in his power to avoid involving others. He just felt like he had let Fukiyose down. She had been working so hard to make the festival a success, and instead...

Touma forcibly shook his head to clear his mind. No, that was wrong. Daihaseisai was still going to be a success. There was no point in moping around about it. He couldn't do anything about what had already happened, but he _could_ at least make it up to Fukiyose by ensuring the rest Daihaseisai went as smoothly as possible. He would give her a proper apology when the time came.

"I'll definitely make this right." Touma vowed, clenching his fist a renewed sense of commitment.

"So now you're talking to yourself? I see you've fallen even further since last we met."

Touma practically jumped out of his skin at the sudden intrusion. The spiky haired boy whirled around, facing his new company. He was greeted by the snide smirk of Stiyl Magnus, who was obviously enjoying the fact that he had gotten such a reaction out of him. Touma's resolve instantly faltered, his fleeting determination replaced by his previous apathy.

Great. The last person he wanted to see. Thank you misfortune-san, you managed to deliver right on time as always.

"Fukou da…"

Stiyl made an unpleasant face, as if he had just stepped on something that was particularly foul smelling, "And there's that overused phrase again, always the same. Are you trying to imitate a shonen protagonist? If so, please give up. It would do everyone a courtesy."

Touma grit his teeth, feeling his headache from earlier return in full force. He really wanted to get along with the guy. He really did. But no matter what he did, the fire mage was determined to remain as uncooperative and hostile as possible...

...wait a minute.

"You're into shonen stuff?" Touma asked the oversized fourteen year old with a raised eyebrow. He had pegged Stiyl as being way too serious for that kind of thing, but the way he commented about it so off-handedly...

Stiyl's features softened for a second,

"Index and I used to- …No, never mind, that's not important. I didn't come here to chat with you." Stiyl responded, glaring at Touma as if it was his fault for straying from the subject.

Touma smirked, noticing that Stiyl was a bit pink in the face,

"No need to get so embarrassed about it. I think it's great that you found a hobby. Maybe you'll learn how to be less of an asshole through 'the power of friendship' or something." Touma commented as he returned to his work. He may be laying on the insults a bit thick, but he was irritated as it was and didn't feel like putting up with Stiyl today.

Stiyl ignored his jab and continued the conversation,

"I heard that you got into a pretty big fight, but it looks like you survived again." Stiyl began as he reached inside his coat for a pack of cigarettes. He quickly plucked one from the pack and placed it in his mouth, "How disappointing."

"Sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations." Touma replied sarcastically, "Is that all you have to say? I'm trying to work here."

The oversized magician lit the end of his cigarette with a small fire spell, "…It's about Index."

Touma stiffened. That's right. He had totally forgotten. During his mad dash to school two days ago, Stiyl had tried to talk to him about some 'important matters'. That was probably what this was all about... and if Index was involved, that could only mean trouble.

"…What about her?" he finally asked, bringing his full attention on the fire mage.

Stiyl looked away, taking a long drag on his cigarette before speaking, "…How has she been?"

Touma blinked, "Er, good I guess? So anyways, what's wrong?"

Stiyl took another solid puff before continuing, "…Is she eating well? Are you feeding her properly?

"What kind of- Just hurry up and tell me what's going on! Is it magicians again? How is she involved?" Touma demanded impatiently.

The red haired magician's eyes narrowed, "What are you talking about?"

"Index! The other day you said you had something important to talk about and it involves Index, so spit it out already!"

Stiyl cocked his head a little,

"Are you daft? I've been talking about her the entire time." he replied in a condescending manner.

Touma felt his eye twitch. He stood very still for a moment before he began speaking again,

"Help me understand something," he asked in the calmest voice he could manage, "What _exactly_ were the 'important matters' that you had to talk to me about two days ago? The one regarding Index?"

Stiyl heaved a very large, exaggerated sigh,

"I wanted to discuss Index's current well being." he answered in a deliberately slow manner, as if he were speaking to a toddler.

"…"

Stiyl threw his used cigarette butt into the trashcan and began lighting a new one, "Honestly, I knew you were stupid, but this sets a new-"

"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?" Touma exploded, "YOU DID ALL OF THAT JUST TO KNOW ABOUT HER EATING HABITS?"

"Her having a balanced diet is _extremely_ important." Stiyl retorted angrily.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM AN UNDERAGE CHAIN SMOKER! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST COME BY AND ASK HER YOURSELF, DAMN IT!"

Stiyl faltered a bit to the last question, looking away awkwardly, "That… I would not be able to…"

But Touma wasn't listening,

"If it wasn't for you screwing with the train, I wouldn't have ran into that Gunha guy and gotten kicked into a pool! You owe me new books and a cell phone you bastard!" he continued to rant, remembering how the mysterious headband student had ruined his personal belongings.

The fire mage scowled, "Train? What in the hell are you on about?"

"Two days ago! The bullet train! You fused the rails together because I didn't stop for your stupid health evaluation!"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Liar! Who else would have screwed with the rails!" Touma demanded.

"Why should I have to prove my innocence to _you_? Stop blaming others for your own inadequacies." Stiyl responded scathingly.

"You-!"

"What's going on here?" a sharp female voice cut through the shouting match.

A very _familiar_ female voice.

Touma turned to see Fukiyose marching angrily towards him. His anger immediately drained from his body, replaced with cold, raw fear.

This was not going to end well. She was already pissed as it was; now it looked like he was slacking off. Running would do no good. He was completely screwed unless he had some way of subverting her murderous rage…

And then it clicked.

Pointing at the red haired magician, Touma set his evil plot in motion, "Fukiyose! This weird guy won't leave me alone and keeps blowing smoke on me! He's even underage and everything! Could you help me out here?"

Time slowed as Fukiyose shifted her attention to the towering priest. A righteous fire burned in her eyes the moment they locked on his lit cigarette,

"You!" she barked, picking up her pace as she closed in on the fire mage, "Smoking is restricted outside of the smoke stations! Dispose of them immediately!"

Stiyl clenched his jaw and shot Touma a look of utter contempt. Touma smirked back, confident that the fire mage was totally outmatched in this situation.

Fukiyose was still ranting,

"And what do you think you're doing, smoking at such an early age! Do you have any idea how _unhealthy_ that is for a developing body? And not only that, you're also risking other people's lives by exposing them to second hand- _Where the hell do you think you're going_! Get back here this _instant_!"

A wicked smile stretched across Touma's face as he watched Fukiyose chase after the fleeing Stiyl Magnus. Attention was the last thing a magician wanted in Academy City. Interactions with each side had to be handled with extreme care, lest they risk an international incident. The fact that a closet health nut like Fukiyose was the one who noticed Stiyl certainly didn't help much.

So the best choice for the fire mage was to escape. Unfortunately, Stiyl _vastly_ underestimated Fukiyiose's athletic ability. There was no way he was going to outrun her, not by any normal means.

Satisfied that the crisis was adverted, Touma finished loading the trolley and happily made his way back to Tsuchimikado and Pierce.

* * *

_**Remains of A Certain High School, 10:43 AM**_

"Good, good. Now load those steel bracings into the back-"

"I fucking know! Shut the hell up!" Accelerator spat as he activated his power for the forty seventh time today. Using his ability, he easily lifted the hunks of crumbled metal and threw them into the back of yet another waiting scrap truck. As soon as he was done, he switched his collar off, attempting to conserve energy.

Yomikawa gave him a serene smile, "Just making sure you understand your instructions this time since you seem to have problems following them."

Accelerator grit his teeth in frustration. Condescending bitch. Forcing him to demolish and remove the scraps of the shitty high school he had trashed...

"I heard you the first six times! This is bullshit Yomikawa! Why am I the only one that gets to clean up this hellhole?" he demanded. "I'm on a fucking time limit here!"

The older woman's face remained carefree, "Don't look at it that way. This is great mental training for getting your powers back. You need to get back up to speed with that messed up brain of yours anyway, right?"

"Don't pretend to be a saint you fuckin' hag."

Yomikawa shook her head, "Funny, I never remember thinking of myself as one. But while we're on the subject of exercise, we need to make sure your gym clothes fit you once we get back to the house. Otherwise you're going to look pretty silly tomorrow during your competitions."

Accelerator stopped in his tracks, "...You better not be implying what I think your implying, Yomikawa. Because you're out of your fucking mind if you are."

Yomikawa shrugged, "I'm afraid so. Sorry Accelerator, but both you and Last Order are required to participate in Daihaseisai so long as you're registered under A Certain High School. It's campus policy."

"Don't give a fuck. I'm not doing it." Accelerator snapped.

"Why not? How is it any worse from what you're doing right now?"

"I'm not going to run around like a retard for everyone's god damned entertainment!"

Yomikawa rolled her eyes at him, "I'm sure no one is going to make fun of you for doing poorly in a sports competition."

Accelerator's eyes narrowed, "What the fuck do you mean, 'poorly'?"

Yomikawa crossed her arms, "Exactly what I said. Level 5's have severe limits placed on their powers during the competition, and you're not exactly a star athlete without your vector manipulation. Of course you're not going to do good."

"You're a bigger dumbass then what I thought you were, Yomikawa. You seriously think any 'limitation' would make a difference? I'm the strongest esper in this entire shit-hole of a city. Restrictions or not, there would be no stopping me."

Yomikawa raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Sounds like a lot of empty talk to me."

Accelerator went to retort, but stopped midway as something occurred to him.

Oh. I see what you're trying to do, you conniving bitch...

"Tch, right. Either way, you're a stupid fuck if you think you can trick me into participating."

Yomikawa smirked, "You really-"

"'Accelerator! Accelerator, look!' Misaka yells as Misaka calls attention to herself!"

The two of them looked up as one. Last Order was cart wheeling on a steel girder above them.

Accelerator's eyes widened, "Oi, what the fuck do you think you're doing! Get down from there!"

The miniature electromaster nonchalantly walked down the front side of the girder, playfully sticking her tongue out at him as she utilized her ability to keep her anchored down, "'But Misaka's having fun! Misaka doesn't want to get down!' Misaka proclaims as Misaka shows off her powers!"

"I didn't _ask_ you to come down, you little shit! I'm _telling_ you to-"

But Last Order seemed to be completely ignoring his warnings, "'Accelerator, look! No hands!' Misaka displays as Misaka hangs upside down unaided!"

For the briefest of moments, Last Order's face was one of triumph as she stood upside-down and above her two guardians.

Then gravity kicked in and her polka-dotted dress drooped down below her face, revealing a pair of frog print panties for all the world to see.

Needless to say, Last Order was not thrilled by this development.

"'Wah! M-Misaka didn't expect this! D-Don't look!' Misaka stutters as Misaka tries to cover her unmentionables!"

Accelerator felt the beginnings of a headache forming. He hadn't had his fucking coffee this morning...

"No one cares about your god damned kiddy panties! Get down here before you fucking fall!" he demanded.

Last Order gave him an indignant look even as she was fighting to keep her dress "down",

"'Gekota isn't kiddy! It's for mature Misaka's with mature tastes such as-'"

"Alright, that's it; I'm coming up there." Accelerator declared as he flipped on his switch. That makes it the forty eighth time...

"'Wha-? N-No, don't get any closer! Misaka hasn't prepared her heart yet-'"

"You're a thousand years too early to be saying that cheesy shit!"

Using his ability, Accelerator kicked off the ground and stuck on the underside of the girder beside her. After a couple of seconds of scuffling, he managed to pry the brat off. Pulling her in close to his chest, he jumped back down with her and landed next to Yomikawa.

"And they say chivalry is dead." the older woman commented with a grin.

"Fuck off."

"You know, she's going to have to participate in the festival." Yomikawa casually reminded, gesturing at Last Order, "Things can get kind of rough on the field... you sure you're ok with not being there to protect her?"

"Yomikawa, I'm not fucking-"

"'Um! Your battery is dangerously low!' Misaka interjects as Misaka points out crucial information!"

Accelerator scowled. It was always something. He tilted his neck and shrugged, flicking the switch off with his shoulder.

"You're out of juice, huh? Well I guess that's fine. We'll just have lunch break a bit early." Yomikawa reasoned, waving off the construction crew working on the tear down of A Certain High School.

Once she had made sure the crew had gotten the message, Yomikawa motioned for Accelerator to follow, "Let's go... though I got to say Accelerator, I'm impressed you've managed to hold her bridal style for so long without the help of your vectors."

Accelerator immediately looked down, seeing he was doing just that. Last Order smiled back up at him, her cheeks a bit pinker than usual, "'Misaka doesn't mind-'"

He dropped her like a rock.

Ignoring her protests, he picked up his cane and hobbled after Yomikawa.

He needed some god damned coffee.

* * *

_**Lunch Break, 10:56 AM**_

"O-Onii-chan... I wet my b-bed... is mama going to be m-mad?" the portable game device chirped. A tiny blonde girl wearing oversized pajamas looked up at him, accompanied by four selectable responses at the bottom of the screen.

Pierce's heart melted on the spot,

"It's ok imouto, you can sleep in my bed instead. I'll tell mama I did it." he cooed.

"You'll tell your mom you pissed in your sister's bed?" Tsuchimikado asked skeptically.

Pierce frowned at his friend, a bit peeved that his tender moment was interrupted over something as silly as _game logic_.

"I'll say that my sister was stung by a jellyfish and I had to apply emergency treatment." he answered neutrally.

But Tsuchimikado wouldn't let it go, "She was stung by a jellyfish in her bedroom?"

"I don't know, maybe she keeps one as a pet or something. Why do you care so much?"

"Nya, no need to get all _pissy_ about it." Tsuchimikado replied with a smirk.

The blue-haired gamer grinned despite himself, "You're the only one who seems _pissed-off_ here, man."

Touma let out a loud groan. Pierce frowned at the outburst, "C'mon, it wasn't _that_ bad-"

"This isn't about your stupid puns." Touma snapped, holding up his bento box in explanation.

...There was nothing inside.

"Oh, you forgot to pack your lunch? That sucks bro." Pierce sympathized with his spiky haired friend.

Touma had a forlorn expression set upon his face, "No, I definitely packed it last night... that stupid nun probably ate it when I wasn't looking. Fukou da..."

"Nya, if you need something to tide you over for awhile, there's a vending machine about two blocks east of here." Tsuchimikado mentioned helpfully.

"You might want to hurry though, since Fukiyose will probably be back soon." Pierce pointed out. Yomikawa and Tessou had left them to their own devices for lunch break, saying that they had a few errands to run. They had also warned that Fukiyose would be back to supervise while they were gone. She had yet to show up, however...

Touma nodded in resignation, "Guess I don't have much choice. If she gets back before I do, let her know where I'm at. If she wants to get on my back for eating then... well, I'm sure she'll understand. I'll be back in a bit."

Without wasting any time, the misfortunate boy set off to find a substitute meal. Pierce went back to playing his eroge in a huff.

Tsuchimikado raised an eyebrow at Pierce's shift in attitude, "What's eating at you?"

"It's just ridiculous. Kami-yan get's all the good flags." Pierce replied bitterly, "I would _kill_ to have a girl eating my food and biting me all the time."

"Nya, you really are a masochist aren't you?"

"Hungry girls are _moe_, man! Gah, Kami-yan's so damned lucky! Here he has a loli practically teething on him, and he doesn't even appreciate it!" Pierce raged, "Why am I the only one without an imouto to look after?"

"But Index isn't his little sister though." Tsuchimikado reminded, "Well, I guess she's a little 'Sister' in another sense but..."

"Blood relations don't matter, only intent and circumstance!" Pierce explained before continuing to bash Touma, "The bastard gets everything handed to him! _He_ doesn't have to make up stories about pissing on squids!"

"I thought they were jellyfishes."

"Same difference!"

"They're completely fucking different, dipshit." Accelerator growled as he sipped his canned coffee, "You're comparing apples to fucking oranges."

Pierce halted his rant and looked over in surprise at the super powered albino. Accelerator hadn't said a word since lunch had begun. He had almost forgotten that the guy was even there.

Tsuchimikado folded his arms across his chest, "But oranges are objectively superior to apples."

Pierce wrinkled his nose at his friend's claims, "Are you serious? Apples are way better."

Tsuchimikado looked similarly disgruntled, "C'mon man, everyone knows that apples are worse than oranges."

"Dude, oranges are tedious as hell. You gotta peel off so much skin just to eat anything. With apples, you can just bite right into them."

"But oranges are better for you. They have a bunch of Vitamin C."

"You can get Vitamin C anywhere." Pierce waved aside.

"Nya, you're just an apple fanboy. I bet you like Macs too."

"Well yea, Macintosh apples taste awesome. And oranges are shaped like balls. Is that why you like them so much?" Pierce shot back.

Tsuchimikado cocked an eyebrow, "What the hell do you consider apples to be shaped like? Squares?"

"They're apple shaped, obviously."

The blonde rolled his eyes, "Look man, apples just suck, period. They're almost as bad as kiwis."

"Dude what? Kiwis, pineapples, and bananas are all god tier fruit."

"Are you serious? Kiwis taste like shit and the texture is awful. If you want to talk about great fruit, watermelon is the way to go."

Pierce shrugged, "I guess watermelon is ok... if you like the taste of water. Cantaloupe is obviously the best type of melon."

Tsuchimikado gave him an incredulous look, "Tastes like water? Do you think Applejacks tastes like apples too? And cantaloupe is too sweet yet somehow bitter at the same time. They're the cancer that's killing the fruit industry."

The blue haired gamer sneered at Tsuchimikado's false assertions, "What, you can't handle a bit of flavor? Watermelon has such a weak taste that you might as well be drinking a glass of water! And don't even get started on artificial flavoring, because watermelon flavor sucks balls!"

Tsuchimikado's expression was one of genuine disbelief, "You have to be picking bad watermelons, because I refuse to believe anyone would consider watermelons to be too tame. And as for artificial flavoring, watermelon and blueberry are tied for the best, with strawberry and grape being right behind them. Lime is the worst, of course."

"How in the hell can you not like lime flavoring? Lime is amazing in all forms! Unlike blueberry, which tastes like total ass!"

"You're ridiculous! Blueberry flavoring is one of the greatest things ever invented! Lime flavoring _wishes_ it was half as good as blueberry!"

Pierce shook his head in disgust, "I didn't know you enjoyed the taste of ass so much, Tsuchimikado. I feel sorry for your taste buds."

"Nya, whatever you say there 'ass smoker'."

"S-Shut the hell up! I told you that was a mistake-!"

"Sounds more like a Freudian slip to me."

"You-!"

"'Misaka thinks strawberries are the best!' Misaka claims as Misaka jumps into the conversation!"

Pierce's outrage was immediately forgotten upon Last Order's interjection, "You're such a good girl Last Order! Strawberries match your cuteness perfectly~"

The tiny girl blushed and giggled cutely, causing Pierce's heart to flutter. Once he got over his momentary cute-spasm, he turned to regard her guardian,

"What's your favorite fruit, Accelerator?" he asked in a friendly manner.

The Level 5 gave him a dirty look, but answered anyway, "Tomatoes."

The reaction was instant.

"Booooo!" Tsuchimikado booed at his choice.

"Cop out." Pierce added, clucking his tongue in disapproval.

"Tomatoes are part of the fucking fruit family!" Accelerator defended.

Pierce rolled his eyes, "We meant _real_ fruit. Tomatoes are just vegetables pretending to be fruits."

"'Misaka is surprised that he didn't mention coffee beans, since coffee is all he ever drinks.' Misaka comments as Misaka jokes at the expense of her guardian."

"Haha, I know right!"

The pale esper gave the three of them a murderous glare before angrily going back to his canned coffee, "As if I give a rat's ass what you retards think."

"Nya, there's no need to sulk about it. We're just messing with you." Tsuchimikado assured.

"I am _not_ fucking sulking-!"

"'Ah!' Misaka exclaims as Misaka identifies an anomaly!"

Pierce looked over at Accelerator's tiny companion. A perplexed expression had replaced her normally carefree one as she quickly got to her feet. Without any further explanation, the chestnut haired girl jogged off.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going!" Accelerator yelled after her, making to get up as well.

Last Order stopped and looked back over her shoulder,

"'Misaka senses another Misaka without an appropriate signature, so Misaka is going to investigate!' Misaka informs as Misaka hurriedly explains the situation."

"You can't just going running around like you please you damned brat! I'm coming along-"

"'Other Misaka's are converging on the source as well, so Misaka will be fine!' Misaka emphasizes as Misaka assures her well being."

The girl suddenly gave Accelerator a stern expression, "'Misaka is more worried about you! The last time Misaka left you unsupervised, Misaka's new school was destroyed! Misaka better not hear about any reckless behavior while Misaka is gone!' Misaka warns as Misaka puts her foot down!"

Before Accelerator could say anything back, the girl had turned and took off once again. The moody Level 5 worked his jaw for a couple of seconds before plopping back down in a huff.

"Cheeky fucking brat..."

"Nya, I'm sure she'll be fine." Tsuchimikado reassured.

"Nobody fucking asked you." the albino snarled back.

Tsuchimikado shrugged in response.

A long silence descended upon them. Accelerator obviously didn't want to be bothered, so Pierce contented himself to picking up where he left off on his eroge.

After about fifteen minutes of gaming, he heard a distinct chime of a phone ringing. Pierce looked up to see Accelerator answering his cell phone,

"Bout time you little shit!" the Level 5 growled.

A long pause.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, going that far on your own!"

Another pause.

"Just get your ass back here or else I'll come over and do it for you!"

With that, he hung up.

"Sounds like she's ok." Tsuchimikado commented.

Accelerator looked slightly more relaxed as he pocketed his phone, "She apparently met with that spiky haired bastard along the way."

"Oh yea, she's fine if she's with Kami-yan." Pierce concluded.

For some reason, Accelerator looked extremely irritated upon hearing that. Pierce decided it was best to not look too far into it.

Another five minutes worth of silence stretched on. Feeling thirsty, Pierce reached for his bottled water and took a few gulps. It was at that moment that he was struck with a simple, yet profound question. A question that as a man, he simply could not ignore.

Seeking answers, Pierce turned to his friend and gave voice to his dilemma,

"Dude… do you think girls with big boobs have trouble tying their shoes?"

Tsuchimikado opened his mouth, then slowly closed it. A look of extreme contemplation swept over his face as his brow furrowed into a heated knot. After a full minute of thought, he spoke again,

"I... actually have no idea." he answered honestly, groping the air in front of him as he tried to imagine the concept, "You'd think they would get in the way…"

"I know right?" Pierce agreed excitedly, "I mean what do they do, push them to the side?"

"Nya, that can't be it..."

Pierce adopted a thinking pose, "And what would be the boob threshold for potential shoe tying hindrance anyway? C cup? D cup?"

Tsuchimikado shrugged, "Just anyone that looks like they would have a hard time tying their shoes. The girl's height would probably factor into it too."

Pierce frowned at the ever-increasing variables, "Maybe we should ask somebody."

"Who in the world would we ask something like that to?" Tsuchimikado asked doubtfully.

"I dunno, we just need to find someone with mammoth sized breasts..." Pierce reasoned. A few seconds later, he snapped his fingers,

"…Like Fukiyose!"

Tuschimikado's face stiffened, "Of all people you would pick _Fukiyose_? Do you _want_ to die?"

"C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?" Pierce whined.

Tsuchimikado wasn't budging, "_You_ can ask. I kind of like my face."

Pierce paled at the suggestion, "No way man, she'd kill me if I asked her that."

"Then what makes you think I'd do it, nya!"

"You can take punches really well though! I'm super frail compared to you..."

"That's bullshit, I've seen you take punches from Skill-Outs and get up just fine! And _you're_ the masochist anyway, it should be like heaven for you!" Tsuchimikado retorted.

"Those guys were throwing love taps compared to what Fukiyose dishes out! Pain is great and all, but I can't afford to fix broken bones!"

"I can't either!"

Pierce sighed explosively. This wasn't going anywhere. They needed someone else to ask in their place...

A light bulb went off in his head as his eyes locked on to the Level 5 sitting off the side.

"Hey, Acceler-"

"Fuck off."

"C'mon, you're the only one Fukiyose would be neutral towards! You'd be doing us a huge favor!" Pierce begged.

"I don't give a fuck about your problems." Accelerator stated bluntly.

Pierce looked away in a huff, "Jeez, just because you're still mad that we made fun of your tomatoes..."

"That has nothing to fucking do with it!"

"Then why can't you take one for the team?" Pierce pressured.

"We aren't a fucking team to begin with you god damned retard!" Accelerator spat.

Tsuchimikado shook his head wearily, "Nya, it can't be helped then. We'll just have to wait for _Kami-yan_ to get back and do it for us."

Pierce adopted a thoughtful expression, "Yea, you may be right actually. Out of all of us, Kami-yan would probably have the best chance with Fukiyose."

"And _Kami-yan_ won't back off midway just because he's scared." Tsuchimikado added, "We can't say the same for Accelerator."

Pierce frowned at his blonde friend, "Hey man, you're being kind of harsh. I don't blame Accelerator for being scared of Fukiyose, she's like impossible to approach."

"I am _**not**_ fucking scared of some trumped up bitch." Accelerator growled, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Pierce waved aside Accelerator's posturing, "It's ok man, I'm a bit scared of her too. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Even Kami-yan is-"

"Don't put me on the same level as _you_." Accelerator snarled, "I am the fucking Accelerator! I can do anything a thousand times better then that porcupine-haired fuckface could even _dream_ of doing!"

"Says the guy who can't even work up the courage to talk to a girl." Tsuchimikado chimed in.

That was the final straw for Accelerator. He snatched his cane and pushed himself to his feet, glaring furiously at the two of them,

"Where is this bitch?" he hissed.

Pierce's eyes went wide, "I-I don't know, she's not back yet-"

"Nya, there she is!"

Pierce focused on where Tsuchimikado was pointing. Sure enough, he could just barely make out Fukiyose in the distance. Without sparing the two of them a second glance, Accelerator angrily hobbled toward the approaching girl.

Pierce cocked an eyebrow at the display, "Man, what the hell is his problem?"

Tsuchimikado gave him a pleased smile, "You know Pierce, you're a great wingman."

Pierce tilted his head at the random compliment, "What do you mean?"

"Exactly." Tsuchimikado answered as he stood up and stretched, "Now c'mon, we need to get moving. I don't want to miss this."

* * *

_**Near A Certain Vending Machine, 11:12 AM**_

Touma was sour about life. He had explicitly told Index not to eat the bento he had prepared the night before, but as always, the gluttonous sister hadn't listened.

But what threw him for a loop was how the girl had managed to get her hands on his food. His bento was still intact when he had went to bed. He even rechecked after that whole flying toast incident, and it was still all there. Admittedly he hadn't checked this morning, but Index was still asleep when he had left. By all accounts, there was no way she could have eaten his lunch.

And yet she did. That ludicrous, unending belly of a nun had swiped the entirety of his bento right from under his nose. How did she do it? Considering how late the toast fiasco had taken place, and factoring in how early he had to get up...

...could it be that Index was a sleep eater?

Touma whimpered a little. His heart (and his wallet) wouldn't be able to take such a cruel blow.

Fortunately, he didn't have much time to ponder this dark possibility as he caught a glimpse of his destination.

A single vending machine off to the side of a deserted park. His stomach growled longingly at the food and drinks it had to offer. He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet as he closed the distance between him and his salvation.

He stopped about a meter short. The reason for his hesitation was obvious as he stared down into his wallet.

A single two thousand yen bill. A horrible feeling of anxiety crept into his heart as he recollected the last time he put that much money into a vending machine. His money eaten, his pride stomped on as he was laughed at by a certain cocky middle schooler...

This was a bad idea. Nothing good could come from putting so much money inside this hellish contraption. He would be better off if he just forgot about it and went back-

His stomach let loose a loud gurgling noise, insisting he reconsider. He had skipped breakfast, after all...

Touma gulped, sweat trickling from his brow as he came to terms with his situation. There was no helping it. He was too hungry to turn back now. Clenching his fists, he turned to face his greatest adversary, the dreaded vending machine.

Ignoring his fears, he gathered all of his resolve and stepped forward. This was it. Everything came down to the next few seconds. With effort he stilled his trembling hand and slowly lifted the two thousand yen to the slot-

A hand suddenly tapped his shoulder, shattering his concentration. Touma metaphorically tripped on air and slammed his head into the front of the vending machine. He whirled around on the spot, tears of pain welling up in the corners of his eyes,

"Read the mood!" he scolded the interloper, feeling as though some passage of manhood had just been snatched from him.

A girl with a deadpan expression and shoulder length brown hair stood before him. Another Misaka Imouto.

The girl bowed solemnly, "'Misaka deeply apologizes for disturbing your activities.' Misaka says as she tries to salvage her standing in the Savior's eyes."

Touma was completely disarmed by the clone's blunt sincerity. Guilt washed over him as he gazed upon her stooped figure.

"Ah... no that's alright, you didn't do anything wrong." he tried to amend, "You don't have to bow or anything..."

The Sister lifted herself back into a standing position, looking slightly perplexed, "'If Misaka did nothing wrong, then may Misaka continue with what Misaka planned to say?' Misaka asks as she makes sure to not overstep her boundaries this time."

Touma was starting to really regret his outburst, "Yea, go right ahead..."

Nodding, the Misaka Imouto pointed at the vending machine, "'This machine will not produce any beverages or food-items unless the proper technique is implemented.' Misaka informs as she reveals her knowledge."

Touma tilted his head slightly, "Proper technique?"

The clone nodded again, "'Would you like Misaka to demonstrate?' Misaka asks as she prepares to impress."

"Uh, sure?" He replied uncertainly.

The Sister nodded a final time and motioned for him to step aside. Once he had moved, she took up a stance directly in front of the vending machine.

Without warning she spun on her left foot and pulled back her right, gaining momentum for...

"'Rider Kick!' Misaka yells as she makes an appropriate reference!"

Touma caught quite an eyeful of the Sister's panties as her right foot slammed into the side of the vending machine. Blue and white stripes again, huh?

...What the hell was he thinking?

Touma forced himself to advert his eyes and look directly at the vending machine. It rattled chaotically from the blow before finally coughing up a prize: One strawberry soda. The clone put down her leg (much to his simultaneous relief and displeasure) and bent down to pick up the beverage. She turned around and offered it to him with a small smile.

Touma recalled a similar event from the past as he accepted the drink, "Ahh... you're not too different from biribiri in that regard either..."

The clone's face returned to its usual neutrality, "'Please don't compare Misaka's efforts to someone who cannot be honest with their feelings.' Misaka requests and she makes sure to emphasize the distinction."

Touma wondered what she meant by that, but decided it was best not to pry.

"Anyways, that was great of you and everything, but... wouldn't it have been easier to have just used your electricity?" he pointed out.

"'Misaka was informed that this method would leave a bigger impression.' Misaka replies as she explains her actions."

Well, she certainly had a point there. Though he wondered who she was getting such advice from...

Touma rubbed at the back of his neck, "I see. Um, I kind of need to get a snack as well though, so...?"

A small twinkle appeared in the Misaka Imouto's normally subdued eyes, "'Misaka has already prepared for this outcome.' Misaka excitedly informs as she reaches for her belongings."

Touma blinked, just now noticing the duffel bag that was laying next to her. The clone bent down and zipped it open, revealing a few frog plushes, a full change of clothes, a few fashion magazines, a med kit, a set of combat knives, a few assault rifles... was that a dissembled sniper rifle? Best not to question it...

After a minute of rummaging through the odd assortment, the Sister carefully pulled out a bento box, "'Misaka made this for you just in case.' Misaka explains as she presents her cooking."

Touma was shocked, "F-For real? I mean, I can't just take that from you..."

The girl shook her head, "'Misaka insists.' Misaka responds as she holds her ground."

Touma couldn't help but grin. As a poor high school student, he couldn't exactly turn down free food. Especially free _homemade_ food.

"Thanks Misaka Imouto, you're a real life saver." he praised as he earnestly held out his hand for the free meal.

But this Misaka Sister seemed to have different plans. Instead of putting the bento into his outstretched hand, she decided to lean in closer to Touma, getting well within his personal space. She was giving him a small, somewhat sly smile as she pressed the food into his other arm.

"'Misaka would _love_ to eat your bento, if you know what Misaka means.' Misaka says while implying certain innuendos."

"Oh... uh sure, you can have my bento next time." Touma replied quickly. He supposed that was fair. He would pay her back later with his own homemade bento.

A moderately deep shade of pink touched the girl's cheeks as she smiled wider then he had ever seen a Misaka clone smile before. Wow, the Sisters had really come a long way to be able to express so much emotion...

The Misaka Imouto leaned in even closer, "'Misaka is looking forward to it.' Misaka says with elation as she is ecstatic that her tactics worked."

Tactics? What was she talking about? Touma shifted uneasily, nervous from how dangerously close the girl was to his face. Was she still learning about social norms and personal space? Her close proximity would undoubtedly create a chain of misunderstandings if they were seen right now...

He was about to tell her as much when she suddenly jerked away from him, her face tinged with a trace of annoyance as she looked off to the side.

"'Damn it.' Misaka mutters as she is forced to retreat."

The clone abruptly turned around and dashed off, giving an extremely confused Touma another eyeful of her panties as her skirt kicked up behind her. She rounded a corner and disappeared before he even had the chance to call after her.

Had she always been that fast?

About ten seconds later, another miniature Misaka burst into view from the opposite direction. Touma instantly recognized her as Last Order, the clone that was currently living with Accelerator. She made a beeline for him, stopping about a meter away as she tried to regain her breath.

"Misaka… Misaka pants… while breathing heavily…"

"You ok?" he asked, unsure of what to make of her.

After a few moments, Last Order regained her composure,

"'Misaka wants to know who you were just talking to.' Misaka inquires as Misaka tries to get to the bottom of this mystery!"

"Er, I was just talking to one of… well I guess they would be one of your older sisters... but then she just kind of ran away?" he trailed off.

Last Order's brow furrowed, "'You are absolutely certain that you saw a Misaka?' Misaka asks as Misaka seeks absolute confirmation."

Touma scratched at his spiked hair, "Yea, I'm positive. Brown hair, goggles, striped pan- I mean, Tokiwadai uniform..."

The miniature Misaka studied him for a moment, then looked at the ground in concern,

"'This is troubling.' Misaka states as Misaka puts her thoughts into words."

Touma frowned, "So what is this about anyway?"

Last Order hesitated for a moment before explaining herself, "'The person you recognized as Misaka was not a true Misaka.' Misaka responds as Misaka reveals certain information."

"...Huh?"

"'Whoever you just talked to was emitting an electrical signal identical to Misaka's. Yet they aren't connected at all to the Misaka Network.' Misaka explains as Misaka gives you the short and sweet version."

Touma's eyes widened as he put two and two together, "Hold on. You're saying that the girl I was talking to wasn't an actual Misaka Imouto?"

"'Correct.' Misaka affirms as Misaka answers your question."

"But she looked and acted-! I mean if that wasn't a Sister, then who...?" he asked, slightly unnerved, "An esper that can mimic people's appearances?"

Last Order shook her head, "'An esper with such powers would have a different AIM field and wouldn't be giving off an electrical signature identical to Misaka's.' Misaka points out as Misaka excludes that option."

"Then... are you sure some of the Sisters didn't disconnect from the Network to get some privacy or something?" he suggested.

"'All Misakas are accounted for.' Misaka states as Misaka also rules out the possibility."

Touma was stumped, "If it isn't a Sister or an esper imitating one, then what's going on?"

"'Misaka has a theory, but the other Misaka's believe it is baseless.' Misaka announces as Misaka remembers certain speculations."

"Let's hear it then." he requested.

Last Order puffed out her meager chest, "'Misaka has come to the conclusion that the culprit is a Ditto, illegally crafted in the dark underground of Academy City!' Misaka reveals as Misaka imparts her wisdom!"

"...Eh?"

The petite electromaster put her hands on her hips, "'A ditto! The goo that can copy the DNA from any living organism and copy it completely, even down to their abilities! Geez, is Misaka the only one who's played pokemon?' Misaka lectures as Misaka voices her frustration!"

Touma tried to hide his bemused smirk by looking away, "No, I know what it is. It's just kind of..."

"'Simple minded?' Misaka asks as she guesses at the word the Savior is looking for."

"'Childish?' Misaka follows up as she mercilessly insults the administrator."

"'Completely removed from reality?' Misaka adds as she comments on the administrator's overwhelming stupidity."

Touma glanced to his left. Three Misaka Imouto's were walking towards the two of them, berating Last Order as they approached.

Wait, were they "real" Misaka Imouto's though? He couldn't tell...

Last Order had no such troubles, "'H-How dare you! Misaka's theory is sound! You can't disprove it!' Misaka growls as Misaka takes major offense!"

The middle Misaka Sister was quick to respond, "'The same can be said about proving the Administrator's wild speculations.' Misaka reminds the administrator as she attempts to get a rise out of her."

Last Order didn't seem to have much of a comeback, "'Hauuu, enough! Was Misaka able to capture the Misaka Rogue?' Misaka demands as Misaka stamps her feet impatiently!"

This time it was the Misaka on the right that replied, "'Negative. Misaka Rogue has somehow managed to hide her electrical signature. Misaka lost pursuit shortly after she ran.' Misaka says as she regretfully admits her failure."

"Misaka Rogue?" Touma asked aloud. It was getting harder to follow what was going on with all the "Misaka" talk.

The Misaka Sister on the left finally spoke up, "'Misaka Rogue is the codename Misaka has assigned to the anomaly.' Misaka clarifies as she explains the naming structure."

"Oh..."

Last Order bit her lip at the bad news, "'That is disappointing.' Misaka grumbles as Misaka is at a loss as to what to do next."

The tiny clone turned to face him, "'Was there anything that seemed strange about the way Misaka Rouge was acting?' Misaka inquires as Misaka searches for clues."

Touma scratched at his head, "Not really... she was kind of getting in my personal space but that's about it. Oh, and she gave me this bento."

Each clone tensed as he held up his food for them to see.

"'That could be dangerous.' Misaka states seriously as Misaka eyes the suspicious act of good will."

Touma scrutinized the bento box with a frown. They could be right... but then again, if this "Misaka Rogue" or whatever wanted to harm him, she could have done it easily. His guard was down and she had enough firepower in that duffel bag to paste him against the side of a wall. She didn't feel like a bad person when he was talking to her either...

Well, only one way to find out.

Touma began to carefully open the bento box, much to the shock of the Misaka Sisters. Four sharp inhales accompanied the removal of the lid, revealing...

A completely harmless, ordinary bento. The only unique aspect to it was that the rice portion was decorated with a big heart outlined in ketchup. It was actually really cute.

The Misaka Imouto's thought differently, however,

"'It might be poisonous.' Misaka asserts as she finds a plausible way to obliterate the Rogue's flags."

"'We must remove it immediately.' Misaka determines as she prepares to dispose of the interloper's food.

"'Agreed.' Misaka readily accepts as she sets out to destroy the faker's attempt to gain affection points."

Touma reflexively shielded his bento, "No way, this is my lunch! It's _fine_!"

To his surprise, Last Order sided with him, "'Misaka does not think Misaka Rogue means to harm the Savior, and therefore does not believe it is necessary to destroy the Rogue's act of goodwill.' Misaka hypothesizes as Misaka submits her opinion."

The tiny esper turned to regard her three Sisters, "'Misaka will take care of things from here. Misaka urges the three of you to return to your posts.' Misaka requests as Misaka steps in as a mediator."

The clones stared at the miniature Misaka, their gaze somewhat cold. Last Order folded her arms and stared right back. Touma felt like a great invisible battle was being raged right in front of him, though he had no clue what for it was for.

After a long minute of silence, the middle Imouto finally spoke up, "'Misaka... will defer to the Administrator's judgment on the matter. Misaka shall take her leave.' Misaka concedes as she grudgingly accepts the terms of negotiation."

The three Sisters took one last look at Touma and nodded in unison. They then turned around abruptly and jogged off in three different directions.

...What the hell was that all about?

Last Order seemed to read his mind, "'Misaka had a private discussion with her subordinates over the Network. They were worried that you were being targeted by the elusive Misaka Rogue and were willing to take extensive measures to ensure your safety. Misaka persuaded them from this by arranging a deal, so all should be resolved.' Misaka concludes as Misaka explains what transpired."

Touma breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh... I thought I had pissed them off by accident or something."

The tiny clone shook her head, "'Misaka's subordinates aren't mad at you. They're just worried that the Misaka Rogue might be another rival- um, but that's not important!' Misaka cuts off as Misaka prevents leakage of vital information!"

Touma tilted his head slightly. Another rival? For what?

"'A-At any rate, make sure to report any strange Misaka behavior to Misaka in the future.' Misaka says as Misaka quickly changes the subject."

Last Order's eyes began to twinkle deviously, "'Why don't you give Misaka your number?' Misaka requests as Misaka forwards her agenda."

Touma shrugged and pulled out his current phone,

"I don't have a problem with it, but this is actually Index's." he explained as he sadly gazed at the ultra cheap communicator, "I'm using it for now because my old phone was kind of ruined the other day..."

Last Order didn't seem to mind all that much, "'Misaka's fine with that as long as she gets the new number when the Savior switches back.' Misaka replies offhandedly as Misaka retrieves her own phone."

Touma raised an eyebrow at the girl's cell phone design. The casing was bubble gum pink and was dotted with bright red floral patterns. A small keychain dangled from it, featuring glittery beads and a cutesy-looking frog at the end.

A thought formed inside his mind the moment he laid eyes on it,

"...Out of curiosity, who bought that for you?" he inquired.

Last Order gave a cheerful smile, "'Accelerator did!' Misaka says as Misaka proudly displays her gift!"

Touma disguised his laughter by acting like he was having a coughing fit.

He couldn't help it. Imagining the look on Accelerator's face while she picked out her phone was just too funny. Though he did feel bad for the poor salesman who waited on them.

"'Are you ok?' Misaka asks as Misaka grows concerned for your health."

"Y-Yea... something just went down the wrong pipe. It's nothing." he answered quickly, though he couldn't quite hide the grin on his face, "So what's your number?"

After fumbling briefly with her phone, the two of them managed to exchange contact information. Last Order looked very satisfied with herself for some reason.

Touma scratched the side of his face, not really sure what to say next,

"So does Accelerator know you're over here with me?" he asked, curious as to why the Level 5 would let her out of his sight.

Last Order's eyes widened at the question, "'Ah, give Misaka a moment!' Misaka requests as Misaka quickly dials her Guardian's number!"

The miniature Sister put the receiver to her ear and waited. Touma heard Accelerator answer about half a second later,

"Bout time you little shit!" he greeted in his usual cheery demeanor.

"'Misaka is calling to let you know that she's safe. Misaka has rendezvoused with the Sav- I mean Touma, and-'"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, going that far on your own!" Accelerator growled.

Last Order stood her ground, "'It was Misaka's responsibility to investigate the source of the anomaly! ' Misaka defends as Misaka becomes irritated at being treated like a child!"

"Just get your ass back here or else I'll come over and do it for you!" Accelerator snapped before abruptly hanging up.

Last Order stuck out her tongue at the phone, obviously intending the gesture for Accelerator. She then pocketed it and looked over expectantly at Touma.

"Guess we should head back before Accelerator 'does it for us'." he sighed, beckoning the girl to walk with him.

Last Order giggled and slid into place beside him.

The trip back was uneventful. Last Order jabbered on about her hobbies, her favorite foods, the different shows she was following, how the Sisters were fairing... before he knew it, they were already near the lunch break area. Which was good, because he was getting seriously hungry-

"'Ah, Misaka sees Yomikawa and Accelerator!' Misaka observes as Misaka picks up her pace!"

Touma hurriedly matched her walking speed and focused on where she was looking. Sure enough, he could see Accelerator hobbling along towards...

The blood drained from his face as he recognized the busty girl Accelerator was advancing on. That wasn't Yomikawa; that was Fukiyose.

This would not end well.

He caught Last Order by the shoulder and forced her to stop,

"Take this and stay here." he ordered, shoving his bento and drink into her arms. He ignored her questions and rushed towards Accelerator, intending to avert a potential disaster.

Accelerator continued to make a beeline for Fukiyose, heedless of her clenched fists. From this distance, Touma was just able to make out what he was saying,

"Oi! You, with the giant knockers! These shit heads want to know if your tits get in the way when-"

Accelerator never finished the sentence. Fukiyose's fist rocketed forward and slugged the unsuspecting Level 5 right in the face. Touma watched in horror as the body of the most powerful esper in the world left the ground, landing a few meters back from where he started. Accelerator laid dazed for a moment, staring up at the sky as he tried to piece together what just happened.

Confusion quickly turned into fury as he began to regain his bearings. Accelerator's left hand shot up to his choker as his bruised face contorted into murderous rage.

Touma moved to keep Accelerator from committing a felony. He dove on top of the enraged albino and pined his hand to the ground, preventing the Level 5 from activating his powers.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT FUCKING WHORE!" Accelerator screamed as he struggled against Touma's vice grip.

Touma ignored him and focused on keeping his arm pinned. Fortunately, Accelerator wasn't all that strong physically, so he was able to-

Stars suddenly exploded into his vision as he felt a heavy blow to the back of his head. Then another to his back. And yet another to his arms...

Accelerator had somehow managed to grasp his cane with his free hand and was smacking Touma anywhere and everywhere he could reach.

Touma grit his teeth as he shouldered another couple of blows to his back. Why couldn't Fukiyose have just finished the job and knocked the guy out in one clean blow? That's the least she could have done, given the circumstance. You're seriously killing me here, Fukiyose!

Accelerator's rage showed no signs of ending, "YOU ROTTEN FUCKING SHIT STAIN, I'M GOING TO UNKIN IP LOUT CURR OART EW RUKIM-!"

Touma blinked at Accelerator's sudden inability to speak properly. Struck with the realization that the Level 5 was now barely struggling against him, he quickly capitalized on the opening. He wrenched the cane out of Accelerator's grasp with hardly any resistance and pinned both of his hands to the ground. Unable to move, the albino could do nothing but give him look of pure hatred. But even then, his eyes seemed to lack the flare they usually had...

Still panting heavily, Touma glanced at where he had left Last Order. The girl looked like she was concentrating heavily on Accelerator.

Was she interfering with Accelerator's connection to the Network? Yomikawa had explained to him yesterday that Accelerator was depended on the Sisters to perform even the most basic of functions. She had also informed him that Last Order could hinder or even completely cut off that access in case of an emergency...

"Kamijou."

Touma turned his head and gave Fukiyose an exasperated look. Safety precautions aside, was this girl completely nuts? Did she not understand what Accelerator was capable of? Or of how short a fuse he had? He didn't know whether to admire her bravery or be angry at her for doing something so suicidal. To actually punch the top esper like that...

...Though he didn't have much room to talk, all considering. But that was _different_.

Fukiyose gave him a pointed look, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't glare at me like that, Kamijou. Now, I assume that this is the Accelerator that you claim was involved with the destruction of our school?"

Touma gave her a tired nod. Fukiyose studied the pale Level 5, noticing that he had the same tracking bracelet attached to his ankle that the rest of the group had, "In that case, I have a few things I would like to say to you Accelerator."

Fukiyose folded her arms beneath her breasts, unintentionally accentuating her considerable bust, "I do not know the circumstances behind this mess. And quite frankly, I don't care. What you did to our school was unacceptable. "

Fukiyose's fiery gaze locked with Accelerator's semi-blank one, "I'm going to make this absolutely clear. I do not care about your ranking, your social stature, or your power. Once you have been registered, you are just another student that attends A Certain High School. And at our school, students are expected to follow a code of conduct befitting a mature young adult. If you are incapable of behaving in a civilized and rational way and insist upon going on blind rampages for your own selfish reasons, then you do not belong at A Certain High School. Is that clear?"

Accelerator just continued to give her a slightly unfocused look. Touma didn't have the heart to tell her that the Level 5 could hardly understand what she was saying when he was cut off from the Network like this.

This brief stare-off between the two of them might have lasted for quite a long time had Touma's stomach not intervened with a particularly loud growl. Touma flushed a little as Fukiyose fixed him with a cross expression.

"I suppose I got the message across for now. Once lunch break ends, I'm going to have the four of you help with student stalls. Report to Chikusei Street at twelve o'clock." Fukiyose ordered as she procured a health bar from her pocket and forced it into his hands, "And get something to eat in the meantime, Kamijou. You're going to pass out if you don't receive enough nutrients."

Touma gave her a confused look, "I thought Yomikawa said you had to supervise us?"

Fukiyose turned around, showing her back to him, "I have things to do Kamijou. I trust that you four have been doing fine without me up until this point, and I'd rather not waste my time babysitting if I could help it."

Touma grimaced at the steeliness in her voice. Unable to properly respond, he watched as the Iron Wall stalked off back the way she had come.

Touma breathed out a sigh of relief as she left. He had been hoping that Fukiyose would have calmed down a bit since this morning. In a way, she had. But she was still definitely pissed at them. And a pissed off Fukiyose was a pretty scary thing to deal with, regardless of who her anger was being directed at.

"Unkin shiihaen." Accelerator gurgled from underneath him.

Speaking of scary things...

Touma cautiously picked himself off of Accelerator, wincing at the couple of places the albino had managed to hit him with the cane. He offered the Level 5 a hand up, but Accelerator threw him a dirty look and clumsily slapped it away, babbling another incoherent insult. It seemed like he wasn't quite 'plugged in' enough to talk straight, but was still allowed some movement.

As Accelerator struggled to stand on his own two feet, Touma caught sight of Pierce and Tsuchimikado. The two of them were sporting massive grins as they hustled towards Touma and Accelerator. Once they were within ear shot, Pierce called out to Accelerator,

"Dude, that was awesome! You didn't even flinch!" Pierce congratulated excitedly.

"Nya, you took it head on like a real man." Tsuchimikado added, clearly impressed.

Touma narrowed his eyes at their antics, "...What are you two talking about?"

"Accelerator man! Didn't you see him? He didn't even try to dodge Fukiyose's punch!" Pierce answered with something akin to pride.

The blue haired idiot gave Accelerator a friendly slap on the back. Already having trouble standing back up as it was, Accelerator staggered under the force of the blow and crumpled back to the ground. The Level 5 let loose a string of inarticulate garble, which Touma suspected was him cursing out Pierce.

Pierce failed to make the connection,

"Whoa, what's wrong with him?" he asked with some concern.

"I think he's still a little woozy from Fukiyose hitting him." Tsuchimikado reasoned.

A look of understanding dawned on the pervert's face, "Oh, sorry 'bout that Accelerator. Here, we'll help you up."

Pierce stooped down and slung the one of Accelerator's arms over his shoulder. Tsuchimikado did the same with the opposite arm. Together they stood up, hefting the injured Level 5 back into a standing position.

This only seemed to infuriate Accelerator even more, "Gerr uff may ew nuken hawkuken agot!"

"Don't sweat it man, the first time is always the worst. You'll be fine in a bit, don't worry!" Pierce replied cheerfully.

"Could someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Touma asked tiredly.

Tsuchimikado flashed him an easy going smile, "Well you see, Pierce wanted to know-"

"'Accelerator!' Misaka barks as Misaka gets her guardian's attention!"

Touma glanced at Last Order, who was marching angrily towards the three of them. The petite electromaster handed Touma's bento back to him before turning to regard the inarticulate albino,

"'Misaka can't believe you! Misaka thought you were making some progress since you behaved well yesterday, but then Misaka finds you trying to pick fights again!' Misaka reprimands as Misaka expresses her disappointment!"

"Now now, don't get on his back Last Order. Accelerator did a really brave thing just now." Pierce scolded, surprisingly coming to Accelerator's aide.

Last Order gave the pervert a confused look, "'How was Accelerator being brave?' Misaka asks as Misaka seeks understanding of what transpired."

"Yea, I'd like an explanation myself." Touma seconded.

Tsuchimikado started again, "Like I was saying earlier, we were waiting around when Pierce brought up a really good question..."

"...Which was?" Touma prodded impatiently.

"Whether or not girls with big boobs have trouble tying their shoes." the blonde answered solemnly.

Touma facepalmed at the speed of sound, "You can't be serious."

"Do _you_ know whether boobs get in the way or not?" Pierce challenged.

"..."

"Yea, I thought so."

"Then couldn't you have at least googled it or something?" Touma asked in exasperation.

"Do you honestly think I wouldn't try that first? There's nothing on it." Pierce countered.

"Anyways, we figured we needed to ask someone with big breasts to get a straight answer. We wanted to ask Fukiyose, but we were both afraid that she would beat the hell out of us." Tsuchimikado continued.

"Then Accelerator volunteered to ask himself and took all the heat from Fukiyose just for us!" Pierce concluded for Tsuchimikado, "So you see Last Order, Accelerator was being super brave and selfless when he confronted Fukiyose like that!"

Last Order made a difficult expression as she peered down at herself, "'Is Accelerator interested in that sort of thing?' Misaka asks as Misaka starts to lose self confidence."

"Big boobs? Nah, that would be Kami-yan. Accelerator strikes me as more of an ass man." Pierce answered offhandedly.

"'I see.' Misaka mumbles as Misaka contemplates this new information."

"What the hell are you saying to a kid you idiot!" Touma yelled.

Tsuchimikado shook his head, "Nya, I still can't believe Accelerator was able to take a hit from Fukiyose like that. I seriously underestimated him."

"Yea, same here." Pierce admitted before shooting the defunct esper a toothy grin, "You know, I had my doubts, but you're actually a pretty cool guy Accelerator."

Accelerator gurgled angrily, still unable to speak his mind to the blue haired idiot. Touma heaved a sigh as he felt the headache from this morning beginning to surface again,

"I'm heading back. You two help Accelerator along." he deadpanned, "C'mon Last Order."

Taking the girl by the hand, Touma led her away from the group of morons and back towards his original destination. Pierce was yelling about how holding hands was lewd, but he ignored him. He just wanted to eat.

Once they were back at the lunch break area, Touma wasted no time in digging into his food. The "Misaka Rogue's" bento was as tasty as it looked, and he had already eaten a third of it by the time Tsuchimikado and Pierce had managed to escort Accelerator back.

Since returning, Accelerator seemed to be slowly regaining control over his speech and movement. Touma had his suspicions that Last Order was still peeved at him for causing such a big incident, and was purposefully taking her time in completely restoring his connection to the Network. Or she was just giving him time to calm down before she gave him free reign. Maybe it was a little of both. He just hoped that Yomikawa came back and took Accelerator away before they had to work with Fukiyose. Something told him that Accelerator wasn't going to forgive Fukiyose of his rapidly-forming black eye anytime soon. And Touma wasn't looking forward to another round of wrestling.

"By the way Kami-yan, did you ever meet up with that big red headed guy? I think his name was 'Steel' or something." Pierce inquired, snapping Touma out of his musings.

"Steel? Oh, you mean Stiyl. Yea, I talked with him for a bit..." Touma replied slowly, wondering how Pierce knew the fire mage.

"Man, you've been meeting up a lot with foreigners lately! Is he in a band or-?"

"Hey Kami-yan, did Fukiyose tell you what we're going to be doing next?' Tsuchimikado asked, steering the conversation away from Stiyl.

Nice save Tsuchimikado. The less Pierce got involved with magic the better.

"Nope. She just told us to meet up with her at Chikusei Street by noon." Touma answered as he checked the time on his phone, "Looks like we have eighteen minutes left."

"Nya..."

The conversation came to an abrupt halt as they realized that their break was almost over. Touma carefully set down his half eaten bento, unsure of what to say next. He stared listlessly at a group of girls strolling down the sidewalk on the other side of the street, noticing that all three were wearing the Tokiwadai middle school uniform. The one in the lead was making grand gestures with a folded green fan, as if to add spice to whatever it was that they were talking about. The other two girls seemed to be enthralled with the lead girl's story, though Touma got the feeling they were just humoring her as a friend.

Pierce wistfully gazed at the three girls as they passed by, "How long do we have to keep doing community service for anyway?"

"Until we pay off the school for repair fees." Tsuchimikado reminded.

"How much was that again?"

"I don't know man… they just started tearing down the building today, so I don't even think they have an actual amount yet…" Tsuchimikado answered dejectedly.

"Ugh… we need a rich ojou-sama to lend us money or something…" Pierce mumbled as he stared after the departing backs of the Tokiwadai girls.

Touma leaned his head back against the brick wall and peered up at the sky. Truth be told, he actually knew a certain tomboyish "ojou-sama" well enough to call her a friend…

He took a moment to envision how the exchange would go. The image of an uncharacteristically smug Misaka Mikoto swam into view,

"_Oh ho! A commoner like you, asking me to pay off your debt? Leave it to the poor to spend money they don't have… Luckily for you, the great and benevolent Misaka-sama is feeling generous. I'll pay off your debt if you become my personal servant. That's a fair trade, right? Good! Now get ready, we're going to play __**Railgun Catch**__ for a few hours~"_

Touma shuddered a bit,

"That line of thinking is way too dangerous…" he muttered darkly. He couldn't ask her for something like that anyway. It was his problem, so he needed to fix it on his own.

Pierce frowned, "Yea, you're right. You'd have to raise a lot of flags before that option became available, or else you'd risk a reversal. Still, if there was some way we could get one… too…"

Touma glanced over at Pierce, who had trailed off mid sentence, "Pierce?"

Pierce suddenly leapt to his feet, his face lit up in excitement,

"I'VE GOT IT!" the blue haired pervert announced explosively.

"Got what?" Touma asked wearily.

"How we're going to get out of debt!" Pierce replied enthusiastically, "I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!"

Tsuchimikado cocked an eyebrow at the bold declaration, "How?"

Pierce was positively beaming, "If we can't get ojous to _lend _us money, then we'll just have to _earn_ it! From them and anyone else that's willing to pay! If we can just set up in time for the festival..."

Festival? Ojous? Touma couldn't see what Pierce was getting at.

Neither could Tsuchimikado apparently, "Nya, just calm down and tell us already."

Pierce drew himself to his fullest height, his smile hard and brazen. His face spoke of confidence and assured victory, forged through countless years of experience.

"We're going to open a host club."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Hey, I'm back. It's been awhile.

I had a hell of a time with this chapter. To be honest, I'm still not completely satisfied with it, but maybe I'm just beating myself up. It was originally supposed to be longer, but I ended up having to split it. It still came out to almost 22k words somehow. Maybe I'm being too wordy. Oh well.

Pierce's ending line might sound weird, but I'll let Pierce do the explaining in the next chapter... whenever it gets released. I would give an ETA of when that would be, but as I've demonstrated numerous times, I suck ass at estimating both chapter length and completion time. I'm going to try to be more consistent from now on though. Also, at some point I'm probably going to go back and fix some typos in past chapters. I think that means I have to resubmit the chapters or something. So if you suddenly get spammed by five or so "updates," that's why.

Well, that's about it. Let me know how I did, and share any tips that you have. I'm still learning, after all. And thanks for sticking with me and my super slow updates.

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go try to not suck ass at P4:Arena.


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